Hey, we’ve all been there, feeling a little insecure at times. It’s totally normal, but sometimes our insecurities can manifest in ways we don’t even realise. These little habits and behaviours can inadvertently send signals that we’re not as confident as we’d like to be. With that in mind, here are some common things people do that might be making them look insecure, and how to flip the script.
1. You apologise excessively.
We all make mistakes, but saying “sorry” for every little thing, even when it’s not your fault, can make you seem less confident. It’s like you’re constantly seeking validation or approval from other people. Instead, own your actions, apologise when necessary, and move on.
2. You constantly seek reassurance from anyone who will give it to you.
While it’s nice to hear compliments and positive feedback, constantly fishing for reassurance from people can be a sign of insecurity. It’s like you’re looking for external validation to boost your self-esteem. Instead, try to focus on your own strengths and accomplishments, and remind yourself of your worth.
3. You put yourself down.
Self-deprecating humour can be funny in small doses, but if you’re constantly putting yourself down, it can be a major turn-off. People might start to believe the negative things you say about yourself, and it can make you seem less confident and less capable. Focus on your positive qualities and try to speak kindly to yourself.
4. You compare yourself to everyone around you constantly.
We all have those moments where we scroll through social media and feel a pang of envy, but constantly comparing yourself to anyone and everyone is a recipe for insecurity. Remember, everyone’s journey is different, and what you see on social media is often a curated highlight reel. Focus on your own goals and celebrate your own unique qualities.
5. You can’t take a compliment.
When someone pays you a compliment, do you deflect it, downplay it, or even deny it? This can make you seem like you don’t believe in your own worth. Instead, try to graciously accept compliments and own your achievements. A simple “thank you” is all it takes.
6. You avoid eye contact.
Eye contact is a powerful form of non-verbal communication. When you avoid eye contact, it can make you seem shifty, untrustworthy, or lacking in confidence. Practice making eye contact with people you interact with, even if it feels uncomfortable at first. It’s a small change that can make a big difference in how you’re perceived.
7. You fidget nervously.
Fidgeting, biting your nails, or playing with your hair can be signs of nervousness and insecurity. It can make you seem anxious or unsure of yourself. Try to be aware of your body language and make an effort to stay calm and composed.
8. You’re always trying to please everyone.
It’s impossible to please everyone all the time, and constantly trying to do so can be exhausting and erode your sense of self. It’s okay to say “no” sometimes and prioritise your own needs. Remember, being a people-pleaser doesn’t make you a good person; it just makes you a doormat.
9. You brag about yourself constantly.
While it’s great to be proud of your accomplishments, constantly bragging about yourself can be a major turn-off. It can make you seem arrogant, self-centred, and insecure about your achievements. Instead, let your actions speak for themselves and allow people to recognise your strengths.
10. You blame other people for your mistakes.
Source: Unsplash Taking responsibility for your actions is a sign of maturity and self-awareness. If you always find someone else to blame when things go wrong, it shows a lack of accountability and can damage your relationships. Own up to your mistakes, learn from them, and move on.
11. You take criticism poorly.
Source: Unsplash Nobody likes being criticised, but it’s an inevitable part of life. If you react defensively or lash out when someone offers constructive feedback, it can make you seem insecure and unwilling to grow. Instead, try to see criticism as an opportunity for improvement and listen to what other people have to say.
12. You’re overly defensive.
Source: Unsplash If you constantly feel the need to defend yourself, even when no one is attacking you, it can be a sign of insecurity. It suggests that you’re constantly on guard, afraid of being judged or criticised. Try to relax and trust that people have good intentions. Not every comment is a personal attack.
13. You try to control everything.
Source: Unsplash A little planning is healthy, but trying to control every aspect of your life and the lives of those around you is a sign of insecurity. It suggests that you don’t trust yourself or anyone else to handle things without your input. Let go of the need for control and embrace the unpredictable nature of life. You might be surprised at how much more relaxed and happy you feel.
14. You gossip about people.
Source: Unsplash Gossiping might seem like a harmless way to bond with people, but it can actually reveal your own insecurities. If you’re constantly talking about other people’s flaws and shortcomings, it might be because you’re trying to feel better about yourself. Focus on your own life and stop comparing yourself to anyone else.
15. You lie to make yourself look better.
Source: Unsplash Everyone embellishes a little now and then, but if you’re constantly lying about your achievements, experiences, or possessions, it’s a clear sign of insecurity. Be honest and authentic, and don’t feel the need to inflate your ego to impress people. Your true self is enough.
