16 Inexcusable Phrases That Should Be Relationship Deal-Breakers

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Some things can be forgiven, but certain things people say to their partner can cross a line that’s hard to come back from.

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It doesn’t matter how hurt or angry someone is — there’s a way to express those emotions without saying things you don’t mean and that do irreparable damage to a relationship. If the person you’re with says any of these things to you, you may want to reconsider whether this is a healthy partnership for you. Chances are, you’re better off without them.

1. “You’re too touchy.”

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This dismisses your feelings and can make you feel like you’re overreacting for expressing emotions. In a healthy relationship, both partners should feel safe to share how they feel without being told it’s “too much.” Consistently hearing this can be a red flag that your feelings aren’t being respected.

2. “I’m only with you because no one else would put up with you.”

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This is a deeply cutting remark that plays on insecurity and lowers self-worth. A partner should uplift you, not imply you’re unworthy of love or that they’re settling. If someone makes you feel like a burden rather than a choice, it’s a sign to consider what you truly deserve.

3. “It’s not my problem.”

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A dismissive phrase like this shows a lack of care and support. In a partnership, both people should feel comfortable leaning on each other. When a partner repeatedly distances themselves from your issues, it shows a lack of empathy and a lack of willingness to be a team.

4. “If you really loved me, you would…”

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Using love as a way to manipulate or control is a major red flag. Love shouldn’t be something that comes with conditions or ultimatums. A phrase like this places pressure on you to act a certain way, which isn’t a healthy way to build trust or intimacy.

5. “You’re lucky I put up with you.”

 

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This is more than just hurtful—it’s a way of saying that you’re somehow “less” and should be grateful for their presence. A partner who says this is placing themselves above you, which is neither respectful nor supportive in a relationship.

6. “I could do better than you.”

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This one cuts right to the heart of self-worth, suggesting you’re somehow not good enough. It’s a put-down that can make you feel like they’re just waiting for something “better” to come along. In a loving relationship, both partners should feel equally valued and appreciated.

7. “That’s just the way I am, deal with it.”

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Growth is part of any healthy relationship, and this shows a refusal to work on themselves or consider how their actions affect you. If they’re unwilling to grow or compromise, it can lead to resentment and feeling stuck in a one-sided dynamic.

8. “You’re overreacting.”

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Being told you’re overreacting minimises your experience and can make you feel small. It’s a dismissive way of shutting down your feelings rather than listening and trying to understand. A healthy relationship should feel like a safe place to express how you’re truly feeling.

9. “I’m the only one who would put up with you.”

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This is meant to make you feel dependent on them, as if you couldn’t find happiness or acceptance anywhere else. It’s a manipulative tactic that destroys self-esteem, creating a toxic dynamic where they feel superior. A relationship should never make you feel “trapped.”

10. “You’ll never find anyone better than me.”

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This kind of comment is meant to make you doubt your ability to find a healthy, loving relationship outside of this one. It’s controlling and egotistical, suggesting you’re lucky to be with them. Self-worth and independence are key, and a good partner encourages both.

11. “It’s all your fault.”

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Pointing blame entirely at you without any self-reflection shows a lack of accountability. Relationships involve both people, and problems are rarely one-sided. A partner who refuses to take any responsibility may not be open to growth or compromise.

12. “I don’t care what you think.”

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Hearing this can make you feel like your opinions don’t matter, and it’s dismissive at best. Mutual respect means valuing each other’s viewpoints, even when there’s disagreement. A partner who genuinely doesn’t care about your perspective isn’t showing the respect that a relationship needs to thrive.

13. “You’re just like your (parent, ex, etc.).”

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Comparing you to someone else, especially someone who might be a sensitive topic, is both unfair and hurtful. This kind of statement can feel like a cheap shot, making you feel judged and criticised rather than supported. Relationships thrive on acceptance, not comparison.

14. “Stop being so dramatic.”

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Brushing off your feelings by calling you “dramatic” shuts down communication and makes it harder to open up. A healthy relationship involves validating each other’s experiences, not mocking or downplaying them. Everyone deserves to feel heard without being labelled.

15. “I’m not responsible for how you feel.”

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While everyone is ultimately responsible for their own emotions, this shows a lack of empathy. In a relationship, supporting each other emotionally is essential. Dismissing someone’s feelings instead of acknowledging them makes it hard to feel connected and understood.

16. “You’re too much work.”

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A partner who sees you as a “chore” rather than a joy is undermining the very basis of a healthy relationship. We all come with our own quirks and challenges, and a loving partner sees these as part of who you are, not an inconvenience. A relationship should feel like a team effort, not like one person’s constantly being tolerated.