Manners are in short supply these days, which is a real shame.
It costs nothing to be kind and considerate, but these things can pay dividends not only in earning you respect and admiration from the people around you, but also in terms of keeping the general vibe positive. However, if you relate to any of the following, your politeness needs a bit of work.
1. You consistently interrupt people mid-sentence.
Cutting people off shows a lack of respect for other people’s thoughts and opinions. When you habitually interject before someone has finished their point, you’re essentially saying that what you have to say is more important than what they’re sharing. This behaviour can be particularly grating in professional settings, where it can hamper productive discussions and brainstorming sessions. Listen more and wait for natural pauses in conversation before contributing your thoughts.
2. You’re always on your phone when you’re with other people.
Constantly checking your phone or scrolling through social media whilst you’re in the company of other people is the height of rudeness. It sends a clear message that you’re not fully present or engaged in the current interaction. It’s especially offensive during meals or important conversations. Make a conscious effort to put your phone away and give your full attention to the people you’re with. If you’re expecting an urgent call or message, politely explain the situation beforehand.
3. You never say “please” or “thank you”.
These simple phrases are the very basis of polite communication, yet some people seem to have forgotten them entirely. Not expressing gratitude or being courteous can make you appear entitled and inconsiderate. Whether you’re asking a colleague for help or receiving service at a restaurant, using “please” and “thank you” goes a long way in having more positive interactions. Make it a habit to incorporate these words into your daily vocabulary, and you’ll likely notice a marked improvement in how people respond to you.
4. You dominate every conversation without letting anyone else speak.
Conversation is meant to be a two-way street, but some people treat it like a one-man show. If you find yourself monopolising discussions, talking over people, or steering every topic back to yourself, you might be the least polite person in the room. It’s exhausting for those around you and may lead to people avoiding interactions with you altogether. Who could blame them?
5. You always arrive late without warning or apology.
Punctuality is a sign of respect for other people’s time and schedules. Consistently showing up late to meetings, social gatherings, or appointments without giving notice or expressing remorse is incredibly rude and inconsiderate. It suggests that you value your time more than other people’s and can screw up carefully planned events. If you struggle with timekeeping, set reminders or alarms to help you stay on track. It’s really not that hard.
6. You ignore personal space boundaries.
Everyone has different comfort levels when it comes to physical proximity, but there are generally accepted norms for personal space. If you find yourself standing too close to people, touching them without their consent, or invading their workspace, you’re likely making them uncomfortable. This can be particularly problematic in professional environments or crowded public spaces. Be mindful of maintaining an appropriate distance, and always ask before touching someone, even if it’s just a friendly pat on the shoulder.
7. You talk about people behind their backs, and not in a nice way.
Gossiping about or badmouthing people when they’re not present is not only impolite but also destructive to relationships and reputations. It creates an atmosphere of distrust and negativity that can poison social and professional environments. If you find yourself frequently participating in or initiating these kinds of conversations, it’s time to reassess your behaviour. If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.
8. You neglect basic hygiene and grooming.
While personal appearance is subjective, maintaining basic hygiene is a fundamental aspect of politeness in social settings. Neglecting to shower regularly, wearing unclean clothes, or having poor oral hygiene can be off-putting and disrespectful to those around you. It suggests a lack of consideration for how your presence affects other people. This doesn’t mean you need to dress formally at all times, but ensuring you’re clean and presentable is a basic courtesy.
9. You refuse to acknowledge when you’re wrong.
Stubbornly clinging to incorrect information or refusing to admit mistakes is immature and impolite. It shows a lack of humility and an unwillingness to learn from other people. This trait can be particularly frustrating in workplace settings, where it can interfere with problem-solving and team dynamics. Instead of doubling down when challenged, try to approach disagreements with an open mind.
10. You habitually use offensive language without regard for your audience.
While casual swearing might be acceptable among close friends, using profanity or offensive terms in mixed company is generally considered impolite. This includes using slurs, derogatory language, or excessive cursing in professional or formal settings. It’s important to be aware of your audience and adjust your language accordingly.
11. You constantly one-up people in conversation.
Do you find yourself always trying to top other people’s stories or experiences? This behaviour, often referred to as “one-upmanship”, is a guaranteed way to alienate people and come across as impolite. It suggests that you’re more interested in proving your superiority than engaging in genuine conversation.
12. You make a habit of commenting on people’s appearance uninvited.
Offering unsolicited opinions on someone’s weight, clothing choices, or general appearance is rarely well-received. Even if you believe you’re being complimentary, these comments can make people feel uncomfortable or self-conscious. This behaviour is particularly problematic in professional settings, where it can be seen as harassment. Unless someone specifically asks for your opinion, it’s best to keep thoughts about other people’s appearances to yourself. Why do you even care so much in the first place?
13. You regularly cancel plans at the last minute.
While emergencies happen, consistently backing out of commitments at the eleventh hour is disrespectful to people’s time and efforts. This behaviour can be especially frustrating if people have made special arrangements to accommodate you. It sends the message that your time is more valuable than theirs, and that you don’t value the relationship enough to honour your commitments.
14. You disregard other people’s personal belongings.
Respecting people’s property is a basic tenet of politeness. If you regularly borrow items without asking, return things in poor condition, or carelessly handle other people’s belongings, you’re likely the least polite person in the room. This extends to shared spaces as well — leaving communal areas messy or failing to clean up after yourself in the office kitchen, for instance. Always ask before using something that doesn’t belong to you, treat borrowed items with care, and be mindful of how your actions impact shared spaces.
15. You consistently speak over or dismiss quieter people.
In group settings, it’s easy for louder or more assertive personalities to dominate. However, if you find yourself always talking over softer-spoken people or dismissing their contributions, you’re exhibiting impolite behaviour. This makes these individuals feel undervalued and robs the group of potentially valuable insights. Make a conscious effort to create space for everyone to contribute.
16. You refuse to adapt to cultural norms when visiting other countries.
When travelling abroad, it’s crucial to respect and adapt to local customs and etiquette. If you stubbornly adhere to your own cultural norms without regard for local sensitivities, you’re likely coming across as impolite or even offensive. This could include ignoring dress codes, speaking loudly in quiet spaces, or disregarding dining etiquette. Before visiting a new country, take some time to research basic cultural norms and customs. Being willing to modify your behaviour out of respect for local traditions demonstrates politeness and cultural sensitivity.
