Cheaters often go to great lengths to conceal their infidelity.
They use all kinds of crazy tactics to throw their partners off the scent, but these attempts frequently backfire. Noticing these behaviours can help you spot potential red flags in your relationship. Here are 15 common ways cheaters try to hide their deceit, and why these methods often fail.
1. They become overly protective of their phone.
Cheaters often guard their phones like a prized possession. They’ll keep them face down, take calls in private, and never leave them unattended. While they think this behaviour protects their secrets, it actually raises suspicion. The sudden change in phone habits is a glaring red flag that something’s amiss.
2. They start working “late” more often.
The classic “working late” excuse is a favourite among cheaters. They use it to create time for their affair, thinking it’s a foolproof alibi. However, this tactic often fails when their story doesn’t match their actual workload or when they can’t provide specifics about their supposed projects. The inconsistencies eventually become apparent.
3. They suddenly care more about their appearance.
A cheater might start hitting the gym, buying new clothes, or changing their grooming habits. They believe these changes will go unnoticed or be appreciated. In reality, a sudden, unexplained focus on appearance often triggers suspicion, especially when coupled with other changes in behaviour.
4. They become unusually generous.
Some cheaters try to assuage their guilt by showering their partner with gifts or attention. They think this will distract from their infidelity or make their partner less likely to question their behaviour. However, this unexpected generosity often has the opposite effect, making their partner wonder about the motivation behind the sudden change.
5. They create new, private email accounts.
Cheaters often set up secret email accounts to communicate with their affair partners. They believe this keeps their deceit hidden from their primary email. This tactic can backfire when they accidentally leave these accounts logged in or when their partner notices them receiving messages at odd hours.
6. They become experts at gaslighting.
When confronted, cheaters often resort to gaslighting, making their partners doubt their own perceptions. They’ll deny obvious facts and manipulate situations to create confusion. While this may work short-term, consistent gaslighting eventually becomes apparent, damaging the relationship even further.
7. They start picking fights over small issues.
Some cheaters initiate arguments over trivial matters to create emotional distance or justify spending time away from home. They think this provides cover for their affair. However, this sudden increase in conflict often alerts their partner that something is wrong in the relationship.
8. They introduce their affair partner as a “friend.”
In an attempt to normalise their relationship with their affair partner, cheaters might introduce them as a friend or co-worker. They believe this openness will dispel suspicion. This tactic often fails when their partner picks up on the unusual chemistry or familiarity between them.
9. They become overly interested in their partner’s schedule.
Cheaters often show a sudden interest in their partner’s daily activities and whereabouts. They use this information to plan their rendezvous without getting caught. This newfound curiosity, especially if it’s out of character, can raise red flags for their partner.
10. They start using cash instead of cards.
To hide their spending on their affair, cheaters might switch to using cash for transactions. They think this leaves no paper trail. However, unexplained ATM withdrawals or a sudden reluctance to use shared accounts can arouse suspicion in their partner.
11. They create elaborate backstories.
Cheaters often craft complex lies to explain their absences or behaviours. They believe these detailed stories make their deceit more believable. In reality, keeping track of these fabrications becomes difficult over time, leading to inconsistencies that their partner eventually notices.
12. They accuse their partner of cheating.
In a classic case of projection, some cheaters accuse their partners of infidelity. They think this will deflect attention from their own actions. This tactic often backfires, as their unwarranted accusations and sudden paranoia about faithfulness raise suspicion about their own behaviour.
13. They become excessively affectionate.
Some cheaters overcompensate by becoming unusually loving and attentive. They believe this will quash any doubts their partner might have. However, this dramatic change in behaviour, especially if it feels forced or out of character, can actually trigger their partner’s suspicions.
14. They start deleting their internet history.
Cheaters often meticulously clear their browsing history to hide evidence of their affair. They think this erases all traces of their online activities. This tactic can fail when their partner notices the consistently empty history or finds other digital breadcrumbs the cheater overlooked.
15. They create a “work spouse” narrative.
Some cheaters try to normalise their close relationship with a co-worker by openly discussing their “work spouse.” They believe this transparency will prevent suspicion about the true nature of the relationship. This tactic often fails when the emotional intimacy with the “work spouse” becomes apparent, causing their actual partner to question the boundaries of this work relationship.
