16 Phrases To Help You Start A Tough Conversation

Getty Images/iStockphoto

Having a tough or awkward conversation isn’t something anyone looks forward to, but sometimes it’s necessary.

Getty Images/iStockphoto

Whether you need to tell someone how you feel, call them out on bad behaviour, or even just discuss something that’s been brewing under the surface for a while, it can be hard to know how to broach things. If you’re really struggling but know you need to speak up, here are some phrases that might come in handy.

1. “I’ve been wanting to talk to you about something. Is this a good time?”

Getty Images

This phrase is straightforward without being abrupt, giving the other person a chance to prepare themselves. It shows respect for their time and ensures they’re in the right frame of mind to have an open conversation. Starting with this can make things feel less tense and help both of you ease into the discussion.

2. “This isn’t easy for me to say, but I think it’s important that we talk about it.”

Getty Images/iStockphoto

Acknowledging that the conversation might be tough shows vulnerability and lets the other person know you’re not taking this lightly. It also sets the tone for a meaningful exchange, signalling that what you’re about to say matters and comes from a genuine place.

3. “I care about you, and because of that, I feel like I need to be honest with you about something.”

Getty Images

Leading with care can soften the blow of a difficult topic. It reminds the other person that you’re bringing this up not to criticise or confront, but because the relationship is important to you. This approach often helps lower defences and paves the way for a more productive conversation.

4. “I’ve been thinking about something, and I’d really like to hear your perspective on it.”

Getty Images/iStockphoto

This phrase makes the conversation feel less like a lecture and more like a collaborative discussion. By inviting their thoughts, you’re showing that you value their input and want to work through things together. It’s a great way to take some of the pressure off and keep things balanced.

5. “I don’t want this to come across the wrong way, so I thought it’d be better if we just talked about it.”

Getty Images

By addressing the potential for misunderstanding upfront, you show that your intentions are good. It also sets the stage for a conversation that’s clear and respectful, making it less likely to spiral into defensiveness or confusion.

6. “I feel like there’s been something on my mind, and I want us to work through it together.”

Unsplash/Getty

Using “us” reinforces that this isn’t about blame or pointing fingers. It shows that you see the issue as something you can tackle as a team, which can make the other person feel more comfortable and less singled out.

7. “I know this might be a bit uncomfortable, but I think it’s worth talking about.”

Unsplash/Ave Calvar

Calling out the awkwardness can actually help to diffuse it. It shows that you’re aware the conversation might be uncomfortable, but still believe it’s necessary. A bit of honesty often puts people at ease and creates a more relaxed atmosphere.

8. “I’m not exactly sure how to say this, but I think it’s something we need to discuss.”

Pexels/Mikhail Nilov

Admitting that you’re struggling to find the right words can make the conversation feel more human and less rehearsed. It signals that this is coming from a genuine place, which helps the other person feel more connected to what you’re saying.

9. “Can we sit down and talk about something that’s been on my mind?”

© Milenko Đilas - Veternik

This is a calm, practical way to open the door to a conversation. It sets the expectation that this will be a meaningful chat, while also giving the other person a moment to prepare. Starting like this often makes things feel less rushed and more intentional.

10. “This might be a little awkward, but I think it’s better if we talk about it openly.”

Envato Elements

Calling out the potential awkwardness can actually make things feel less awkward. It shows that you’re aware of the discomfort and choosing to approach it honestly, which makes the conversation feel more relaxed and down-to-earth.

11. “I don’t want to assume anything, so I thought we could talk it through together.”

Source: Unsplash
Unsplash/Getty

This phrase takes the sting out of any potential confrontation by showing you’re not jumping to conclusions. It also invites them to share their side, making it feel like a joint effort to understand each other rather than a one-sided discussion.

12. “I value our relationship, and that’s why I think we should talk about this.”

Source: Unsplash
Unsplash

Reminding the other person that the conversation is coming from a place of care and respect can set a positive tone. It helps them see that this isn’t about picking apart flaws, but about strengthening your connection.

13. “I’m feeling a little nervous about bringing this up, but I think it’s important to talk about.”

Source: Unsplash
Unsplash

Sharing that you’re nervous makes the conversation feel more relatable and genuine. It shows that you’re being honest not just about the topic but about how difficult it is for you to bring it up, which can help the other person feel less defensive.

14. “I’d really like us to have an open conversation about something that’s been on my mind.”

Source: Unsplash
Unsplash

This phrase is honest without being confrontational, giving the other person a clear idea of what to expect. Saying “open conversation” signals that you’re ready to listen to their thoughts as well, which makes the exchange feel more balanced.

15. “I think there’s something we could work on together. Can we talk about it?”

Source: Unsplash
Unsplash

Framing the issue as something you can tackle together takes the focus off blame and makes the conversation feel more constructive. It shows that you’re looking for a solution, not a fight, which can encourage the other person to engage more openly.

16. “I don’t want this to become a big issue, so I thought it’d be best if we just talk about it now.”

Source: Unsplash
Unsplash

This phrase shows that you’re being proactive and trying to keep things healthy. It conveys that you care about the relationship enough to address issues before they escalate, which can make the other person more willing to listen.