Standards and expectations are important in a relationship, but not if they’re too lofty.
After all, your partner is a human being with their own life, as well as their own needs, wants, and boundaries. If you’re not quite sure whether the things you expect from your partner might be unrealistic, if not downright impossible, here are some signs that you might need to be a bit more realistic. Otherwise, you’ll end up disappointed — and potentially single again!
1. You expect them to read your mind.
Assuming your partner should just “know” what you need without you saying it can lead to frustration on both sides. Mind-reading is out of reach for most of us, so a little clear communication can make things so much easier (and avoids unnecessary guessing games).
2. You want them to make you happy 24/7.
While a good relationship brings joy, it’s unrealistic to expect your partner to keep you in a constant state of happiness. Happiness is a shared responsibility, and expecting one person to carry that load can create strain. Finding joy within yourself makes the happiness they add a bonus, not a requirement.
3. You think they should change for you.
Expecting someone to change fundamental aspects of who they are to fit your ideal can lead to disappointment. Growth is great, but trying to mould them into someone they’re not is a recipe for resentment. Loving them as they are, while supporting their growth, brings much more peace.
4. You expect to agree on everything.
Even the best couples disagree sometimes. Expecting to be on the same page about every single thing can make natural differences feel like problems. Respecting each other’s perspectives can make disagreements a chance to learn rather than a source of tension.
5. You assume they’ll always have the same interests as you.
It’s easy to expect your partner to love what you love, but it’s not always realistic. Different interests can actually keep things interesting! Supporting each other’s hobbies, even if they’re not shared, lets you both stay true to yourselves while building a balanced relationship.
6. You want them to handle every tough situation perfectly.
No one is flawless under stress, and expecting perfection when things get tough can be a lot of pressure. Everyone has their own way of coping, and giving each other grace in challenging times goes a long way in keeping things strong and understanding.
7. You need them to always be “on” for you.
Sometimes, your partner might not have the energy to be 100% present, and that’s okay. We all have days when we’re just not at our best. Giving each other room to recharge without taking it personally can make the relationship feel a lot lighter.
8. You expect romance to look like a movie.
Real-life romance isn’t always grand gestures and perfect dates. Expecting constant fireworks and “movie moments” can set you up for disappointment. The real magic is in those small, everyday gestures that show they care, even if they’re not scripted and camera-ready.
9. You believe they should make every moment memorable.
Not every day is going to be extraordinary, and expecting constant excitement can make normal moments feel lacking. Embracing the simple, quiet times helps you appreciate the beauty in just being together, without needing everything to be a “moment.”
10. You want them to be your “everything.”
It’s easy to want your partner to be your best friend, confidant, cheerleader, and more, but that’s a lot for one person. Having other friends, family, and personal outlets keeps things healthy, so your partner can be a significant part of your life without having to fill every role.
11. You expect instant understanding in every argument.
Sometimes, it takes time to process feelings and understand each other’s perspective. Expecting instant clarity in every disagreement can make things feel rushed and tense. Giving each other space to work through things in your own time can lead to better resolutions.
12. You assume they’ll never have bad days.
Everyone has off days, and expecting your partner to always be upbeat or cheerful is a bit unrealistic. They’re allowed to feel down, tired, or even grumpy sometimes. Supporting each other through the lows helps build a relationship that’s resilient and real.
13. You want them to always remember every little detail.
Remembering birthdays or special dates is important, but expecting your partner to remember every small detail can be a bit much. It doesn’t mean they don’t care; it just means they’re human. Gentle reminders go a lot further than feeling let down over missed details.
14. You believe they should never need space.
Time alone isn’t a sign of trouble; it’s often necessary for personal well-being. Expecting your partner to always want to be together can create feelings of guilt when they need time for themselves. Supporting each other’s need for space shows respect and strengthens trust.
15. You think they should handle emotions the same way you do.
Everyone has their own way of processing feelings, and expecting them to match yours exactly can create misunderstandings. Accepting their unique way of handling emotions, even if it’s different from yours, helps you both feel respected and seen.
16. You want them to “just know” how you feel.
Hoping your partner can pick up on your mood or feelings without saying anything is setting them up for failure. Clear communication works wonders. It’s not about them “just knowing”; it’s about creating a space where you can openly share how you feel.
17. You expect them to always put your needs first.
A healthy relationship means caring for each other’s needs, but expecting your partner to prioritise yours above all else can be draining. Balance and compromise are key, and sometimes meeting in the middle brings you closer than expecting them to always bend.
