You probably think tantrums are something only kids have, but a shocking number of adults are guilty of throwing them, too.
No matter how mature you think you are, there are certain behaviours you might be guilty of that send the opposite message. These things are the grown-up version of throwing yourself down in the middle of a crowded store and screaming your head off. In other words, they’re not a good look!
1. You give people the silent treatment when you’re upset.
Refusing to talk to someone when you’re angry is a classic adult tantrum move. It’s passive-aggressive and doesn’t solve anything. Instead of communicating your feelings, you’re punishing the other person by withholding attention. It’s not just immature; it’s also pretty ineffective at resolving disagreements.
2. You slam doors or throw things when you’re frustrated.
This is basically the grown-up version of a toddler throwing toys. If you find yourself slamming doors, tossing your phone, or chucking pillows when you’re upset, that’s a tantrum in action. It’s a physical expression of your anger that does nothing to address the actual problem at hand.
3. You use social media to indirectly vent about people.
Posting vague, angry statuses or subtweeting about someone who’s annoyed you is peak adult tantrum behaviour. It’s a way of airing your grievances without actually confronting the person directly. Plus, it often drags other people into your drama unnecessarily.
4. You sulk when things don’t go your way.
Sulking is essentially pouting for grown-ups. If you’re always withdrawing, acting moody, or trying to make people feel guilty when you don’t get what you want, that’s a tantrum. It’s an attempt to manipulate people’s emotions rather than dealing with your disappointment maturely.
5. You give backhanded compliments or make passive-aggressive remarks.
This is a sneaky form of adult tantrum. Instead of expressing your displeasure directly, you mask it with fake politeness. Saying things like “I wish I could be as carefree about my appearance as you are” is just a roundabout way of lashing out.
6. You deliberately do a bad job at tasks when you’re annoyed.
If you’ve ever half-heartedly done the dishes or intentionally messed up a work task because you were angry about having to do it, that’s tantrum territory. It’s a way of rebelling against expectations without openly refusing to do something. It might also be a form of weaponised incompetence, where you mess things up so that you’re never asked to do them again.
7. You make threats or ultimatums to get your way.
Threatening to leave a relationship or quit a job every time you’re upset is classic tantrum behaviour. It’s an attempt to control the situation through fear rather than addressing the actual issues at hand. Needless to say, this is manipulative and often backfires in the long run.
8. You overreact to minor inconveniences.
If spilling your coffee or getting stuck in traffic ruins your entire day, you might be prone to adult tantrums. Blowing small problems out of proportion is a way of venting frustration that’s built up over time, but it’s not a healthy coping mechanism. You have to learn to take things in your stride a bit better.
9. You ignore people as a way to get back at them.
Ignoring texts, ghosting, or refusing to acknowledge someone’s presence are all forms of the silent treatment. It’s a way of punishing someone by withholding attention and affection. While it might feel satisfying in the moment, it’s ultimately destructive to relationships.
10. You’re all about retail therapy when you’re upset.
Splurging on unnecessary purchases to make yourself feel better is a form of emotional self-soothing that can be tantrum-like. It’s using material goods to avoid dealing with your feelings directly. While it might provide a temporary high, it doesn’t solve the underlying issues (and it might even put you in debt if you’re not careful).
11. You fish for compliments or reassurance constantly.
Constantly looking for validation from other people can be a subtle form of tantrum. It’s a way of demanding attention and emotional labour from those around you. While everyone needs reassurance sometimes, doing it excessively puts an unfair burden on the people around you to make you the star of the show.
12. You give people the cold shoulder in social situations.
If you’ve ever ignored someone at a party or been overly polite in a way that’s clearly fake, that’s tantrum behaviour. It’s a way of punishing someone socially without directly confronting them, and it creates an uncomfortable atmosphere for everyone involved. Grow up, eh?
13. You procrastinate on important tasks out of spite.
Putting off important work or household chores because you’re annoyed about having to do them is tantrum-like behaviour. It’s a way of rebelling against responsibilities that ultimately only hurts you in the long run. Just get things done, and then you won’t have to think about them anymore. It’s really not that hard.
14. You gossip or spread rumours when you’re upset with someone.
Talking behind someone’s back instead of addressing issues directly is a classic adult tantrum move. It’s a way of venting your frustrations and potentially turning people against the person you’re upset with, without the risk of confrontation.
15. You withdraw affection as punishment.
If you find yourself withholding hugs, kisses, or even kind words when you’re upset with a partner or friend, that’s tantrum behaviour. It’s using your affection as a weapon to control other people’s behaviour or punish them for the things you think they did wrong. If this is how you operate, you shouldn’t be in a relationship.
16. You play the victim in conflicts.
Constantly portraying yourself as the wronged person in every disagreement is a form of adult tantrum. It’s a way of avoiding responsibility for your actions and manipulating other people into feeling sorry for you. Unfortunately, it also prevents real problem-solving and can be exhausting for the people around you.
