Not everyone feels comfortable sharing their true feelings in mixed company.
Sometimes, people may feel uncomfortable around you but try to hide it, either out of politeness or to avoid confrontation. However, recognising the signs that you’re making someone feel a bit awkward in your presence can draw attention to some potentially problematic behaviours you might be guilty of, as well as helping you improve your relationships with the people around you.
1. They maintain excessive physical distance.
Source: Unsplash If someone consistently positions themselves farther away from you than is typical in social situations, it might point to discomfort. Maybe they choose a seat across the room or take a step back during conversations to keep their distance. Pay attention to how they position themselves relative to other people in the group (if you’re in a group, that is) as well.
2. Their smile doesn’t reach their eyes.
A genuine smile involves the muscles around the eyes, creating crow’s feet. If someone’s smile seems forced or only involves their mouth, it might be a polite facade masking discomfort. This ‘fake’ smile is often a subconscious attempt to appear friendly while concealing true feelings.
3. They constantly check their phone or watch.
Constantly glancing at devices can be a sign that someone is seeking an escape or distraction from the current interaction. While it’s common to check phones occasionally, excessive checking might point to a desire to avoid engaging fully in the conversation with you.
4. Their body is angled away from you.
Even if someone is facing you during a conversation, observe their feet and torso. If these are consistently pointed away from you, it could suggest a subconscious desire to leave the interaction. This misalignment between face and body often reveals hidden discomfort.
5. They use objects as barriers.
Source: Unsplash Notice if the person always puts objects between you and them. This could be a bag, a coffee cup, or even crossing their arms. These actions create a physical barrier that can be their way of keeping an emotional or psychological distance, too.
6. Their responses become increasingly brief.
Source: Unsplash If someone’s replies to you gradually become shorter and less engaged, it might signal growing discomfort. Watch for a shift from detailed responses to simple ‘yes’ or ‘no’ answers, which could be their way of conveying that they want to end the conversation.
7. They avoid direct eye contact.
Source: Unsplash While some cultures and individuals naturally make less eye contact, a noticeable decrease or complete avoidance can suggest unease. If someone regularly looks away, at the floor, or past you while speaking, they might be feeling uncomfortable.
8. Their laughter sounds forced or awkward.
Source: Unsplash Genuine laughter is spontaneous and relaxed. If someone’s laughter seems strained, comes at inappropriate moments, or sounds more like a brief exhale than a true laugh, it could be a sign of nervousness or discomfort in your presence.
9. They fidget excessively.
Source: Unsplash Nervous energy often manifests physically. Excessive fidgeting, such as playing with jewellery, adjusting clothing, or tapping fingers, can point to hidden anxiety or discomfort. While some fidgeting is normal, an increase in these behaviours around you specifically is noteworthy.
10. They mirror your body language with a delay.
Source: Unsplash In comfortable interactions, people often unconsciously mirror each other’s postures. If someone copies your movements but with a noticeable delay, it might be a conscious effort to appear engaged while actually feeling uncomfortable.
11. Their voice pitch changes.
Source: Unsplash Stress can affect vocal cords and cause changes in voice pitch. If you notice someone’s voice becoming higher or lower when speaking to you compared to other people, it could mean there’s some tension or discomfort there.
12. They tend to agree without elaborating.
Source: Unsplash Constant agreement without adding to the conversation can be a strategy to avoid deeper engagement. If someone consistently responds with phrases like “You’re right” or “I agree” without further comment, they might be trying to end the interaction politely.
13. They avoid physical contact.
Source: Unsplash In cultures where casual touch is common, someone who consistently avoids handshakes, pats on the back, or other forms of appropriate physical contact might be signalling discomfort. They might step back if you move closer or flinch slightly at accidental touches.
14. Their facial expressions briefly reveal discomfort.
Watch for micro-expressions, fleeting facial movements that reveal true emotions. A quick grimace, eye roll, or frown that’s quickly replaced by a neutral expression can mean that they have hidden feelings of discomfort or annoyance.
15. They use humour to deflect serious topics.
While humour is often positive in interactions, consistently using jokes to avoid serious or personal conversations can be a defence mechanism. If someone always steers the conversation to lighter topics when you try to engage more deeply, they might be uncomfortable with the direction of the talk.
16. They regularly mention being busy or having other commitments.
If someone often brings up their busy schedule or other engagements, especially when you suggest future interactions, it might be a polite way of creating distance. This behaviour could point to a desire to limit time spent with you due to underlying discomfort.
