It’s not exactly rocket science to figure out that the world can be a tiring place.
And sometimes, dealing with people can just add an extra layer of stress to our lives. But have you ever stopped to think about why, exactly, you might feel that way? It might be helpful to consider some of the reasons we all occasionally struggle to connect with people. Here are some of the common experiences that can make us crave some quiet time away from social interaction.
1. You avoid expressing your true opinions.
Source: Unsplash Maybe you keep quiet instead of disagreeing with someone in a meeting. Or you nod along with a friend’s opinion even if you don’t genuinely feel the same way. While a little diplomacy is important, constantly censoring your true thoughts might be a sign you’re afraid of being judged or disliked if people knew what you really believed. And that might be a signal of deeper feelings of insecurity or discomfort in your own skin.
2. Small talk exhausts you more than it energises you.
We all know those people who can effortlessly bounce from topic to topic, seemingly fuelled by the lightest of conversations. If you find yourself counting down the minutes until you can escape these exchanges, it’s possible you simply have different social energy levels than those around you. There’s no shame in craving deeper, more meaningful interactions instead of surface-level chatter.
3. You’d rather text than talk on the phone.
Source: Unsplash Sure, it’s convenient. But is it also because you’d rather avoid the potential awkwardness of a phone conversation? If you find yourself constantly hitting “decline” instead of picking up the phone, it might be a sign you’re not totally at ease with the natural flow of verbal communication. It could be a simple preference, or it might stem from a bit of social anxiety.
4. You’re exhausted by drama.
Everyone has those friends who seem to live for the latest gossip or interpersonal conflict. If you find yourself rolling your eyes or tuning out when the drama starts, it might be a sign you value peace and harmony over the thrill of the latest scandal. You likely have little tolerance for pettiness or negativity, and that’s perfectly okay.
5. You feel drained after social events.
Some people emerge from a party feeling energised, while others just want to crawl into bed. If you’re firmly in the latter camp, it’s possible you’re simply an introvert who needs time alone to recharge. This doesn’t mean you dislike people, but it does mean you have a limited amount of social energy to expend before you need to retreat to your quiet corner of the world.
6. You struggle to maintain eye contact.
Do you find yourself looking away during conversations, or focusing on anything other than the person’s eyes? Maintaining eye contact can be a sign of confidence and engagement, so struggling with it might be a signal of discomfort or insecurity. This can create a barrier to connection, making it harder to fully engage with the people around you.
7. You compare yourself to other people a lot.
We all do it from time to time, but if you find yourself constantly measuring your worth against everyone else’s achievements or appearances, it might be time to check in with yourself. This tendency can breed resentment, envy, and dissatisfaction, making it difficult to genuinely appreciate the people around you. You might be subconsciously pushing people away in an attempt to protect your fragile self-esteem.
8. You prefer animals to people.
Source: Unsplash Let’s be honest, animals can be a lot less complicated than people! If you find yourself feeling more comfortable and understood by your furry friends, it might be a sign you’re feeling a bit disillusioned with human interaction. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, as long as you don’t completely isolate yourself from the world. Animals can offer unconditional love and companionship, which can be a valuable refuge when human relationships feel messy or unsatisfying.
9. You have trouble saying “no.”
Do you often find yourself agreeing to things you don’t actually want to do, simply to avoid disappointing people? This can lead to feeling overwhelmed, resentful, and taken advantage of. If you struggle to set boundaries and prioritise your own needs, it’s easy to become frustrated with the people who seem to be constantly demanding your time and energy. Learning to say “no” is a crucial step in protecting your mental and emotional well-being.
10. You dislike gossip and negativity.
Source: Unsplash If you cringe whenever the conversation turns to the latest rumours or complaints, you’re not alone. Many people find negativity and gossip to be draining and pointless. You might be someone who values positivity and constructive conversation, and the constant barrage of negativity can leave you feeling emotionally exhausted. It’s natural to want to distance yourself from people who seem to thrive on drama and negativity.
11. You’re sensitive to loud noises and crowds.
If you find yourself overwhelmed by noisy environments or large groups of people, it might be a sign you’re more sensitive to sensory input than others. This can make social gatherings feel like an assault on your senses, leading to feelings of anxiety and exhaustion. You might prefer quieter, more intimate settings where you can connect with people on a deeper level without feeling overwhelmed by external stimuli.
12. You have been hurt in the past.
Past experiences can have a lasting impact on our relationships. If you’ve been hurt by friends or family members, it’s natural to feel wary and hesitant to trust again. This can make it difficult to form new connections or open up to people. It’s important to acknowledge these past wounds and allow yourself time to heal, but it’s also important to remember that not everyone will hurt you in the same way. It takes courage to move past the pain and embrace the possibility of new connections.
13. You’re a private person.
Some people are naturally more reserved than others, and that’s perfectly okay. If you prefer to keep your thoughts and feelings to yourself, you might find it difficult to connect with people who are more outgoing and open. You might feel like you have to put on a facade or pretend to be someone you’re not in order to fit in, and that can be incredibly exhausting. It’s important to find people who respect your privacy and allow you to open up at your own pace.
14. You don’t feel understood.
Source: Unsplash We all crave connection and understanding. If you feel like the people around you don’t “get” you, it’s easy to feel isolated and misunderstood. This can lead to frustration, resentment, and a desire to withdraw from social interactions. It might be a matter of finding people who share your interests and values, or it might be a matter of learning to communicate your thoughts and feelings more effectively. Whatever the case may be, feeling misunderstood can be a major barrier to forming meaningful connections.
15. You need a lot of personal space.
Source: Unsplash If you find yourself craving solitude and feeling suffocated by too much togetherness, you might be someone who needs a lot of personal space to feel comfortable. This doesn’t mean you dislike people, but it does mean you have a limited tolerance for constant interaction. You might need time alone to recharge and process your thoughts and feelings. It’s important to communicate this need to the people around you, so they can understand and respect your boundaries.
16. You’re more comfortable with one-on-one interactions.
Source: Unsplash Some people thrive in group settings, while others prefer the intimacy and depth of one-on-one conversations. If you fall into the latter category, you might find large social gatherings to be overwhelming and exhausting. You might feel like you can’t truly connect with people when there are too many distractions and competing voices. It’s okay to prioritise quality over quantity when it comes to your social interactions.
17. You have different values.
Source: Unsplash Sometimes, the reason we don’t connect with certain people is simply a matter of differing values. If you find yourself disagreeing with someone’s core beliefs or lifestyle choices, it can be difficult to maintain a close relationship. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, as it’s important to surround yourself with people who share your values and support your goals. It’s okay to walk away from relationships that feel draining or incompatible with your own values.
