Friendships and romantic relationships, while both really important to our lives, need different qualities to thrive.
Source: Unsplash Some traits that make a person an ideal friend might not translate well into a romantic partnership. Here are some qualities that are great in platonic pals, but not necessarily something you want in someone you’re coupled up with long-term.
1. They’re always available for a chat or night out.
As a friend, being constantly available is a wonderful trait. You’re always there for a late-night phone call or an impromptu meetup. However, in a romantic relationship, this constant availability can lead to a lack of personal space and independence. Partners need time apart to maintain their individuality and prevent the relationship from becoming suffocating.
2. They’re brutally honest about everything.
Honesty is crucial in any relationship, but the brutal honesty that makes for a great friend can be problematic in a romantic partnership. While you might appreciate a friend’s unfiltered opinion on your new haircut, that level of bluntness from a partner can be hurtful. Romantic relationships often require more tact and consideration in communication.
3. They’re fiercely independent and self-reliant.
Independence is admirable in a friend. They don’t rely on you for emotional support or decision-making. However, in a romantic relationship, this fierce independence can create emotional distance. Partners need to be able to lean on each other and make joint decisions, which can be challenging for someone used to complete self-reliance.
4. They’re always up for an adventure without planning.
Source: Unsplash Spontaneity is fantastic in a friend. They’re always ready for an impromptu road trip or a last-minute concert. But in a romantic relationship, this lack of planning can lead to chaos. Partnerships often require some level of stability and future planning, which can be challenging for someone who lives purely in the moment.
5. They’re the life of every party.
Source: Unsplash Having a friend who’s the social butterfly is great fun. They light up every gathering and ensure everyone has a good time. However, this constant need to be the centre of attention can be exhausting in a romantic partner. It might lead to feelings of neglect or competition within the relationship.
6. They’re always willing to lend money without expecting repayment.
Source: Unsplash A friend who’s generous with their finances can be a lifesaver in tough times. But in a romantic relationship, this cavalier attitude towards money can lead to financial instability. Couples need to be on the same page about budgeting and financial goals, which can be difficult with someone who’s too free with their funds.
7. They keep their emotions tightly under wraps.
Source: Unsplash Emotional stability is valuable in a friend. They’re the rock you can rely on without drama. However, in a romantic relationship, this emotional guardedness can prevent intimacy and vulnerability. Partners need to be able to share their feelings openly to build a deep, meaningful connection.
8. They’re always ready to take your side in any argument.
Source: Unsplash Having a friend who’s always in your corner feels great. They support you unconditionally in any dispute. But in a romantic relationship, this unwillingness to challenge your perspective can hinder personal growth. A good partner should be able to provide constructive criticism and help you see different viewpoints.
9. They’re comfortable with long periods of no contact.
Friends who can pick up right where they left off after months of silence are precious. This ability to maintain a connection without constant communication is admirable. However, in a romantic relationship, regular contact and shared experiences are crucial for building and maintaining intimacy.
10. They’re always willing to drop everything to help you move house.
A friend who’s always ready to help with practical tasks is invaluable. They’ll spend their weekend helping you move without complaint. But in a romantic relationship, this readiness to neglect their own needs or plans can lead to an unhealthy imbalance. Partners need to maintain their own lives and interests outside the relationship.
11. They’re the perfect wingman or wingwoman.
Having a friend who’s great at talking you up to potential romantic interests is fantastic. They know how to make you shine in social situations. However, this skill doesn’t translate well to being a romantic partner. The ability to promote someone else’s romantic prospects isn’t particularly useful within a committed relationship.
12. They’re always ready to indulge in your vices.
A friend who’s up for that extra pint or late-night kebab can be great fun. They’re your partner in crime for occasional indulgences. But in a romantic relationship, this willingness to enable potentially unhealthy habits can be problematic. Partners should ideally encourage each other’s growth and well-being.
13. They’re extremely private about their personal life.
A friend who doesn’t burden you with their personal drama can be refreshing. They keep their problems to themselves and focus on your time together. However, in a romantic relationship, this level of privacy can prevent deep emotional connection. Partners need to be willing to share their lives, including their struggles and vulnerabilities.
14. They’re always ready with a shoulder to cry on.
Having a friend who’s always there to listen to your problems is invaluable. They provide a safe space for you to vent without judgement. But in a romantic relationship, being solely a passive listener isn’t enough. Partners need to actively engage in problem-solving and supporting each other’s growth.
15. They’re completely drama-free.
A drama-free friend is a breath of fresh air. They don’t involve you in complicated personal issues. However, in a romantic relationship, this avoidance of conflict can prevent necessary discussions and resolution of problems. Healthy partnerships require addressing issues head-on, even if it creates temporary tension.
16. They’re always up for trying new restaurants and cuisines.
Having a friend who’s adventurous with food is great for expanding your culinary horizons. They’re always game to try the latest fusion restaurant. But in a romantic relationship, this constant need for novelty in all aspects of life can be exhausting. Long-term partnerships also require finding joy in routine and familiar comforts.
17. They’re fiercely loyal to their long-standing group of friends.
Loyalty is admirable in a friend. They never abandon their old mates for new acquaintances. However, in a romantic relationship, this unwavering allegiance to an established friend group can make it difficult to create a new shared social circle. Partners need to be able to integrate their lives, including their social connections.
