Narcissists have fragile egos.
It doesn’t take much to bruise them, and when it happens, they react in nasty ways. If you’ve ever witnessed a narcissist’s ego take a hit, you know it ain’t pretty. They don’t just sulk in a corner; they unleash a torrent of manipulative tactics designed to protect their fragile sense of self. This isn’t about diagnosing someone; it’s about recognising toxic patterns. Here are 16 ugly tactics a narcissist might use when their ego is bruised, so you can spot them and protect yourself from the fallout.
The silent treatment
This isn’t your ordinary quiet time. It’s a calculated weapon of emotional manipulation. They’ll withdraw affection, communication, and even their presence, leaving you hanging in a void of uncertainty. It’s their way of punishing you for daring to challenge their superiority.
Gaslighting
They’ll twist your words, deny your reality, and make you question your own sanity. It’s a subtle form of psychological abuse that erodes your self-esteem and leaves you feeling utterly confused. They’ll make you believe you’re the problem, not them.
Smear campaigns
They’ll paint themselves as the victim and you as the villain, spreading lies and rumours to anyone who will listen. It’s a malicious attempt to discredit you and isolate you from your support network. They’ll stop at nothing to protect their tarnished image.
Projection
They’ll accuse you of the very things they’re guilty of. If they’re insecure, they’ll call you insecure. If they’re dishonest, they’ll accuse you of lying. It’s a classic deflection tactic designed to shift the blame and avoid taking responsibility for their own shortcomings.
Triangulation
They’ll bring in a third party to create drama and make you feel jealous or insecure. It could be an ex, a friend, or even a complete stranger. They’ll use this person as a pawn to manipulate your emotions and reaffirm their own desirability.
Love bombing
Just when you think they’ve hit rock bottom, they’ll shower you with affection, compliments, and promises of a better future. It’s a manipulative tactic designed to suck you back into their web of control. They’ll make you believe they’ve changed, only to revert to their old ways once they feel secure.
Hoovering
They’ll try to lure you back into the relationship with promises, apologies, or even threats. They’ll play on your emotions, reminding you of the good times and making you question your decision to leave. It’s a desperate attempt to regain control and avoid facing their own flaws.
Victim playing
They’ll exaggerate their struggles, play the victim card, and seek sympathy from anyone who will listen. It’s a way to avoid taking responsibility for their actions and to garner attention and support. They’ll twist the narrative to make themselves look like the injured party.
Raging and tantrums
They’ll explode with anger, aggression, and even violence when their ego is threatened. It’s a terrifying display of their lack of emotional control and a way to intimidate and silence you. They’ll make you walk on eggshells, afraid to say or do anything that might set them off.
Passive-aggression
They’ll express their anger indirectly through sarcasm, backhanded compliments, and subtle digs. It’s a sneaky way to get under your skin and make you feel bad without explicitly stating their grievances. They’ll leave you feeling confused and frustrated.
Stonewalling
They’ll refuse to communicate or engage in any meaningful discussion. It’s a way to shut you down, avoid conflict, and maintain control. They’ll leave you feeling unheard, dismissed, and powerless.
Threats and ultimatums
Source: Unsplash They’ll use threats and ultimatums to get their way. It could be threats of self-harm, threats to leave the relationship, or threats to expose your secrets. It’s a way to manipulate you into submission and maintain their power over you.
Discrediting your feelings
Source: Unsplash They’ll dismiss your emotions, tell you the you’re overreacting, or even accuse you of being “crazy.” It’s a way to invalidate your experience and make you question your own sanity. They want you to doubt yourself and believe their version of reality.
Comparing you to other people (and not in a flattering way)
Source: Unsplash They’ll compare you to exes, friends, or even strangers to make you feel inadequate. It’s a way to belittle you and boost their own ego. They’ll make you believe you’re not good enough and that they could easily replace you.
Sabotaging your success
They’ll try to undermine your achievements, goals, and dreams. It’s a way to keep you from outshining them or becoming independent. They’ll discourage you, belittle your accomplishments, and even sabotage your efforts to succeed.
Emotional blackmail
They’ll use guilt, shame, and fear to manipulate you into doing what they want. They’ll play on your empathy and sense of responsibility, making you feel obligated to fulfil their demands. It’s a way to control you and keep you trapped in the relationship.
