When the people closest to you are the ones causing the most drama, they’ve got to go.
Maybe it’s a toxic relative who always rains on your parade, or a friend whose negativity is bringing you down. Cutting ties with loved ones can be devastating, but sometimes it’s necessary for your own mental, emotional, and even physical health. So, how do you remove these people from your life in the most peaceful way possible?
1. Be honest with yourself about why you want to cut ties.
Before you cut someone off, it’s important to be crystal clear about why you want to distance yourself from this person. Are they toxic, manipulative, or just draining your energy? Understanding your reasons will help you make a confident decision and avoid second-guessing yourself later. Trust your gut here.
2. Set clear boundaries that aren’t up for discussion.
If you’re not ready to completely cut someone off (or you’re just not in a position to do so just yet), start by setting some firm boundaries. Limit your interactions with them, avoid getting into triggering conversations, and don’t feel obligated to attend every family gathering or social event. This helps build a bit of a protective bubble around yourself – it lets people know how far they can go.
3. Communicate your decision clearly (if you choose to).
If you decide to completely cut ties, it’s often best to be upfront and frank about it. Explain your reasons calmly and respectfully, without getting into a heated argument. Remember, you don’t owe anyone an explanation, but a clear conversation can help give them closure and make them more likely to accept your decision. It’s like ripping off a bandage – it might sting a bit at first, but it’s better than a slow, painful peel.
4. Don’t feel guilty.
Cutting ties with loved ones might make you feel guilty or ashamed, but don’t give into those emotions. Remember, you have the right to put yourself first and look after yourself. It’s not selfish to protect yourself from negativity or toxicity. You have to be your biggest ally, and that means making decisions to ensure you’re okay.
5. Prepare for potential backlash.
Not everyone will understand or accept your decision to cut them off. You have to be prepared for them to kick off, criticise you, or even try to guilt-trip you. Stay strong in your conviction and remember why you made this choice in the first place. It might be rough for a while, but things will eventually get better.
6. Get some support and encouragement from other people in your life.
Lean on friends, family members, or a therapist or counsellor who can offer support and understanding during this really tough experience. Talking about your feelings and experiences can help you process them and feel less alone. That’s much better than trying to bottle everything up and act like you’re fine when you’re clearly not.
7. Focus on building healthy relationships.
Channel your energy into nurturing relationships with people who love, encourage, and support you. Surround yourself with positive influences and create a strong social network that fills you with happiness and positivity. Let go of connections that don’t serve you and focus on ones that do.
8. Allow yourself to grieve.
Even if the relationship was toxic, cutting ties with someone can (and often is) still be a painful experience. Let yourself grieve the loss and acknowledge the complicated feelings that come with it. It takes time and patience to get through it, but eventually, you’ll emerge stronger and more resilient.
9. Don’t get into drama online.
If the person you’re cutting ties with is active on social media, resist the urge to engage in online arguments or passive-aggressive posts. It will only prolong the negativity and make it harder to move on. It might feel satisfying in the moment, but it will only make things worse in the long run.
10. Block or unfollow them on social media.
Source: Unsplash If seeing their posts or updates triggers negative feelings, don’t hesitate to block or unfollow them on social media. You have the right to control what you see and who you interact with online. You won’t make space for them in your real life, why would you make space in your digital life?
11. Avoid places or events where you might run into them.
Source: Unsplash If possible, try to avoid places or events where you’re likely to encounter the person you’ve cut ties with. This will help minimise awkward encounters and reduce the temptation to re-engage. It might be a minor inconvenience, but it saves you from a bumpy ride.
12. Focus on your own growth and happiness.
Source: Unsplash Use this opportunity to focus on your own personal growth and happiness. Pursue your passions, set new goals, and do things that bring you happiness and fulfilment. It’s like embarking on a solo adventure – you’re free to explore new territories and discover your own path.
13. Forgive yourself and them.
Forgiveness doesn’t mean condoning their behaviour or forgetting the past. It’s about releasing the anger and resentment that’s holding you back. Forgive yourself for any mistakes you might have made in the relationship, and forgive them for their shortcomings. Letting go of such a heavy burden frees you to move forward with lightness and grace.
14. Be patient with yourself.
Cutting ties with loved ones is a process, and it’s okay to have good days and bad days. Be patient with yourself as you navigate this transition. Allow yourself to feel all the emotions that come up, and don’t be afraid to ask for support if you need it. It takes time and practice, but eventually, you’ll find your footing.
15. Celebrate your newfound freedom.
Once you’ve successfully distanced yourself from toxic relationships, take the time to celebrate your newfound freedom. Embrace the peace and positivity that comes with surrounding yourself with supportive people. It’s like emerging from a dark tunnel into the bright sunshine – appreciate the light and enjoy the journey ahead.
16. Remember, you’re not alone.
Source: Unsplash Many people have had to make the tough decision to cut ties with family or friends. You’re not the first, and you won’t be the last. Remember, you’re not alone in this journey. There are support groups, online communities, and therapists who can offer guidance and understanding.
