Being a parent isn’t easy, and we all mess up sometimes.
However, some things a pretty obviously wrong. While nobody’s perfect, there are some behaviours that just scream “terrible parent” a little louder than others. I’m not here to judge you, since we’re all just trying to figure out this parenting thing. That being said, a little self-awareness never hurt anyone. Here are some of those not-so-proud parenting moments we’ve all witnessed (or maybe even experienced).
1. You use your kids as a bargaining chip.
Source: Unsplash Whether it’s to get your way with your partner or to manipulate a situation, using your kids as leverage is a major no-no. It’s unfair to them and creates a toxic environment where they feel like pawns in your game. Remember, your kids are not tools to be used for your own benefit. They are individuals with their own feelings and needs, and they deserve to be treated with respect.
2. You constantly compare your kids to other people’s kids (or maybe even their sibling).
Maybe your friend’s kid is potty-trained earlier, or your neighbour’s child is a maths whiz. So what? Every kid develops at their own pace, and comparing them to other people only creates unnecessary pressure and resentment. Instead of focusing on what your kids aren’t doing, celebrate their unique strengths and encourage them to be the best versions of themselves.
3. You embarrass your kids in public.
Source: Unsplash We’ve all seen that parent who yells at their kid in the grocery store or makes fun of them in front of their friends. It’s humiliating and can leave lasting emotional scars. Remember, kids are still learning and growing, and they deserve your support and encouragement, not public shaming.
4. You put your own needs before your kids’.
While it’s important to take care of yourself, your kids should always be your top priority. If you’re constantly putting your own desires (whether it’s work, social life, or hobbies) ahead of your kids’ needs, it’s a sign you might be neglecting your responsibilities as a parent.
5. You don’t listen to your kids.
Kids have a lot to say, even if it’s not always the most profound wisdom. Brushing off their concerns, dismissing their feelings, or ignoring their attempts to communicate can make them feel unheard and unimportant. Take the time to listen to what your kids have to say, even if it’s just about their favourite cartoon character or what they had for lunch. You might be surprised at what you learn.
6. You overshare on social media.
Source: Unsplash In the age of social media, it’s easy to get caught up in the “perfect parent” image. But sharing every detail of your kids’ lives online can be embarrassing for them and even put them at risk. Think twice before posting those bath time photos or sharing details about their personal struggles. Remember, your kids deserve privacy and respect, both online and offline.
7. You use physical punishment as a disciplinary tool.
Hitting, spanking, or any other form of physical punishment is never okay. It’s harmful, ineffective, and teaches kids that violence is an acceptable way to solve problems. There are many other disciplinary methods that are both more effective and more respectful of your child’s dignity. Try to find resources and support if you’re struggling to find alternative ways to discipline your child.
8. You neglect your child’s emotional needs.
Source: Unsplash Kids need more than just food, shelter, and clothes. They also need love, attention, and emotional support. If you’re constantly dismissive of their feelings, ignore their cries for help, or fail to provide a nurturing environment, you’re neglecting their emotional well-being. This can have long-lasting consequences for their mental health and relationships.
9. You use your child’s achievements to boost your own ego.
Source: Unsplash It’s great to be proud of your kids, but bragging about their achievements as if they’re your own is a whole different ballgame. Instead of genuinely celebrating their accomplishments, you make it all about you and your parenting skills. Remember, your kids are individuals with their own dreams and goals, not trophies for you to display.
10. You play favourites among your children.
Source: Pexels Every child is different, and it’s okay to have different relationships with each of them. However, openly favouring one child over another can be incredibly damaging. It can create sibling rivalry, resentment, and insecurity. Treat each of your children with love, respect, and fairness, even if you have different personalities or interests.
11. You constantly criticise your child’s appearance or choices.
Telling your child they’re too fat, too skinny, or their clothes are ugly can seriously impact their self-esteem and body image. Similarly, belittling their choices, whether it’s their friends, hobbies, or career aspirations, can make them feel like you don’t support or respect them. Instead of focusing on the negatives, try to build them up with positive reinforcement and constructive criticism.
12. You involve your child in adult problems or conflicts.
Burdening your child with your marital problems, financial worries, or other adult issues is not only inappropriate but also emotionally damaging. Kids should feel safe and secure, not like they have to be the adults in the family. Keep your adult problems to yourself, and get support from other adults or professionals if needed.
13. You don’t trust your child or give them autonomy.
Helicopter parenting is not doing anyone any favours. If you’re constantly hovering over your child, questioning their every move, or making decisions for them, you’re not allowing them to develop independence and self-reliance. Trust your child to make their own choices (within reason), and let them learn from their mistakes. It’s an essential part of growing up.
14. You use guilt or manipulation to control your child’s behaviour.
Manipulative tactics like guilt trips, emotional blackmail, or playing favourites can be incredibly harmful to a child’s emotional development. It teaches them that love and approval are conditional and can lead to feelings of anxiety, insecurity, and low self-esteem. Instead of resorting to manipulation, try to communicate openly and honestly with your child, and set clear boundaries with positive reinforcement.
15. You prioritise your social life over spending time with your child.
Kids crave quality time with their parents, and if you’re constantly prioritising your social life over them, it sends a message that they’re not a priority. Make an effort to spend time with your child regularly, even if it’s just a few minutes each day. Play games, read stories, have meaningful conversations, or simply cuddle on the couch. These moments of connection are crucial for building a strong and loving relationship with your child.
