Some things can be forgiven, but certain things people say to their partner can cross a line that’s hard to come back from.
It doesn’t matter how hurt or angry someone is — there’s a way to express those emotions without saying things you don’t mean and that do irreparable damage to a relationship. If the person you’re with says any of these things to you, you may want to reconsider whether this is a healthy partnership for you. Chances are, you’re better off without them.
1. “You’re too touchy.”
This dismisses your feelings and can make you feel like you’re overreacting for expressing emotions. In a healthy relationship, both partners should feel safe to share how they feel without being told it’s “too much.” Consistently hearing this can be a red flag that your feelings aren’t being respected.
2. “I’m only with you because no one else would put up with you.”
This is a deeply cutting remark that plays on insecurity and lowers self-worth. A partner should uplift you, not imply you’re unworthy of love or that they’re settling. If someone makes you feel like a burden rather than a choice, it’s a sign to consider what you truly deserve.
3. “It’s not my problem.”
A dismissive phrase like this shows a lack of care and support. In a partnership, both people should feel comfortable leaning on each other. When a partner repeatedly distances themselves from your issues, it shows a lack of empathy and a lack of willingness to be a team.
4. “If you really loved me, you would…”
Using love as a way to manipulate or control is a major red flag. Love shouldn’t be something that comes with conditions or ultimatums. A phrase like this places pressure on you to act a certain way, which isn’t a healthy way to build trust or intimacy.
5. “You’re lucky I put up with you.”
This is more than just hurtful—it’s a way of saying that you’re somehow “less” and should be grateful for their presence. A partner who says this is placing themselves above you, which is neither respectful nor supportive in a relationship.
6. “I could do better than you.”
This one cuts right to the heart of self-worth, suggesting you’re somehow not good enough. It’s a put-down that can make you feel like they’re just waiting for something “better” to come along. In a loving relationship, both partners should feel equally valued and appreciated.
7. “That’s just the way I am, deal with it.”
Growth is part of any healthy relationship, and this shows a refusal to work on themselves or consider how their actions affect you. If they’re unwilling to grow or compromise, it can lead to resentment and feeling stuck in a one-sided dynamic.
8. “You’re overreacting.”
Being told you’re overreacting minimises your experience and can make you feel small. It’s a dismissive way of shutting down your feelings rather than listening and trying to understand. A healthy relationship should feel like a safe place to express how you’re truly feeling.
9. “I’m the only one who would put up with you.”
This is meant to make you feel dependent on them, as if you couldn’t find happiness or acceptance anywhere else. It’s a manipulative tactic that destroys self-esteem, creating a toxic dynamic where they feel superior. A relationship should never make you feel “trapped.”
10. “You’ll never find anyone better than me.”
This kind of comment is meant to make you doubt your ability to find a healthy, loving relationship outside of this one. It’s controlling and egotistical, suggesting you’re lucky to be with them. Self-worth and independence are key, and a good partner encourages both.
11. “It’s all your fault.”
Pointing blame entirely at you without any self-reflection shows a lack of accountability. Relationships involve both people, and problems are rarely one-sided. A partner who refuses to take any responsibility may not be open to growth or compromise.
12. “I don’t care what you think.”
Hearing this can make you feel like your opinions don’t matter, and it’s dismissive at best. Mutual respect means valuing each other’s viewpoints, even when there’s disagreement. A partner who genuinely doesn’t care about your perspective isn’t showing the respect that a relationship needs to thrive.
13. “You’re just like your (parent, ex, etc.).”
Comparing you to someone else, especially someone who might be a sensitive topic, is both unfair and hurtful. This kind of statement can feel like a cheap shot, making you feel judged and criticised rather than supported. Relationships thrive on acceptance, not comparison.
14. “Stop being so dramatic.”
Brushing off your feelings by calling you “dramatic” shuts down communication and makes it harder to open up. A healthy relationship involves validating each other’s experiences, not mocking or downplaying them. Everyone deserves to feel heard without being labelled.
15. “I’m not responsible for how you feel.”
While everyone is ultimately responsible for their own emotions, this shows a lack of empathy. In a relationship, supporting each other emotionally is essential. Dismissing someone’s feelings instead of acknowledging them makes it hard to feel connected and understood.
16. “You’re too much work.”
A partner who sees you as a “chore” rather than a joy is undermining the very basis of a healthy relationship. We all come with our own quirks and challenges, and a loving partner sees these as part of who you are, not an inconvenience. A relationship should feel like a team effort, not like one person’s constantly being tolerated.
