Narcissists seem confident on the outside, but that carefully constructed facade can come crashing down in no time.
When this image begins to crumble, it’s like a domino effect, triggering a cascade of bizarre behaviours. These individuals, known for their inflated egos and need for admiration, often react in unexpected ways when their illusions of grandeur shatter. While we might associate narcissism with arrogance and self-entitlement, their response to collapse reveals a different, and sometimes surprising, side of their personality. Here are some of the things they’re likely to do.
1. They isolate themselves from friends and family.
One of the most common things a narcissist does when they hit collapse is to pull away from the people in their lives that they’re closest to. This isn’t necessarily because they’re ashamed of what’s happening, although that can be part of it. Instead, it’s often because they can’t bear to be seen as anything less than perfect. They may retreat into their own world, where they can wallow in their self-pity and fantasize about a future where they’re back on top.
2. They become obsessed with their appearance.
Narcissists often place a great deal of importance on their appearance, but this can become even more extreme when they’re struggling. They may start spending hours in front of the mirror, trying to find a way to look younger or more attractive. It’s possible that they’ll start obsessing over their weight or their clothes as well. This obsession with appearance is often a way for narcissists to try to regain some control over their lives. They believe that if they can look perfect, then maybe everything else will fall into place.
3. They get paranoid and suspicious.
When a narcissist’s world starts to crumble, they start freaking out and suspecting everyone around them of some kind of betrayal or hidden motives. They might start to believe that everyone is out to get them, or that everyone is talking about them behind their backs. This paranoia can be overwhelming, and it can make it difficult for narcissists to start or maintain relationships. They can also become increasingly secretive and withdrawn, as they try to protect themselves from the perceived threat.
4. They lash out at everyone around them.
Narcissists are known for their tendency to lash out at people, but this can become even more pronounced when they’re struggling. They may become verbally abusive, or even physically violent. This is often a way for narcissists to try to vent their frustrations and to regain a sense of power. They may also target people who they perceive as being weaker than them, such as their children or their partners.
5. They turn to substance abuse.
When a narcissist’s life starts to unravel, they may turn to drugs or alcohol to try to numb their pain. This can quickly become a problem, as narcissists are often prone to addiction. They may also use substances as a way to escape from reality, or to try to feel better about themselves. This can have a devastating impact on their lives, and it can further damage their relationships with friends and family.
6. They engage in risky behaviour.
When a narcissist’s world is falling apart, they may start engaging in risky behaviour. This can include things like gambling, promiscuity, or even criminal activity. This is often a way for narcissists to try to feel alive, or to try to regain some control over their lives. They may also be hoping that their risky behaviour will lead to some kind of positive outcome, such as a windfall of money or a new relationship. However, this is rarely the case, and their risky behaviour often only serves to make their problems worse.
7. They become increasingly grandiose.
When a narcissist’s carefully constructed image begins to crumble, they often resort to more grandstanding than usual. This can manifest as exaggerated claims of success, an inflated sense of self-importance, or a desperate need for attention and admiration. This is their way of attempting to mask their insecurities and maintain the illusion of superiority, even as their world falls apart.
8. They desperately look for new sources of narcissistic supply.
Narcissists thrive on attention and admiration, which they refer to as narcissistic supply. When their usual sources of supply dry up, they frantically search for new ones. This could involve charming new acquaintances, engaging in online interactions, or even seeking validation from strangers. This insatiable need for external validation is their way of trying to fill the void left by their crumbling self-esteem.
9. They engage in self-destructive behaviour.
As their internal turmoil intensifies, narcissists may resort to self-destructive behaviour. This could involve neglecting their physical or mental health, engaging in reckless activities, or even sabotaging their own relationships or careers. This self-sabotage is often a manifestation of their deep-seated self-loathing and a subconscious desire to punish themselves for their perceived failures.
10. They experience extreme mood swings.
The emotional rollercoaster that narcissists experience during collapse is often accompanied by extreme mood swings. They may oscillate between rage, despair, and fleeting moments of euphoria. These erratic emotions are a reflection of their inner chaos and the desperate struggle to maintain control over their crumbling world. Their loved ones may find it difficult to cope with these unpredictable emotional outbursts.
11. They deny reality and start pointing the finger.
Narcissists have a remarkable ability to deny reality and refuse to accept responsibility for their actions. When faced with the consequences of their behaviour, they blame everyone and everything but themselves for it. This refusal to acknowledge their own shortcomings is a defence mechanism that protects their fragile ego from further damage.
12. They retreat into fantasy.
As the real world becomes increasingly unbearable, narcissists may retreat into a world of fantasy. They may daydream about past glories, fantasize about future successes, or create elaborate narratives in which they are the hero. This escapism provides temporary relief from the harsh realities they are facing.
13. They attempt to manipulate and control people.
Even in the midst of collapse, narcissists often resort to manipulation and control tactics to try to regain some semblance of power. They may try to guilt-trip loved ones, play the victim, or use threats and intimidation to get their way. This desperate attempt to control their environment is a way of clinging to the illusion of control that is slipping away.
14. They become obsessed with revenge.
When narcissists feel wronged or betrayed, their desire for revenge can become all-consuming. They may obsess over ways to get back at those they perceive as responsible for their downfall. This vengeful obsession can lead to destructive behaviour and further isolate them from other people.
15. They experience a profound sense of emptiness.
Beneath the grandiose facade and desperate attempts to maintain control, narcissists often experience a profound sense of emptiness. This emptiness is a result of their inability to form solid connections with people and their reliance on external validation for self-worth. As their world collapses, this emptiness becomes even more pronounced, leading to feelings of despair and hopelessness.
