Not every marriage lasts, but when things fall apart in under a year, it’s usually not just bad luck.
Chances are, there were much deeper issues that either went unnoticed or weren’t taken seriously way before they ever exchanged vows. The first year of marriage is a huge adjustment, and if certain problems aren’t dealt with early on, they can spiral quickly. Some marriages crumble under pressure, while others break apart because one or both people realise they made a huge mistake. If these things are happening, chances are, divorce will be on the table sooner rather than later.
1. Thinking marriage will magically fix existing problems
Some couples go into marriage believing that getting married will solve their issues, whether it’s trust problems, lack of communication, or constant fights. But marriage isn’t a fresh start if those issues are just ignored; if anything, it makes them worse. When couples realise their problems didn’t disappear after saying “I do,” disappointment sets in fast. Marriage isn’t a cure, though; it’s a magnifying glass. Any cracks that existed before will only get bigger if they aren’t properly addressed. Expecting marriage to fix things instead of actively working on them is one of the fastest ways to reach a breaking point.
2. Not setting boundaries with family and friends
Outside influence can destroy a marriage, especially when one partner doesn’t know how to set boundaries. If parents, siblings, or friends are constantly interfering — whether it’s giving unwanted opinions, creating drama, or overstepping — it can lead to serious resentment. Marriage means prioritising your partner, and if one person always sides with their family or lets their friends dictate their decisions, it can make their spouse feel like they don’t matter. If boundaries aren’t set early, the tension can build quickly.
3. Keeping financial secrets
Money issues are one of the biggest reasons marriages fail, and when financial secrets come into play, trust gets broken fast. Whether it’s hidden debt, reckless spending, or secret bank accounts, financial dishonesty can make a partner feel completely betrayed. It’s not about how much money a couple has; it’s about how honest they are about it. If one person feels like they’ve been lied to or forced into a financial mess they didn’t agree to, the resentment can destroy the relationship before it even gets off the ground.
4. Taking each other for granted
It’s easy to assume that love alone is enough, but when effort starts to fade early in a marriage, it can feel like one or both partners just stopped trying. When appreciation disappears, so does the connection that made the relationship strong in the first place. People want to feel valued, and if one person starts feeling neglected — whether emotionally, physically, or in everyday gestures — it creates distance. No one wants to feel like they’re just part of the furniture in their own marriage.
5. Moving in together for the first time after marriage
For couples who never lived together before marriage, the adjustment can be overwhelming. Learning how to share space, deal with habits, and navigate daily responsibilities together is a huge shift, and if expectations aren’t clear, tensions can rise fast. Things that seemed small while dating — messy habits, different routines, personal space needs — suddenly feel much bigger when they’re happening 24/7. Without strong communication and compromise, this change can be a major dealbreaker.
6. Constantly criticising each other
There’s a difference between giving constructive feedback and making your partner feel like they’re never good enough. If one or both partners are always nitpicking, pointing out flaws, or making their spouse feel small, it can destroy confidence and connection fast. No one wants to feel like they’re failing in their own marriage. If love turns into a cycle of complaints, corrections, and negativity, it won’t take long before someone starts questioning if they even want to stay.
7. Different expectations about married life
Some people go into marriage expecting life to stay exactly the same, while others see it as a whole new chapter with major changes. If both people aren’t on the same page, it can lead to disappointment and resentment. Whether it’s expectations about spending time together, social life, career goals, or even roles in the household, mismatched visions of marriage can make both people feel like they signed up for something completely different than what they got.
8. Major lifestyle differences
Marriage is about compromise, but some lifestyle differences are too big to ignore. If one person is highly ambitious and career-driven while the other prefers a laid-back, go-with-the-flow lifestyle, it can create a lot of frustration. Differences in spending habits, socialising, or even daily routines can make it feel like a couple is constantly pulling in opposite directions. If they can’t find a middle ground, these issues can become too exhausting to manage.
9. Lack of intimacy, both physical and emotional
Physical connection isn’t everything in a marriage, but when it fades too soon, it can be a sign of a deeper issue. If affection, intimacy, or even basic emotional closeness starts disappearing in the first year, it can create a serious disconnect. When one or both partners feel undesired or emotionally distant, frustration builds quickly. Without effort to reconnect, this can lead to resentment, loneliness, and eventually, a marriage that feels empty.
10. Unresolved baggage from the past
Old wounds don’t magically disappear just because someone gets married. If one or both partners have unresolved trauma, past relationship issues, or emotional baggage that hasn’t been dealt with, it can start affecting the marriage quickly. Past hurts often show up in new ways, whether it’s trust issues, emotional walls, or unhealthy patterns of communication. If these aren’t worked through, they can quietly destroy the foundation of the marriage.
11. One partner refusing to compromise
Marriage only works when both people are willing to meet in the middle, and if one person refuses to compromise, resentment builds fast. Whether it’s about household responsibilities, financial decisions, or daily routines, stubbornness can make marriage feel like a battle. If one person always feels like they’re the only one adjusting, it won’t take long for them to feel like they’re in a one-sided partnership. A marriage without balance won’t last long.
12. Lack of communication about big decisions
One of the biggest mistakes couples make is assuming they’re on the same page about everything without actually talking about it. Major life choices — kids, career moves, finances — can become huge points of tension if they aren’t discussed early. If a couple realises too late that they want completely different things, it can feel like the marriage is built on mismatched foundations. Without honest conversations, these disagreements can become impossible to fix.
13. Trust issues, whether big or small
Even the smallest breaches of trust can create cracks in a new marriage. Whether it’s secrecy about finances, lying about small things, or major betrayals, trust is one of the hardest things to rebuild once it’s broken. Without trust, a marriage quickly becomes filled with suspicion, resentment, and emotional distance. When doubts creep in early, they can be hard to shake.
14. Constant comparisons to other relationships
It’s easy to fall into the trap of comparing your marriage to other people, especially in the age of social media. But if one or both partners constantly feel like their relationship doesn’t measure up, it can lead to frustration and insecurity. Every marriage is different, and expecting yours to look like someone else’s can set unrealistic expectations. If those comparisons create dissatisfaction, it can push a couple apart rather than bring them closer.
15. One person feeling like they’ve lost their independence
Marriage is about partnership, but when one person starts feeling like they’ve lost their sense of self, resentment can build fast. If one partner feels like they’ve had to give up their hobbies, friendships, or personal space, it can make them question whether marriage was the right choice. Feeling trapped, especially early on, can lead to frustration and even a desire to escape the relationship. Healthy marriages allow both people to maintain their individuality while growing together. If one person feels like they’ve lost themselves in the process, it can lead to an identity crisis that puts strain on the relationship.
16. Rushing into marriage without truly knowing each other
Some couples get caught up in the excitement of engagement and wedding planning without fully understanding who they’re marrying. When the honeymoon phase fades and real life sets in, they might realise they rushed into a commitment with someone they don’t truly align with. Differences that seemed small before can suddenly feel impossible to ignore. Marrying too quickly can lead to regret when reality hits, especially if deep compatibility issues start surfacing. If a couple realises too late that they weren’t actually ready for marriage, the relationship can unravel before it even gets a chance to grow.
