You probably don’t consider yourself a “special snowflake,” but you still might be triggered by certain things people say or do.
You’re only human, after all! However, when this does happen, it’s easy to spiral into frustration, hurt, or anger. The right words—whether spoken out loud or to yourself—can help you stay grounded and navigate the moment. Here’s what to try to stay calm and process how you’re feeling in a healthy way.
1. “I’m feeling overwhelmed right now.”
Sometimes, just naming what’s happening can ease some of the intensity. Saying this aloud helps you acknowledge your feelings without judgement and lets other people know that you need a moment to process. It’s not about fixing the situation instantly—it’s about giving yourself permission to feel, without pressure to explain it all right away.
2. “This isn’t about them; it’s about how I feel.”
Triggers often resurface old emotions that have little to do with the present moment. Maybe someone’s tone reminds you of a past hurt, or a situation feels uncomfortably familiar. Saying this can help you separate the current situation from past experiences, allowing you to respond with more intention rather than raw emotion. It’s a reminder that not every moment needs to carry old baggage forward.
3. “I need a moment to breathe.”
There’s nothing wrong with pausing when you’re triggered. Letting people know you need a moment gives you time to step back and ground yourself before reacting. It’s a simple yet effective way to set a boundary, even in high-pressure situations. A few deep breaths can help you re-centre, giving you the space to approach things with more clarity.
4. “I don’t have to fix this right now.”
Triggers can create a sense of urgency, making you feel like you need to fix or address everything immediately. This often leads to unnecessary stress or snap decisions. Remind yourself that it’s okay to take time to process. Not every problem needs an instant solution, and not every emotion needs to be solved in the moment. Give yourself permission to pause and revisit it later.
5. “It’s okay to feel this way.”
Triggers can make you feel like your emotions are “wrong” or “too much.” But they’re not. Telling yourself it’s okay to feel how you feel can soften the edges of the experience and remind you that emotions are a natural part of being human. You don’t need to justify or dismiss what you’re experiencing—it’s valid simply because it’s happening to you.
6. “What do I need right now?”
When you’re triggered, asking yourself this question can shift your focus from what’s wrong to what might help. Maybe it’s a glass of water, a walk outside, or simply sitting quietly. Identifying what you need can be a grounding step toward self-care. It also helps you take control of the moment, even in small ways, by prioritising your own well-being.
7. “This feeling won’t last forever.”
Triggers can feel overwhelming, but they’re temporary. Reminding yourself that the intensity will pass can help you stay grounded. Sometimes, we get caught up in the fear that the feeling will take over completely, but acknowledging its impermanence can make it more manageable. You’ve felt difficult emotions before, and you’ve come out the other side—you can do it again.
8. “I’m safe right now.”
Triggers can sometimes make you feel like you’re back in a difficult or unsafe situation. Grounding yourself in the present by saying this aloud or in your head can help you reconnect with the reality of where you are and remind you that you’re okay in this moment. Look around, notice your surroundings, and remind yourself of what’s real right now—it’s a small but powerful step.
9. “It’s not my job to control everything.”
Source: Unsplash Feeling triggered often comes with a sense of losing control. Reminding yourself that you don’t have to manage or control every situation can ease the pressure. Letting go, even slightly, can help you refocus on what matters most. Remember, you’re allowed to let things unfold without feeling responsible for the outcome.
10. “I’m allowed to take up space.”
Source: Unsplash Triggers sometimes make you shrink, feeling like you’re too much or in the way. This reminder can be a powerful affirmation that your feelings, presence, and voice are valid. You’re not a burden for experiencing strong emotions. In fact, owning your emotions and expressing them healthily can be a form of strength.
11. “I’m doing the best I can right now.”
Source: Unsplash Self-compassion is critical when you’re triggered. This phrase helps you remind yourself that even if you’re struggling, you’re trying, and that’s enough. It’s okay if your “best” looks different on tough days—what matters is that you’re showing up for yourself in whatever way you can.
12. “I don’t have to explain myself.”
Source: Unsplash When you’re triggered, there might be pressure to justify your emotions or explain why you’re upset. This reminder can help you protect your energy and focus on feeling your emotions rather than defending them. You don’t owe anyone a detailed explanation in the heat of the moment—your feelings are valid, even if they’re messy or hard to articulate.
13. “What can I control in this moment?”
Triggers often come from feeling helpless. Shifting your focus to something you can control—like your breathing, posture, or tone of voice—helps you feel more grounded. Even small actions can help you regain a sense of agency over the moment. It’s about finding those little anchors when everything else feels uncertain.
14. “I can ask for help if I need it.”
Feeling triggered can feel isolating, but you don’t have to face it alone. Whether it’s reaching out to a trusted friend, a family member, or a therapist, this reminder lets you know it’s okay to lean on other people for support when things feel too heavy. Asking for help doesn’t mean you’re weak—it means you’re taking care of yourself.
15. “This is hard, but I’ve handled hard things before.”
Triggers can make you feel like you’re not strong enough to cope, but this simple statement reminds you of your resilience. You’ve faced challenges before, and you’ve come out stronger each time. Trusting in your ability to navigate tough emotions can help you feel steadier in the moment. Remind yourself that getting through difficult moments is proof of your strength, even when it doesn’t feel that way right now.
