16 Ways People Can Hurt You When You Least Expect It

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The people we care about tend to be the ones who have the most power to hurt us.

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Even if they don’t intend to do it, sometimes their behaviour can cause you a lot of pain and upset, not to mention a serious loss of trust. Here are some of the ways the people you’re closest to can end up hurting you in ways you’d never expect.

1. They ghost you out of nowhere.

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One day you’re chatting away, the next radio silence. No explanation, no goodbye, just… nothing. It leaves you wondering what you did wrong and can really mess with your head. Ghosting is a coward’s move, but it happens more often than you’d think.

2. They share your secrets.

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You trusted them with something personal, thinking it was safe. Then boom — suddenly everyone knows. It’s a major betrayal and can make you think twice about opening up to anyone again. Trust is fragile, and this shatters it completely.

3. They take credit for your work.

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You’ve been working hard on a project, and just when it’s time for recognition, someone else steps in and takes all the glory. It’s not just unfair, it’s downright disrespectful. It can make you feel invisible and undervalued.

4. They make a big decision without consulting you.

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In a relationship or friendship, you expect to be part of major decisions. When someone makes a huge choice that affects you without even asking your opinion, it can feel like a slap in the face. It shows they don’t value your input or consider your feelings.

5. They lie by omission.

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Sometimes it’s not what people say, but what they don’t say that hurts. Leaving out crucial information can be just as bad as lying outright. When you finally discover the truth, it can make you question everything else they’ve told you.

6. They use your insecurities against you.

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You opened up about your vulnerabilities, and instead of supporting you, they use that knowledge as ammunition. It’s a low blow and can really damage your self-esteem. It’s especially painful because you trusted them with your weak spots.

7. They compare you to other people in some very unkind ways.

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Whether it’s an ex, a friend, or a colleague, being compared to someone else stings. It makes you feel like you’re not good enough as you are. It’s even worse when it comes from someone you care about and respect.

8. They make promises they don’t keep.

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Empty promises can really let you down, especially when you’ve been looking forward to something. It’s not just disappointing, it makes you feel unimportant and like you can’t rely on them. Over time, it destroys trust in a big way.

9. They dismiss your feelings.

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When you’re upset about something, and they brush it off like it’s no big deal, it hurts. It makes you feel like your emotions aren’t valid or important. Everyone deserves to have their feelings acknowledged, even if other people don’t agree.

10. They change suddenly.

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One day they’re your best friend or loving partner, the next they’re cold and distant. This sudden shift can leave you reeling, trying to figure out what went wrong. It’s confusing and can make you doubt your whole relationship.

11. They talk behind your back.

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Finding out someone you trust has been saying unkind things about you when you’re not around is a real gut punch. It’s betrayal, plain and simple, and it can make you question all your relationships.

12. They bail on you when you need them most.

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In tough times, you expect your friends to have your back. When they disappear just when you need support the most, it’s not just disappointing, it’s heartbreaking. It shows you who’s really there for you — and who’s not.

13. They make major life changes without telling you.

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Whether it’s moving away, changing jobs, or ending a relationship, big life changes affect the people close to you. When someone makes these decisions without even mentioning it to you, it can make you feel like you’re not an important part of their life.

14. They exclude you.

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Being left out hurts at any age. Whether it’s not being invited to a party or being excluded from group plans, it can make you feel unwanted and unimportant. It’s especially painful when you thought you were part of the group.

15. They give up on you.

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When someone you care about stops trying to maintain your relationship, it hurts. Maybe they stop reaching out, or they don’t put in effort anymore. It can make you feel like you’re not worth the effort, even though that’s not true.

16. They choose someone else over you.

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Whether it’s a romantic partner choosing to be with someone else, or a friend consistently prioritising another friendship over yours, it stings. It can make you feel second-best and unworthy, even though your worth isn’t determined by someone else’s choices.