Not everyone is a natural at small talk — in fact, lots of people struggle with it.
While some people can effortlessly chat about anything, others find themselves awkwardly fumbling through conversations, desperately searching for the right thing to say. However, even if small talk doesn’t come naturally, that doesn’t mean you can’t make it work. People who struggle with it often come up with creative (or slightly painful) ways to keep conversations going. If you’re one of them, you’ll probably relate to these little methods people use to try and cope with small talk when they either hate it or are kind of terrible at it.
1. Sticking to weather talk for as long as possible
When in doubt, talk about the weather. It’s the classic go-to for anyone who doesn’t know what else to say. “Lovely day, isn’t it?” or “Bit chilly today!” can buy a few extra seconds to think of something better. The problem? If the other person just nods, you’re back to square one. And if the weather really isn’t that interesting, it can lead to awkward silence pretty quickly.
2. Repeating “so, how’s work?” in different ways
People who struggle with small talk often lean on work as a safe topic. However, if they run out of things to ask, they might just rephrase the same question: “How’s work going?” “Still keeping busy?” “Anything new at the office?” It’s a reliable fallback, but if the other person doesn’t feel like talking about work, this tactic can run out of steam fast.
3. Laughing at things that aren’t actually funny
Nervous small talkers sometimes fill awkward moments by laughing, even when nothing remotely funny was said. It’s an attempt to keep things light, but sometimes it just makes things even weirder. The other person might start wondering if they missed a joke, or worse, why they’re suddenly getting a polite chuckle for saying, “Yeah, I had pasta for lunch.”
4. Overusing “That’s crazy!” to fill space
When you don’t know what else to say, “That’s crazy!” becomes the ultimate conversation crutch. Someone shares a mildly interesting fact? “That’s crazy!” A story that’s not that shocking? “Wow, that’s crazy!” It works to keep the conversation moving, but if it’s the only response you’ve got, the other person might start to wonder if you’re actually listening.
5. Turning the conversation into an interview
Some people cope with small talk by asking a million questions. They figure if they keep the focus on the other person, they won’t have to contribute as much. While being curious is great, if it starts feeling like an interrogation, the other person might get a bit uncomfortable. Not every conversation needs to feel like a job interview.
6. Nodding excessively to avoid speaking
When words fail, enthusiastic nodding takes over. Some people try to coast through small talk by just nodding along, hoping the other person will do all the talking. It works… until the other person stops speaking and expects a response. Then it’s time to scramble for something — anything — to say.
7. Throwing out a fun fact that doesn’t fit the conversation
When small talkers panic, they sometimes resort to random trivia. “Did you know octopuses have three hearts?” might be fascinating, but if the conversation was about someone’s holiday plans, it’s a bit of a jarring shift. Dropping a fact out of nowhere can be a conversation-saver or a total derailment — it’s always a gamble.
8. Making overly safe, generic statements
People who struggle with small talk often stick to extremely neutral, risk-free comments like “Mondays, am I right?” or “Coffee is life!” These statements are inoffensive and easy, but they don’t really lead anywhere. Unless the other person takes the bait and expands on it, the conversation is at risk of fizzling out fast.
9. Complimenting something random
If small talk feels awkward, some people try to save it with a compliment. “Nice shoes!” or “Cool watch!” can be an easy way to fill space. However, if the compliment feels forced or completely out of nowhere, the other person might not know how to respond. Then it’s back to awkward silence.
10. Overcompensating with way too much enthusiasm
Some people handle small talk struggles by getting overly animated. Everything is suddenly “Amazing!” “Super interesting!” or “So exciting!” even when it’s just someone mentioning they bought a new kettle. While enthusiasm is great, if it’s too over-the-top, it can make the conversation feel a bit unnatural.
11. Panicking and saying something completely unrelated
Sometimes, in an effort to keep a conversation going, people blurt out the first thing that comes to mind, even if it makes no sense in context. Someone mentions they’re going to Spain, and instead of asking about their trip, a nervous small talker might respond with, “Oh, cool. I had a really good sandwich yesterday!”
12. Jumping topics too quickly
In an attempt to avoid awkward silence, some people switch topics too abruptly. One second you’re talking about movies, the next they’re asking, “Do you believe in aliens?” Quick shifts can keep things interesting, but if they’re too random, it can make the conversation feel chaotic rather than engaging.
13. Ending every sentence with “you know what I mean?”
When in doubt, throwing in “you know what I mean?” can be a way to check if the other person is still engaged. But if it’s overused, it can start to sound like they’re second-guessing everything they say — or hoping the other person will do the work of keeping the conversation going.
14. Repeating the last thing the other person said
Source: Unsplash When someone struggles with small talk, they sometimes just repeat the last sentence back as a way to fill time and space. It’s a bit weird, but it usually takes the other person a few minutes to realise that you’re doing it, and by the time that happens, you can pass off the exchange as a “conversation.”
Person 1: “I went to a wedding last weekend.”
Person 2: “Oh, a wedding?”
Person 1: “Yeah, it was really nice.”
Person 2: “Really nice, huh?”
It buys time, but it’s not exactly the smoothest way to keep a conversation flowing.
15. Ending things with “Welp… anyway!”
Source: Unsplash When all else fails, people who are terrible at small talk rely on the universal conversation escape hatch: “Welp… anyway!” It’s the signal that they’ve run out of things to say and are ready to move on. It might not be the smoothest way to exit, but at least it’s honest! And to be fair, we Brits do appreciate people who get straight to the point.
