We’ve all heard the phrase “helicopter parent” thrown around, but what does it really mean to have an overprotective parent?
It’s not always about hovering, but sometimes more subtle signs can reveal if you were raised with a little too much parental protection. If you relate to any of the following, this might have been the case for you growing up.
1. Decision-making is a real struggle.
Remember those times when you agonised over choosing a college major or struggled to pick a restaurant for dinner? That might be a leftover from your upbringing. Overprotective parents often make decisions for their children, leaving them feeling unsure and hesitant when faced with choices as adults.
2. You’re overly cautious, even when it’s unnecessary.
Do you constantly worry about things going wrong, even when there’s little reason for concern? Maybe you avoid taking risks or try to control every aspect of your life. This tendency to be overly cautious can stem from having parents who were always trying to protect you from potential dangers, leaving you with a heightened sense of anxiety and fear.
3. You’re desperate for everyone’s approval.
Growing up with overprotective parents can make you feel like you need their validation for everything you do. This need for approval can carry over into adulthood, where you might find yourself constantly looking for validation from friends, partners, or colleagues, even for minor decisions.
4. You have difficulty setting boundaries.
Did your parents have a hard time respecting your privacy or personal space? If so, you might struggle with setting boundaries in your own relationships. It can be hard to say no or assert your needs when you’re used to having someone else control your life.
5. You’re a perfectionist who fears failure.
Overprotective parents often have high expectations for their children, which can lead to a fear of failure and a drive for perfectionism. If you feel like you can never make a mistake or fall short of expectations, it might be due to the pressure you felt growing up to always be the best.
6. You find it hard to trust your own judgment.
When you’re used to having your parents make decisions for you, it can be difficult to trust your own instincts and judgment. You might second-guess yourself constantly or need advice from other people even for simple choices.
7. You have trouble expressing your emotions.
Overprotective parents might have discouraged you from expressing negative emotions like anger or sadness, leading you to bottle them up. This can make it difficult to communicate your feelings effectively in your adult relationships.
8. You feel responsible for other people’s happiness.
Growing up with overprotective parents can create a sense of responsibility for their well-being. This can translate into adulthood, where you might feel obligated to put other people’s needs first or feel guilty when you don’t.
9. You have a hard time relaxing and having fun.
Growing up in a highly structured and controlled environment might have made it difficult for you to let loose and enjoy yourself. Maybe you feel guilty for taking time off or indulging in activities that aren’t productive. Learning to relax and have fun is an important part of self-care, and it’s something you might need to actively work on if you had an overprotective parent.
10. You overthink and overanalyse social interactions.
Were you always worried about what other people thought of you growing up? This hyperawareness of social dynamics can make it difficult to relax and be yourself around other people. You might overthink conversations, worry about saying the wrong thing, or constantly analyse other people’s reactions.
11. You’re hesitant to try new things.
Overprotective parents often discourage their children from taking risks or trying new things out of fear of them getting hurt or failing. This can lead to a reluctance to step outside your comfort zone as an adult. Maybe you avoid trying new hobbies or activities because you’re afraid of not being good at them or making a mistake.
12. You have a fear of conflict and confrontation.
If your parents shielded you from disagreements or arguments, you might have developed a fear of conflict. This can make it difficult to assert yourself or stand up for your beliefs, leading to resentment and frustration in your relationships.
13. You struggle with independence and self-reliance.
Overprotective parents often do everything for their children, leaving them feeling helpless and dependent. As an adult, you might struggle with basic tasks like cooking or managing your finances because you never had the opportunity to learn them on your own.
14. You feel guilty for making your own choices.
Source: Unsplash Did your parents make you feel guilty for wanting to do things your own way? This guilt can linger into adulthood, making it difficult to make decisions without feeling like you’re letting someone down or going against their wishes.
15. You have a tendency to catastrophise.
Source: Unsplash Growing up with constant warnings about potential dangers can lead to a tendency to catastrophise. You might imagine worst-case scenarios in every situation, or believe that minor setbacks are signs of impending doom. This can lead to unnecessary stress and anxiety.
16. You’re overly self-critical and have low self-esteem.
Source: Unsplash Despite their good intentions, overprotective parents can inadvertently undermine their children’s self-esteem. Constant criticism or a lack of positive reinforcement can leave you feeling inadequate and insecure. You might be overly critical of yourself and struggle to recognise your own strengths and achievements.
