Situationships — that awful stage of limbo where you’re clearly more than friends with someone, but they refuse to call it a relationship — can be incredibly draining.
You really like this person, but after a while, you get sick of their refusal to put a label on things and actually start building on a real relationship. Eventually, the connection starts to die, and while you might feel desperate to work overtime trying to save it, you’d be wasting your time. Here’s why you’re better off letting this half-hearted connection go (even if it doesn’t feel like it right now).
1. There’s a consistent lack of communication.
When messages go unanswered for days and conversations become increasingly sparse, it’s a clear sign that the connection is fading. Such an obvious breakdown in communication reveals a lack of investment in maintaining even a basic level of interaction. If they wanted to talk to you, they would — it’s really as simple as that.
2. You have different expectations for the relationship.
If one person is hoping for commitment while the other prefers to keep things casual, this fundamental mismatch in expectations can’t be easily reconciled. It’s disparity often leads to frustration and disappointment on both sides. You can’t convince someone to see things your way or want the same things you do, so don’t even bother.
3. There’s a noticeable imbalance in effort.
When one person consistently puts in more effort to maintain the connection, it creates an unsustainable dynamic. The fact that you’re the one pulling the weight in your connection inevitably leads to resentment and feelings of being undervalued. Surely, love is supposed to be better than this, right? (Right!)
4. You feel anxious or unsure most of the time.
A healthy relationship should provide a sense of security and comfort. If you’re constantly feeling anxious or unsure about where you stand, it’s a sign that the situationship isn’t meeting your emotional needs. You deserve some clarity from the person you’re investing all this time and energy into. If they can’t (or won’t) give it, move on.
5. They’re not willing to define the relationship.
If your attempts to have a conversation about the nature of your relationship are consistently avoided or shut down, it’s clear that they’re not interested in progressing beyond the current undefined state. Their reluctance to commit can be a huge barrier to moving forward. Where exactly are you supposed to go from here? Nowhere, that’s where.
6. You have conflicting values or life goals.
Fundamental differences in core values or long-term aspirations can make it impossible to build a lasting connection. Plus, your incompatibilities often become more apparent as time goes on and can’t be easily overlooked or changed. You shouldn’t have to compromise who you are and what you value just to stay with someone.
7. There’s a lack of emotional intimacy.
If your conversations remain surface-level and there’s no deepening of emotional connection over time, it’s a sign that the relationship isn’t progressing. The lack of intimacy can leave both of you feeling unfulfilled and disconnected. You can’t get deep with someone if they won’t ever dive in.
8. You’re not a priority in their life.
When you consistently feel like an afterthought or a convenient option rather than a priority, it’s a pretty clear sign that they’re not fully invested in the relationship. Repeatedly being sidelined in this way can be damaging to your self-esteem, and you deserve better than that.
9. There’s a pattern of hot and cold behaviour.
Source: Unsplash If their interest and affection fluctuate wildly, with periods of intense attention followed by sudden distance, it creates an unstable and often unhealthy dynamic. Not only that, but their inconsistency can be emotionally draining and prevent the development of trust. You shouldn’t wake up every day wondering what version of them you’re going to get.
10. You’re not introducing each other to friends or family.
Source: Unsplash Being reluctant to integrate each other into your social circles or family lives means neither of you probably think this is anything serious or worth building on. Your (or their!) hesitation to acknowledge the relationship publicly often means that one or both of you don’t see a long-term future together.
11. There’s a lack of respect for your boundaries.
If your personal boundaries are consistently ignored or dismissed, it shows a fundamental lack of respect. Their willingness to disregard your needs and limits can destroy trust and make it impossible to build a healthy relationship. Why on earth would you want to be with someone like that?
12. You’re not making future plans together.
Being unable or unwilling to make plans beyond the immediate future can indicate a lack of commitment to the relationship. The fact that they’re so focused on the short term suggests that one or both of you don’t see things lasting. Sure, not every relationship is meant to last forever, but if you can’t even make plans for next weekend, what are you doing?
13. There’s a constant feeling of dissatisfaction.
If you’re constantly left feeling unfulfilled or wanting more from the relationship, it’s a sign that your needs aren’t being met. The more and more you allow yourself to be miserable, the more resentful you’ll become over time. Cut the cord so you can focus on someone who’s actually interested in giving you what you’re looking for.
14. You’re holding on to potential rather than reality.
If you find yourself constantly focusing on what the relationship could be rather than what it actually is, you may be ignoring the reality of the situation. Your tendency to idealise can prevent you from seeing the relationship clearly and moving on.
15. There’s a lack of growth or progression.
If the relationship feels stagnant and there’s no sense of moving forward or deepening your connection, it may have reached its natural end. You’ve probably got all you need from this situation, so there’s no reason to stay in it anymore. That’s okay! Be willing to learn what your situation had to teach you and move on.
16. You’re compromising your self-worth.
If you end up consistently lowering your standards or accepting behaviour that makes you uncomfortable, it’s a sign that the situationship is negatively impacting your self-esteem. Preserving your sense of self-worth is non-negotiable and may require walking away from the relationship.
