It’s one thing sharing your thoughts, feelings, and opinions with people you know (and who want them).
However, it’s an entirely other thing to go spouting off 24/7 about things you know nothing about and that have nothing to do with you. I’m not here to tell you to bottle everything up, but rather to encourage a bit of self-awareness and reflection — you know, the old adage about thinking before you speak. If you relate to any of the following signs, you talk way too much and need to learn the power of silence.
1. You’re always interrupting or talking over people.
You’re always eager to jump in with your two cents, even if it means cutting off your friends or colleagues mid-sentence. It’s rude, disrespectful, and makes it clear you think your words are more important than theirs. Pipe down and let other people finish their thoughts before butting in. Interrupting only proves you’re not really listening, you’re just waiting for your turn to speak.
2. You dominate conversations and make them all about you.
No matter the topic, you always steer the conversation back to yourself. You go on and on about your own experiences, opinions, and problems, leaving no room for anyone else to contribute. It’s not all about you, mate. Show some interest in what other people have to say and give them a chance to share their own stories. Conversation should be a two-way street, not a bloody monologue.
3. You overshare your personal information to anyone who will listen.
You have no filter when it comes to sharing intimate, embarrassing, or just plain TMI details about your life. Your mates don’t need to hear about your bodily functions, bedroom antics, or family drama. Keep some things to yourself, or at least save the gory details for your closest confidants. Oversharing makes people uncomfortable and erodes their respect for you.
4. You gossip and spread rumours.
You’re always dishing the dirt on someone, whether it’s a mutual friend, a co-worker, or a celebrity. Gossiping may feel like harmless fun, but it’s hurtful and untrustworthy. If you’re constantly talking behind people’s backs, your mates will wonder what you say about them when they’re not around. Stick to more upbeat topics instead of trying to tear people down because you’re insecure.
5. You give a lot of unsolicited advice, much to everyone’s chagrin.
Whenever someone shares a problem, you’re quick to jump in with your sage wisdom and advice, even if they didn’t ask for it. While your intentions may be good, unsolicited advice often comes across as condescending and presumptuous. Unless someone specifically requests your input, it’s best to just listen and offer support. Let them figure things out on their own unless they want your help.
6. You’re constantly complaining about anything and everything.
Every conversation with you turns into a whinging session about your job, your partner, your health, or the bloody weather. Constant complaining is tedious and draining for those around you. While it’s fine to vent occasionally, try to balance the negative with some positive. Focus on solutions instead of just wallowing in your problems, and don’t treat your mates like unpaid therapists.
7. You brag and always need to one-up people.
Source: Pexels No matter what someone else has done or achieved, you’ve always done it better, faster, or first. Bragging and one-upping is a guaranteed way to alienate people and come across as insecure and competitive. Learn to be genuinely happy for other people without needing to top them. A simple “congratulations” or “well done” goes a lot further than “that’s nothing, let me tell you about the time I…”
8. You reveal people’s secrets and betray confidences.
Source: Unsplash When someone trusts you with a secret or sensitive information, you just can’t help blabbing to everyone you know. Breaking confidences is a massive betrayal of trust and shows you can’t be relied upon. If someone asks you to keep something to yourself, keep your bloody trap shut. Loose lips sink ships and ruin friendships.
9. You make really inappropriate comments.
You think you’re being edgy, funny, or provocative, but your off-colour jokes and remarks just make people cringe. Offensive, sexist, racist, or otherwise inappropriate comments have no place in polite conversation. Read the room and consider your audience before saying something controversial. If you have to ask yourself “too soon?” or “too far?” then err on the side of caution and keep it to yourself.
10. You talk during films and shows.
You provide a running commentary throughout movies, shows, and performances, even when nobody asked for it. Whether it’s predicting plot twists, critiquing the acting, or just cracking jokes, your constant chatter ruins the experience for everyone else. Shut your gob and let people enjoy the entertainment in peace. Save the discussion for afterwards, or keep your comments to yourself.
11. You don’t read social cues.
People are giving you clear signals that they’re bored, annoyed, or uncomfortable, but you blithely carry on chattering away. Failing to read social cues is a major faux pas and shows a lack of emotional intelligence. Pay attention to body language, facial expressions, and tone of voice. If people are edging away, checking their phones, or giving clipped replies, take the hint and wrap it up.
12. You talk about yourself incessantly.
Every topic somehow comes back to you, your experiences, your opinions, and your problems. You treat conversations like a one-sided interview where you’re the star. Newsflash: nobody finds you as fascinating as you find yourself. Show genuine interest in other people and make an effort to ask questions and keep the focus on them sometimes. The world doesn’t revolve around you.
13. You’re a know-it-all.
No matter the subject, you always position yourself as the expert and final authority. You’re more concerned with proving how clever you are than having a genuine discussion. Know-it-alls are exhausting and alienating. It’s okay not to have all the answers sometimes. Be open to learning from other people and admitting when you’re wrong or uncertain. Intellectual humility is a virtue.
14. You talk just to fill the silence.
Source: Unsplash The moment there’s a lull in conversation, you rush to fill it with inane chatter about the weather, reality TV, or what you had for lunch. Silence makes you uncomfortable, so you’ll say anything to avoid it. But constant babble is even more uncomfortable than the occasional awkward pause. Embrace the quiet and give yourself and other people a chance to breathe, think, and relax.
15. You talk over your head (or other people’s).
Source: Unsplash You use big words and complicated jargon to sound smart, even when simpler language would suffice. Or you go on about niche topics and obscure references that nobody else understands or cares about. Neither approach makes you look intelligent, just pretentious and out of touch. Tailor your conversation to your audience and focus on being clear, relatable, and engaging.
16. You argue for the sake of arguing.
You treat every discussion as a debate to be won at all costs. You nitpick, split hairs, and play devil’s advocate just to keep the argument going. It’s not about reaching understanding or finding common ground, it’s about scoring points and being right. This combative approach is tiresome and unproductive. Learn to disagree respectfully, concede valid points, and sometimes just agree to disagree.
