Dating can be complicated enough without following outdated or harmful “rules” that can make things even harder.
No matter what anyone says, believing these things (and following along with them!) in your dating life will inevitably leave you lonely and alone. Be a mature adult, don’t play games, and be your genuine self — that’s literally the only advice you need.
1. Playing hard to get will make you more attractive.
The idea that you need to play hard to get is outdated. Pretending to be unavailable only leads to confusion and miscommunication. Genuine interest is far more attractive than mind games, so it’s best to be honest about your feelings from the start.
2. You should wait days before responding to messages.
The “wait three days to reply” rule is unnecessary and can create unnecessary anxiety. If you like someone, there’s no harm in replying when you’re ready. Healthy communication is built on timely, honest exchanges, not on waiting games.
3. Never make the first move.
There’s no reason to wait for someone else to make the first move. If you’re interested, go ahead and take initiative. Holding back because of outdated expectations only limits your chances of connecting with someone you truly like.
4. You have to follow strict gender roles.
In today’s world, rigid gender roles in dating are out of place. It doesn’t matter who pays for dinner or who initiates dates—what matters is mutual respect and shared effort. Let go of expectations tied to traditional roles and focus on what works for both of you.
5. Never show too much interest early on.
The idea that showing too much interest too soon will scare someone off is misguided. Expressing genuine interest helps establish clear intentions and shows you’re emotionally mature. There’s no harm in being upfront about your excitement.
6. You need to play it cool and not show vulnerability.
Being vulnerable is an important part of building a deep connection. Holding back your true self only delays emotional intimacy. Drop the idea that vulnerability is weakness and embrace openness—it leads to more meaningful relationships.
7. Always follow the “half your age plus seven” rule.
The “half your age plus seven” rule is outdated and doesn’t take individual connection into account. Relationships should be based on compatibility, mutual respect, and shared values, not arbitrary age calculations.
8. You need to find “the one” immediately.
The pressure to find “the one” can make dating stressful and feel like a race against time. Instead of searching for perfection, focus on building healthy, enjoyable connections. Let things develop naturally without the pressure of unrealistic expectations.
9. Love should be instant and dramatic.
Source: Unsplash Love doesn’t have to be instant or dramatic to be real. Healthy relationships often grow over time, and building a strong foundation requires patience. Let go of the belief that intense emotions from the start are the only sign of a true connection.
10. You should always wait for the other person to define the relationship.
Source: Unsplash Waiting for the other person to define the relationship can lead to unnecessary stress. If you’re ready to talk about where things are heading, bring it up. Clear communication is key, and it’s perfectly okay to initiate that conversation.
11. If it’s not perfect, it’s not worth it.
Source: Unsplash No relationship is perfect, and waiting for something flawless is a setup for disappointment. Every relationship takes work, patience, and compromise. It’s better to focus on the quality of connection rather than an idealised version of what a relationship should look like.
12. You must never let your partner see your flaws early on.
Source: Unsplash Hiding your flaws only creates a false version of yourself that’s hard to maintain over time. Being real and showing your imperfections helps build trust and authenticity in the relationship. Drop the pressure to be perfect and embrace your true self.
13. You have to have everything in common to make it work.
Source: Unsplash It’s a myth that you and your partner need to share all the same interests and hobbies to have a successful relationship. Differences can bring balance and excitement to the relationship. What matters more is how you respect and support each other’s interests.
14. You shouldn’t date if you’re not ready for a serious relationship.
Source: Unsplash It’s okay to date even if you’re not looking for something serious right away. Dating can be about meeting new people, learning what you want, and enjoying the moment. Just be honest about your intentions from the start to avoid misunderstandings.
15. You need to follow specific timelines for relationship milestones.
Source: Unsplash There’s no set timeline for when things should happen in a relationship. Whether it’s moving in together, saying “I love you,” or getting engaged, it’s important to move at a pace that feels right for both of you. Let go of timelines and let your relationship grow naturally.
