If you’ve ever dealt with a narcissist, you know how they can twist words into weapons.
Some of the things they say might sound innocent at first, but they’re actually calculated to slowly eat away at your confidence. Here’s what to watch for when someone’s trying to break down your self-worth. When you hear them, roll your eyes and walk away — don’t take them to heart!
1. “You’re too sensitive to handle feedback.”
This line pops up whenever you react to their harsh comments or criticism. They’re not actually giving feedback — they’re just being mean. When you get upset, they use this phrase to make you doubt your own emotions. They’ll bring up past examples of your “sensitivity” to prove their point. The goal is to train you to accept their cruelty without complaint.
2. “No one else seems to have a problem with me.”
They drop this bomb when you try to address their behaviour. It’s meant to make you feel like the odd one out. They’ll mention how well they get along with everyone else at work or with other friends. They want you questioning your own judgment and feeling isolated. The message is clear — you’re the problem, not them.
3. “You’re just not trying hard enough.”
Nothing you do ever meets their standards. They move the goalposts every time you come close. When you’re exhausted from trying to please them, they hit you with this line. They’ll point out how easy it is for everyone else to do what you can’t. The message sinks in deeper each time — your best efforts will never be good enough.
4. “I’m just trying to help you improve.”
Their constant criticism gets repackaged as “concern”. Every “suggestion” cuts at your confidence. They keep track of your flaws like they’re collecting evidence. The help they claim to offer always leaves you feeling worse. Each helpful hint reminds you that you’re not measuring up to their standards.
5. “You must be remembering it wrong.”
They rewrite history to make you doubt your own memory. Clear conversations become fuzzy when they twist the details. They insist you’re confused about what really happened. Your certainty crumbles a little more with each denial. Soon you’re second-guessing even your clearest memories.
6. “I never said that.”
Even when you remember their words exactly, they’ll deny everything. They’ll look you straight in the eye and rewrite the conversation. You start doubting conversations that just happened yesterday. The more confident you are about what they said, the more strongly they deny it. Your reality gets shakier with each denial.
7. “You’re lucky I put up with you.”
This gem comes out when you try setting boundaries or expressing needs. They act like dealing with you is some huge burden they nobly bear. They remind you of all your supposed flaws and shortcomings. The underlying threat is clear — nobody else would tolerate you. Your gratitude should outweigh any complaints.
8. “Stop making everything about you.”
They save this for moments when you bring up your feelings or needs. Your basic emotional needs get labelled as attention-seeking. They use this line to shut down any conversation about your experiences. The irony of them saying this while constantly centring themselves is lost on them. Your needs become shameful things to hide.
9. “You’re getting emotional again.”
This dismissal comes when you show any feeling they don’t like. Having normal reactions gets painted as hysteria. They say this with a mix of disgust and superiority. Your emotions become evidence of your weakness. The shame of being “emotional” makes you hide your feelings next time.
10. “I guess I’m just a terrible person then.”
They pull this dramatic line when facing any criticism. Your valid concerns turn into a pity party about their feelings. You end up comforting them instead of addressing the real issue. The original problem gets buried under their theatrical self-deprecation. Next time you’ll think twice before bringing up problems.
11. “You’re overreacting like always.”
Your natural responses to their behaviour get labelled as excessive. They roll their eyes when you express hurt or anger. Past reactions get brought up as proof of your instability. Your emotional responses become something to apologise for. The phrase makes you doubt your own reactions to mistreatment.
12. “I’m not arguing about this again.”
They use this to shut down any conversation they don’t want to have. Your concerns get dismissed as repeated drama. They act tired of topics they’ve never properly addressed. Important issues remain unresolved because they refuse to engage. Your need for resolution gets painted as needless drama.
13. “Nobody will believe you anyway.”
This threat comes when you mention telling other people about their behaviour. They remind you how charming they seem to everyone else. Their public image becomes a weapon against you. The isolation grows as they highlight how alone you are. Your silence feels like the safer choice.
14. “You’re acting crazy right now.”
They pull this out when you catch them in lies or bad behaviour. Your legitimate reactions get painted as mental instability. They say it with just enough concern to sound caring. The word “crazy” becomes their go-to defence against accountability. Your grip on reality weakens each time they use it.
15. “You’ll never find better than me.”
This shows up when you start showing signs of independence. They list reasons why you’re lucky to have them, and your flaws become reasons you should be grateful. They plant seeds of doubt about your worth to other people. The fear of being alone keeps you accepting their treatment.
16. “Look what you made me do.”
Their actions become your fault through twisted logic. They never take responsibility for their choices. Their behaviour gets blamed on your supposed provocations. You start walking on eggshells to avoid “causing” their outbursts. The guilt they pile on makes you accept blame for their actions.
