Socialising can be awkward for a lot of people, especially when you don’t do much of it.
Whether because you’re naturally more introverted, out of practice, or just never really been good at it, not knowing how to talk to people can really hold you back in life. Here’s how you know you’re struggling to connect to people and might need to brush up on your conversational skills.
1. Small talk feels unbearable.
If the idea of chatting about the weather or someone’s weekend makes you want to bolt, you might be struggling to ease into conversations. Small talk can feel tedious, but it’s often the gateway to deeper discussions, even if it takes a bit of effort.
2. You overthink every word before saying it.
Do you second-guess your sentences before they even leave your mouth? If you’re constantly worrying about sounding awkward or saying the wrong thing, it’s a sign that you’ve lost some confidence in your ability to hold a conversation.
3. You rely too heavily on emojis and memes to communicate.
Texting has its perks, but if your in-person interactions feel stilted because you’re so used to speaking through emojis and memes, it might be time to re-sharpen those face-to-face skills. Digital shorthand doesn’t always translate well in the real world.
4. You interrupt without realising it.
If you find yourself cutting people off mid-sentence, it might be because you’re struggling to follow the natural flow of a conversation. Interrupting can come across as rude, even if it’s unintentional, and it’s often a sign that you’re out of practice.
5. Silences make you panic.
Awkward pauses feel like the end of the world when you’re not confident in your conversational skills. Instead of letting the silence breathe, you might find yourself rambling or blurting out random things just to fill the gap.
6. You forget to ask questions.
Conversations are a two-way street, but if you’re only talking about yourself or struggling to think of follow-up questions, it can make interactions feel one-sided. Asking thoughtful questions shows interest and keeps the dialogue flowing.
7. Compliments feel forced.
Instead of offering genuine praise, you might catch yourself saying things that sound awkward or insincere. If giving a compliment feels more like a chore than a natural gesture, it’s a sign you might need to warm up those social muscles again.
8. You default to talking about work.
When in doubt, you dive straight into work-related topics, even in casual settings. While it’s fine to chat about your job, relying on it as your go-to subject can make conversations feel repetitive or shallow.
9. You avoid eye contact.
Struggling to maintain eye contact during a conversation is a telltale sign of feeling socially rusty. Eye contact is a simple but powerful way to connect, and avoiding it can make interactions feel disconnected or awkward.
10. You over-apologise in conversations.
Do you find yourself constantly saying “sorry” even when it’s not necessary? This can be a sign of feeling unsure about your place in the conversation. Apologising too much might unintentionally make things feel more awkward.
11. You dread group conversations.
If the thought of chiming in during a group chat makes you freeze up, it could be a sign that you’re feeling out of touch with social dynamics. Group conversations require timing and confidence, which can feel overwhelming when you’re out of practice.
12. Jokes don’t land the way they used to.
If your attempts at humour are met with polite chuckles or blank stares, it might be because you’re struggling to read the room. Timing and tone are key to good jokes, and when you’re feeling socially off, they can easily miss the mark.
13. You zone out mid-conversation.
Do you catch yourself mentally drifting while someone’s talking to you? It might be because you’re feeling overwhelmed or disconnected from the interaction. Being present is crucial for meaningful conversations, and zoning out can make things feel awkward for both sides.
14. You repeat yourself without realising it.
If you’re recycling the same stories or comments in a single conversation, it might be a sign that you’re not fully engaged. Repetition can make you seem distracted or overly focused on your own narrative rather than the exchange.
15. You lean on canned responses.
“That’s crazy!” or “Oh, wow!” might slip out a bit too often when you don’t know what else to say. While these phrases work in a pinch, overusing them can make it seem like you’re not really listening or invested in the conversation.
16. You avoid conversations altogether.
If you find yourself dodging phone calls, skipping social events, or relying on text to communicate, it’s a big sign you’re out of practice. Avoidance only makes things harder in the long run, so taking small steps to re-engage can help ease you back into the flow.
