Healing from narcissistic abuse is unlikely to be a short journey.
Being subjected to gaslighting, manipulation, and control has a massive effect on a person, and just because you’re free of that behaviour doesn’t mean the effects of it suddenly melt away. However, this doesn’t have to define your life. In fact, you can find the closure you need to start moving forward into a happier, healthier life by doing these things. You deserve to be happy — and you’ll get there.
1. Accept that closure won’t come from them.
Narcissists rarely admit fault or offer the validation you’re after, so waiting for them to provide closure will keep you stuck. Acceptance is the first step to healing, allowing you to focus on your own growth instead of expecting answers from someone who may never give them. This shift can help you regain control of your narrative.
2. Cut off contact completely.
Going no-contact is one of the most effective ways to heal from narcissistic abuse. Blocking them on all platforms and avoiding situations where you might run into them helps reduce their ability to manipulate or hurt you further. This boundary creates the emotional space needed for recovery.
3. Educate yourself about narcissism.
Understanding the traits and tactics of narcissists can help you make sense of your experience. Learning about gaslighting, love bombing, and manipulation gives you clarity and validates your feelings. Knowledge is empowering, helping you recognise that the abuse wasn’t your fault.
4. Surround yourself with supportive people.
Reaching out to trusted friends, family, or support groups can remind you that you’re not alone. Being around people who validate your emotions and provide encouragement helps counter the isolation often caused by narcissistic abuse. Building a strong support network is essential for healing.
5. Focus on self-compassion.
Source: Unsplash Narcissistic abuse often leaves you doubting yourself or feeling unworthy. Practising self-compassion helps you rebuild your self-esteem and treat yourself with the kindness you deserve. Remind yourself that you’re human, and healing takes time, patience, and forgiveness for yourself.
6. Set and maintain boundaries.
After experiencing boundary violations from a narcissist, learning to set firm limits is crucial. Boundaries protect your mental health and prevent future exploitation. Practice saying “no” without guilt, and remember that your needs and feelings matter just as much as anyone else’s.
7. Acknowledge and process your feelings.
Suppressing emotions like anger, sadness, or confusion can prolong the healing process. Allow yourself to feel and express these emotions without judgement. Journaling, therapy, or creative outlets can help you process your feelings and move forward with clarity.
8. Avoid trying to get revenge or seeking validation.
It’s natural to want the narcissist to understand your pain, but seeking revenge or validation often backfires. Narcissists thrive on drama and attention, so disengaging entirely is more empowering. Focus on your healing instead of wasting energy trying to change or punish them.
9. Reclaim your identity.
Source: Unsplash Narcissistic abuse can make you lose sight of who you are outside the relationship. Rediscovering your passions, interests, and goals helps rebuild your sense of self. Reclaiming your identity is a powerful way to take back the control they tried to strip from you.
10. Practice mindfulness and grounding techniques.
Source: Unsplash The emotional aftermath of narcissistic abuse can leave you feeling anxious or disconnected. Mindfulness practices like meditation, deep breathing, or yoga can help you stay present and reduce stress. These techniques remind you that you’re safe and in control of your own life.
11. Get some professional therapy.
Source: Unsplash A therapist who specialises in trauma or narcissistic abuse can provide invaluable tools for healing. Therapy helps you understand the patterns of abuse, process your emotions, and develop strategies for moving forward. Professional guidance can accelerate your journey to closure.
12. Celebrate small victories.
Recovery is a gradual process, and celebrating small milestones can keep you motivated. Whether it’s setting a boundary, going a day without thinking about the narcissist, or rediscovering a hobby, acknowledging these wins builds momentum. Small steps lead to significant progress over time.
13. Let go of the need for answers.
One of the hardest parts of healing is letting go of the “why.” Narcissists often act irrationally or unpredictably, and looking for logical explanations can leave you frustrated. Accepting that their behaviour reflects them, not you, frees you from the mental loop of trying to make sense of their actions.
14. Rebuild your trust in yourself.
Narcissistic abuse can destroy your confidence in your own judgement — that’s how it’s designed. Start rebuilding trust in yourself by listening to your intuition and making decisions that honour your values. Reclaiming your inner voice helps you feel empowered and resilient moving forward.
15. Find healthy outlets for anger.
Anger is a natural response to narcissistic abuse, but holding on to it can hinder your healing. Channel your anger into constructive activities like exercise, art, or advocacy. Expressing your emotions in healthy ways allows you to release them without letting them control you.
16. Focus on your future, not your past.
While it’s essential to process your experience, dwelling too long on the past can keep you stuck. Shift your focus to what lies ahead—set new goals, explore new opportunities, and visualise the life you want to create. Looking forward helps you reclaim hope and build a future free from the shadows of the narcissist.
