Arrogant people don’t care who they offend by the way they act and things they say — in their eyes, it’s their right.
It’s tempting to stoop to their level and really give them a piece of your mind, but you’re unlikely to get anywhere good doing that — it’ll just go on one ear and out the other. Instead of lowering yourself in any way, here’s how to put an arrogant person in their place and make it clear that in your eyes, they’re no better than you or anyone else. In fact, they’re likely worse!
1. Remind them that experience beats ego.
Saying something like, “That’s interesting—what’s your hands-on experience with this?” subtly shifts the conversation from theory to practise. You’re not trying to undermine them; you’re pointing out the gap between talking about something and actually doing it. Arrogant people often back off when they’re asked to provide specific examples from their own experience, instead of just spouting general ideas they’ve picked up along the way.
2. Point out that wisdom includes listening.
A simple “I’d love to hear your thoughts after I finish sharing mine” is a polite yet firm reminder that conversations are two-way streets. It highlights their tendency to interrupt while gently showing them how mature conversations work. When you say it with genuine interest, rather than sarcasm, it sets a clear example of real confidence—letting them know you’re comfortable enough to speak without needing to dominate the conversation.
3. Acknowledge their perspective while widening it.
Try something like, “That’s one way to look at it—I’ve found several approaches that work well,” which opens up the discussion without directly confronting them. This approach challenges their assumption that they have all the answers while giving you a chance to share your own experiences. It’s a soft challenge that suggests there are multiple ways to approach a situation, without undermining their point completely.
4. Politely question their certainty.
Asking, “What makes you so sure about that?” can make them pause and reconsider whether their confidence is really backed by facts. This simple, open-ended question invites them to think deeper without being aggressive. It forces them to examine their assumptions, and when delivered with genuine curiosity, it’s hard to brush off.
5. Draw attention to their patterns.
“I’ve noticed you often speak in absolutes—has that always been your approach?” This subtly points out their habit of speaking in extremes without directly attacking them. It can make them more aware of their communication style and possibly reflect on why they use such definitive language. Framing it as an observation makes it harder to dismiss than a blunt criticism.
6. Bring other people into the conversation.
Try, “Let’s hear what everyone else thinks about this.” This helps dilute their monopoly on the conversation and invites other perspectives into the mix. It’s a subtle way of showing them that they’re not the only expert in the room and that other opinions are valuable, too. It also sets a tone of leadership by demonstrating that you’re confident enough to share the floor.
7. Ask for clarification.
If their explanation is all over the place, asking, “Could you explain that in simpler terms?” challenges them to make their point clearer without hiding behind jargon or complex language. It’s a simple request that forces them to prove they actually understand what they’re talking about. This approach works because it positions you as someone looking for understanding, not just looking for a fight.
8. Redirect their focus to the facts.
Try asking, “Do you have any data to support that conclusion?” This moves the conversation from opinion to evidence, forcing them to back up their claims. It separates the true experts from those who just talk a big game. When someone is making bold statements without evidence, this question helps keep the conversation grounded and professional.
9. Acknowledge their confidence constructively.
A phrase like, “Your conviction is impressive—I hope you’re equally open to new information” does two things: it acknowledges their confidence while gently suggesting they stay open-minded. It’s a way to recognise their strong opinions without being intimidated, while also reminding them that true confidence includes a willingness to learn and adapt. It’s a tough one for them to argue with, without sounding like they’re closed off to new ideas.
10. Create space for doubt.
Ask, “What would make you change your mind about this?” This forces them to consider whether they’re capable of seeing other points of view. Arrogant people rarely take time to consider the limitations of their own thinking, and this question catches them off guard. Their response—if they have one—can tell you a lot about their willingness to grow or their stubbornness.
11. Turn their criticism into solutions.
Instead of engaging with their complaints, say, “Since you’ve identified the problem, what solutions would you suggest?” This redirects their energy from just pointing out flaws to actually contributing something useful. It’s particularly effective when dealing with someone who enjoys tearing people down but doesn’t know how to offer constructive alternatives.
12. Remind them of team effort.
If they’re taking all the credit, simply say, “Yes, the team worked really hard to make that happen.” This gently shifts the focus from individual boasting to team effort. It’s an effective way to remind them that success doesn’t happen alone, but it also keeps the tone positive. It’s useful when someone tries to claim credit for a group effort, without making a big deal of it.
13. Emphasise that learning is meant to be ongoing.
Saying, “I’m still learning new things about this every day—what’s your experience?” shows humility and invites a more genuine dialogue. It demonstrates that even experts are constantly learning and growing, which makes it harder for them to maintain a know-it-all attitude. It opens the door for a more honest and less egotistical conversation.
14. Acknowledge the value of experience.
A statement like, “That reminds me of what I used to think when I first started” subtly points out that wisdom often comes with time and experience. It offers a humble nod to the idea that you’ve been where they are and have learned over time. This kind of response shows that experience, not just arrogance, brings true understanding.
15. Invite them to do a bit of reflection.
Asking, “How did you develop such certainty about this?” encourages them to consider where their confidence comes from. It makes them examine whether their strong beliefs are based on true expertise or just assumptions. This question can lead to a more nuanced conversation and show them that it’s okay to question even their own assumptions.
16. Maintain your own boundaries.
Finally, saying something like, “I have a different approach that works well for me,” shows quiet confidence. You don’t need to compete with their arrogance or prove yourself. This response makes it clear that you don’t need validation from them to know that your way works just as well, if not better. It’s a subtle but firm way to assert your own expertise without getting caught up in their need for attention.
