Mental health problems have been on the rise for the past decade, and given all that’s happening in the world, it’s easy to see why.
In 2023, there were five million NHS referrals for mental health services, which was a 33% increase from 2019, according to the BMA. Seeing these numbers in print makes it clear just how prevalent issues like depression and anxiety are, and while you can’t simply think your way back to a calmer, happier mindset, there are certain bad habits that may be exacerbating the negative feelings you’re experiencing. Here are some of the most destructive patterns to remove from your daily life — you’ll be a lot better off.
1. Relying on other people for validation
It’s easy to look to friends, social media, or family for a confidence boost. But depending on other people for that feel-good factor can leave you feeling drained or insecure when the feedback isn’t there. Learning to appreciate yourself, even in small ways, can make you feel way more secure.
2. Holding in your feelings
Keeping emotions bottled up might seem like an easy fix, but over time, it tends to build tension that eventually finds a way out—sometimes in ways you don’t expect. Letting yourself feel emotions as they come can actually help you process things quicker and with less stress.
3. Letting work take over
Work can quickly take over if you let it, especially with emails or to-do lists lingering after hours. But without clear boundaries, it’s easy to feel constantly “on,” which can lead to burnout. Creating a bit of “me time” outside of work can really help balance your energy and boost your mood.
4. Ignoring what your body’s telling you
Your body sends little signals—like feeling tired, tense, or just “off”—that can be clues about your mental state. Ignoring them might feel convenient, but eventually, they catch up with you. Paying attention to these signs can help you stay on top of your mental and physical wellbeing.
5. Setting sky-high goals every day
Big goals are great, but if you’re setting daily targets that you can’t realistically reach, it can be discouraging. Over time, it builds up that sense of “I’m never doing enough,” which is draining. Try breaking down those big goals into smaller steps you can actually enjoy ticking off.
6. Constantly scrolling through bad news
It’s normal to want to stay informed, but endless news feeds can fill your mind with negativity, leaving you anxious or feeling powerless. A little break from constant updates can be refreshing and give you the space to recharge without the background stress.
7. Treating self-care as an “extra”
It’s easy to put off self-care for “when there’s time.” But doing so can leave you feeling depleted and less able to deal with life’s ups and downs. Even a few minutes of self-care each day can help recharge your mind and give you the patience to handle things more calmly.
8. Giving too much attention to critical thoughts
Negative self-talk can easily slip into the background of your mind, making it hard to feel proud of your accomplishments or happy in your own skin. Learning to notice these thoughts and remind yourself of your strengths can bring a refreshing change in how you see yourself.
9. Avoiding hard conversations
Putting off difficult discussions might seem like the stress-free route, but over time, it only creates more tension. Getting issues out in the open can feel like a relief and often strengthens the bond between you and the other person—leaving less room for misunderstandings and more room for real connections.
10. Constantly planning for the future
Thinking ahead is helpful, but spending too much time on it can make today feel like it’s just passing by. Enjoying the moment as it is can be grounding and reduce that anxious feeling of always preparing for “what’s next.”
11. Trying to make everyone happy
The desire to keep everyone happy is understandable but can leave you feeling stretched thin and a bit lost. Realising that you don’t have to meet everyone’s expectations can free you up to focus on what you really want and need.
12. Not setting boundaries with people
When you say “yes” to everything, it’s easy to end up feeling overextended and overwhelmed. Setting gentle boundaries gives you control over your own time and energy, making it easier to recharge and spend time on what genuinely matters to you.
13. Putting things off until the last minute
Procrastination feels like a relief in the short term, but the stress of rushing to finish everything can leave you feeling anxious or unhappy with the outcome. Tackling tasks a bit at a time can help you avoid that pressure and boost your sense of accomplishment.
14. Hanging on to toxic relationships
Spending time around people who bring you down can affect your energy and make it harder to feel positive. Prioritising friendships that feel uplifting and healthy makes a big difference to your mental state and helps you feel supported.
15. Sacrificing sleep to “get more done”
Source: Unsplash Cutting into your sleep to be more productive can leave you feeling sluggish and irritable. Quality sleep not only improves mood but also helps you handle stress and focus better, making it worth prioritising for the long haul.
16. Getting stuck on past mistakes
Source: Unsplash Focusing too much on what’s already happened can be draining, taking up mental space that could be spent on things you enjoy or look forward to. Allowing yourself to learn from past experiences without dwelling on them frees you up for new possibilities.
