If you’ve ever been called insensitive, you know just how much it can sting.
You try to be a good person and would never purposely set out to hurt someone, but that doesn’t mean your behaviour always matches your intentions. If you regularly do any of the following things, it’s no wonder some people find you a bit thoughtless, uncaring, and inconsiderate.
1. You often interrupt people when they’re speaking.
Cutting people off mid-sentence is a guaranteed way to seem insensitive. It shows you value your own thoughts more than theirs and aren’t really listening. Even if you’re excited to share your ideas, try to wait until the other person has finished talking. It’s not just polite, it shows you respect their input.
2. You make jokes at inappropriate times.
Humour can be a great way to lighten the mood, but timing is everything. If you’re cracking jokes during serious conversations or in sensitive situations, people might see you as insensitive. Not every moment calls for comedy, and sometimes your attempts at humour might come across as making light of someone’s pain or struggles.
3. You give unsolicited advice.
While you might think you’re being helpful, constantly offering advice when it’s not asked for can be seen as insensitive. Sometimes people just want to vent or share their experiences without being told what to do. Unless someone specifically asks for your opinion, it’s often better to just listen and offer support.
4. You dismiss other people’s feelings.
Telling someone to “get over it” or that they’re overreacting is a quick way to be seen as insensitive. Everyone experiences emotions differently, and what seems trivial to you might be a big deal to someone else. Try to validate their feelings, even if you don’t fully understand or agree with them.
5. You overshare personal information about people with others.
Gossiping or sharing private details about other people’s lives without their permission is not only insensitive, it’s a breach of trust. What you see as harmless chatter could be deeply personal or embarrassing for someone else. Always think twice before sharing information that isn’t yours to share.
6. You don’t pick up on social cues.
If you often miss subtle hints in conversation or body language, people might find you insensitive. Maybe you keep pushing a topic when someone’s clearly uncomfortable, or you miss when someone’s hinting they need to leave. Try to be more observant of non-verbal cues and changes in tone.
7. You compare your problems to other people’s (and yours are always worse).
When someone’s sharing their struggles, responding with, “That’s nothing, let me tell you about my problems” can come across as incredibly insensitive. It’s not a competition, and downplaying someone else’s issues doesn’t make yours more valid. Each person’s experiences are unique and deserve acknowledgment.
8. You’re always playing devil’s advocate.
While it’s good to consider different perspectives, constantly arguing the opposite viewpoint can be exhausting and insensitive, especially in emotional discussions. There’s a time and place for debate, but sometimes people just need support and understanding, not a counterargument.
9. You make everything about yourself.
If you have a habit of steering every conversation back to your own experiences or problems, people might see you as self-centred and insensitive. It’s great to share and relate, but make sure you’re giving other people equal time to express themselves without always making it about you.
10. You use offensive language without considering your audience.
Using slurs, swear words, or politically incorrect terms without regard for who might be listening can definitely make you seem insensitive. What’s acceptable among your close friends might be offensive to other people, so be mindful of your language in different settings and with different groups of people.
11. You don’t respect personal boundaries.
If you’re always pushing for more information or physical contact than someone’s comfortable with, that’s a clear sign of insensitivity. Everyone has different boundaries, and it’s important to respect them. If someone seems hesitant or says no, back off without making them feel guilty about it.
12. You minimise other people’s accomplishments.
Responding to someone’s good news with “That’s nice, but…” or immediately one-upping them with your own achievements can be really insensitive. Even if you don’t think it’s a big deal, try to be genuinely happy for people and celebrate their wins, however minor, without qualification.
13. You’re always brutally honest, even when it’s not necessary.
Source: Unsplash While honesty is generally a good policy, there’s a difference between being truthful and being cruel. If you pride yourself on always saying exactly what you think, regardless of the impact, people might see you as insensitive. Sometimes a bit of tact goes a long way.
14. You don’t follow through on commitments.
Source: Unsplash Constantly cancelling plans at the last minute or forgetting promises you’ve made can come across as very insensitive. It sends the message that your time and priorities are more important than other people’s. Try to be more reliable, and if you genuinely can’t make it, give as much notice as possible.
15. You don’t show appreciation for other people’s efforts.
Source: Unsplash If you rarely say thank you or acknowledge when someone’s gone out of their way for you, it can seem very insensitive. Whether it’s a big favour or a small gesture, showing genuine gratitude is important. It lets people know you value their efforts and don’t take them for granted.
16. You rush to fix problems instead of listening.
When someone’s sharing a problem, jumping straight into problem-solving mode without first acknowledging their feelings can seem insensitive. Sometimes people just want to be heard and understood. Before offering solutions, try asking if they want advice or just need someone to listen.
