Growing up without a healthy dose of praise or positive reinforcement can shape us in subtle ways.
It’s not always about obvious scars, but sometimes quiet tendencies that linger beneath the surface. If you’ve ever felt a little unsure of yourself, or hesitant to step into the spotlight, it might be worth exploring how your past experiences have shaped your present self. Here are some of the common traits that often emerge from a childhood lacking in encouragement.
1. Compliments feel weird.
When someone tells you that you did a good job or that they like your outfit, do you kind of squirm and want to change the subject? It’s not that you don’t appreciate it, but it can feel awkward when you’re not used to positive feedback. Growing up without much reinforcement can make compliments feel like a foreign language, leaving you unsure of how to respond. But hey, you deserve the praise, so try to soak it in (even if it feels a little strange at first).
2. Your inner critic is a bit of a jerk.
Do you have a voice in your head that’s constantly pointing out your flaws and mistakes? Yeah, we all have that inner critic to some extent, but yours might be working overtime. Growing up without much encouragement can make it hard to see your own strengths and accomplishments. But remember, everyone messes up sometimes. Try to be kinder to yourself and focus on the positive aspects of who you are.
3. Taking risks feels scary.
Whether it’s applying for a new job, starting a creative project, or simply putting yourself out there, taking risks can feel like jumping off a cliff. This fear of failure might be a hangover from a childhood where you weren’t encouraged to try new things or step outside your comfort zone. But hey, life is too short to play it safe all the time. Take a deep breath and go for it! The worst that can happen is you learn something new.
4. You crave validation from people.
Do you find yourself constantly seeking approval from friends, family, or colleagues? It’s natural to want to be liked and respected, but if you’re constantly looking to other people for validation, it might be a sign that you’re not getting enough positive reinforcement from within. Remember, you are your own best judge. Trust your instincts, value your own opinions, and don’t be afraid to march to the beat of your own drum.
5. Setting boundaries is a struggle.
Do you often say “yes” when you really want to say “no”? Do you find it difficult to stand up for yourself or express your needs? This people-pleasing tendency might be a leftover from a childhood where you were taught to prioritise other people’s needs over your own. But hey, it’s okay to put yourself first sometimes. Setting healthy boundaries is not selfish; it’s essential for maintaining healthy relationships and protecting your own well-being.
6. Perfectionism is your middle name.
Are you constantly striving for perfection in everything you do? Do you set impossibly high standards for yourself and feel like a failure if you fall short? This relentless pursuit of perfection might be a result of a childhood where you were never quite good enough. But guess what? Nobody’s perfect. It’s okay to make mistakes, and it’s okay to not be the best at everything. Focus on doing your best and let go of the rest.
7. Trusting people doesn’t come easy.
Do you have a hard time letting people in or believing that they have your best interests at heart? It’s understandable if you’re a bit wary of people, especially if you didn’t have the most supportive upbringing. But remember, not everyone is out to get you. There are good people out there who genuinely care. Take a chance on someone, and you might be surprised at how rewarding it can be.
8. Mistakes feel like the end of the world.
Does the thought of making a mistake send you into a spiral of self-doubt and anxiety? If you grew up in an environment where mistakes were met with criticism rather than understanding, it’s no wonder you’re afraid of messing up. But hey, mistakes are a part of life. Everyone makes them. In fact, they’re often the best way to learn and grow. So don’t be afraid to stumble now and then. Just pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and keep moving forward.
9. You’re endlessly curious.
Growing up without a constant stream of praise might have left you feeling a bit empty, but it also might have ignited a spark of curiosity within you. You crave knowledge, new experiences, and a deeper understanding of the world around you. This thirst for knowledge is your superpower! Embrace it, explore it, and let it lead you down unexpected paths.
10. You’re fiercely independent.
If you didn’t have a lot of support growing up, you probably learned to rely on yourself pretty early on. This self-reliance has made you fiercely independent and capable of handling whatever life throws your way. You’re not afraid to go it alone, and you don’t need anyone to hold your hand. This is a strength, but don’t forget that it’s okay to lean on other people sometimes, too.
11. Your sense of humour is…unique.
Let’s be honest, sometimes life can be a bit absurd. And if you didn’t have the most cheerful childhood, you might have developed a rather quirky or dark sense of humour as a way to cope. It’s not everyone’s cup of tea, but it’s what gets you through. Embrace your weirdness and don’t be afraid to laugh at the absurdity of it all.
12. You have a strong sense of justice.
Growing up without a lot of positive reinforcement can make you keenly aware of injustice and unfairness. You might be passionate about social causes, always rooting for the underdog, and fighting for what you believe in. This is a powerful force for good, but remember to be kind to yourself too. You can’t save the world if you’re burnt out.
13. You’re a deep thinker.
Without constant distractions and external validation, you’ve had plenty of time to ponder life’s big questions. You’re a deep thinker, always analysing, reflecting, and trying to make sense of the world around you. This is a gift, but it can also be a burden. Don’t get so lost in your thoughts that you forget to live in the moment.
14. You’re resilient as hell.
Growing up without a lot of support wasn’t easy, but it made you tough. You’ve faced challenges, setbacks, and disappointments, but you’ve always found a way to pick yourself up and keep going. This resilience is your secret weapon. It’s what will help you overcome any obstacle that comes your way.
15. You have a lot to offer the world.
Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Your experiences have shaped you into a unique and valuable individual. You have a perspective, a strength, and a depth of character that many people lack. So go out there and show the world what you’re made of. You have so much to offer, and the world is waiting for you.
