There’s nothing like a passive-aggressive person who uses every underhanded method possible to get a rise out of you.
Sure, they could just act like mature adults and communicate directly, but that would be too easy. Instead, they drop hints, make subtle remarks, and do little things to hopefully get you to take their bait. Here are just some of the tricks they pull to lure you into drama. If you notice them, don’t give in!
1. They give you the silent treatment.
Instead of addressing what’s bothering them, they stop talking altogether, hoping you’ll notice and feel uncomfortable. The silence is their way of saying, “I’m upset,” without actually having to say it. It’s a not-so-subtle invitation for you to ask what’s wrong, so they can say, “Nothing.”
2. They agree… but not really.
Passive-aggressive people are pros at pretending to agree while secretly disagreeing. They might say, “Sure, whatever you want,” but their tone or body language screams resentment. It’s their way of letting you take the lead, so they can subtly blame you if things don’t go well.
3. They leave tasks half-done on purpose.
If they’ve been assigned a job they don’t want to do, they’ll “accidentally” do it poorly or leave it unfinished. It’s their way of protesting without directly refusing, all while making you feel like you’re nagging if you bring it up.
4. They make sarcastic comments disguised as jokes.
The classic passive-aggressive move: a sarcastic remark followed by, “I’m just kidding!” They’ll say something hurtful but play it off as humour to avoid responsibility. It leaves you wondering if they’re joking or just too scared to admit how they really feel.
5. They “forget” to do things you’ve asked.
For passive-aggressive people, “forgetting” is a convenient way to avoid doing something they didn’t want to do in the first place. It’s a sneaky way of saying no without actually refusing. The frustration builds when it keeps happening, and they insist it’s not intentional.
6. They give backhanded compliments.
“Wow, you’re brave for wearing that!” or “Not everyone could pull that off, but good for you.” These so-called compliments have a sting in their tail, leaving you wondering if you should feel flattered or insulted. It’s their way of delivering criticism without owning up to it.
7. They play the victim card.
Rather than addressing the issue directly, they position themselves as the one who’s been wronged. Statements like, “It’s fine—I didn’t expect you to think about me anyway,” are designed to make you feel guilty. It’s a way of shifting the focus to their hurt feelings without having to explain why they’re upset.
8. They intentionally procrastinate.
When they’re unhappy with a task, they’ll drag their feet and take forever to get it done. It’s a quiet protest designed to frustrate you, especially if you’re depending on them. They’ll claim they’re just “busy” or “needed more time” if confronted.
9. They use exaggerated politeness.
When they’re feeling annoyed, they might crank up the politeness to a level that feels almost fake. Overly cheerful responses like, “Oh, of course, I’d LOVE to do that for you,” are often dripping with sarcasm. It’s a way to express their irritation while keeping up appearances.
10. They make you guess what’s wrong.
Instead of telling you what’s bothering them, they’ll sigh loudly or act visibly annoyed until you ask, “Is something wrong?” Even then, they might insist, “No, I’m fine,” leaving you to play detective. Their goal is to make you work for the answer without them having to admit what’s actually on their mind.
11. They throw subtle digs during group settings.
Passive-aggressive people often wait until there’s an audience to say something mildly embarrassing or critical about you. It’s just subtle enough to pass as harmless, but you know it’s not. They get the satisfaction of poking at you without being called out for it.
12. They refuse to take responsibility.
If they’ve done something wrong, they’ll find a way to make it someone else’s fault. “Well, I only did that because you told me to,” or “I didn’t realise it was that important” are classic lines. They avoid accountability while making you question if you’re the unreasonable one.
13. They use guilt trips.
“Don’t worry about me; I’ll figure it out,” or “I guess I’ll just handle it myself” are typical guilt-inducing phrases. They want you to feel bad enough to step in and fix things, all while acting like they never asked for your help.
14. They withhold affection or support.
When upset, they might pull back emotionally, offering less affection, encouragement, or attention. This withdrawal forces you to notice something’s off without them having to say anything. It’s a way of communicating their displeasure while making you feel like the one at fault.
15. They give you vague answers.
When you ask them what they want or need, they’ll respond with something unhelpful like, “Whatever,” or “I don’t care.” These vague replies leave you frustrated and unsure of how to move forward. They want you to guess so they can criticise your choice later.
16. They act overly dramatic about small issues.
Passive-aggressive people can blow minor inconveniences out of proportion to make a point. A slight delay or forgotten detail might turn into a full-blown sigh-fest or exaggerated complaints. The drama is designed to draw attention and make you feel like you’ve done something wrong.
