Not everyone’s ready or willing to commit, though sadly, some people won’t admit it outright.
Instead of being upfront about what they’re looking for when it comes to a relationship, they drop hints through vague, non-committal phrases that say more than they realise. Here’s what to listen out for. If you hear any of these, chances are, they’re avoiding putting all their eggs in one basket and aren’t likely to give you the safety and consistency you’re looking for.
1. “Let’s just see where this goes.”
This one sounds chill, but it often means they don’t want to define anything. They like the idea of being with you but aren’t ready to label it, lock it in, or make it exclusive. It keeps things fun and easy for them without the pressure of expectations.
It might be fine at first, especially if you’re not rushing, either. However, if weeks or months pass with no clearer direction, it usually means they’re not planning to take it further. They’re cruising comfortably in the grey zone.
2. “I’m just really focused on myself right now.”
This sounds like personal growth, and sometimes it genuinely is. Of course, when it pops up in response to conversations about exclusivity or commitment, it can be a polite way of saying, “I’m not making room for you.”
It creates a convenient buffer. They’re not rejecting you directly, but they’re making it clear that anything serious might interfere with their solo journey. That usually means they’re not interested in adjusting that anytime soon.
3. “I don’t want to ruin what we have.”
On the surface, this sounds sweet, but underneath, it often means they’re happy with the setup as is—and they’re not keen to risk changing the dynamic, even if you want more. It’s a less direct way of saying, “This casual thing works for me, so let’s not rock the boat.” Unfortunately, that usually keeps your needs sidelined while they continue enjoying the benefits of connection without commitment.
4. “I’m not seeing anyone else… right now.”
That little “right now” changes everything. It sounds like a good sign at first, but when someone adds those words, they’re leaving the door cracked open. They’re not promising anything past this moment.
It’s technically honest, but strategically vague. They’re letting you assume you’re exclusive without actually committing to it. That kind of phrasing gives them the flexibility to change course whenever they please, without being “technically” dishonest.
5. “You’re amazing—I’m just not ready for something serious.”
This one gets used a lot, and it softens the blow. They’re saying you’re great, just not enough to change their mind about what they want right now. It’s meant to flatter, but it usually feels more confusing than kind. It often means they want the closeness, chemistry, and connection, but not the responsibility of something official. It leaves you questioning whether to wait or walk away, and that uncertainty usually works in their favour, not yours.
6. “I don’t really do labels.”
This can be about rejecting traditional relationship norms, but let’s be real, it’s also often about keeping things flexible. If they resist every attempt to define what you are to each other, it’s worth questioning why. Not everyone needs a label, but if they’re completely allergic to anything that sounds like commitment, it usually says more about their intentions than their belief system. They’re dodging clarity for a reason.
7. “Let’s just have fun and not overthink it.”
This one’s designed to keep things light and carefree, but it can also be a subtle warning not to get too attached. It puts you in a space where feelings are fine, as long as they don’t come with expectations. If your version of fun includes emotional depth and growing together, and theirs means staying surface-level, you might be headed in different directions. One person’s “fun” can become another’s slow heartbreak.
8. “I’ve just got out of something.”
Fair enough—we all need time after a breakup. However, if this line keeps coming up every time things start getting deeper, it’s usually a way of hitting the brakes without taking full responsibility. They’re telling you, “Don’t expect too much from me,” without having to directly say it. If they’re still using that breakup as a shield months down the line, it’s probably less about healing and more about hedging.
9. “You deserve someone who can give you more.”
It sounds noble, but it often means they know they’re not meeting your needs, and don’t plan to. Rather than change their behaviour, they frame it like they’re doing you a favour by keeping their distance. It’s a convenient way to step back without feeling like the bad guy. But let’s be honest: if someone really believed you deserved more, they’d either step up—or let you go clearly, not confusingly.
10. “I’m just going with the flow.”
This usually means they don’t want to commit to a direction, timeline, or outcome. It’s a favourite for people who want the perks of closeness without the accountability of a clear path. Going with the flow sounds easy, but if you’re the only one wondering where this is going, you’re probably drifting while they’re anchoring elsewhere. Be careful not to get swept away while they stay stationary.
11. “Let’s not put pressure on this.”
When someone uses this line often, it’s less about enjoying the moment and more about dodging any step forward. It’s a way to avoid commitment while making you feel like wanting more is unreasonable. Wanting clarity isn’t pressure; it’s just honesty. But this phrase reframes your need for answers as a threat to the vibe. It usually means they’re comfortable keeping things vague while you quietly stay stuck in limbo.
12. “I’m not sure what I want right now.”
This may sound like self-awareness, but it’s also a very convenient stall tactic. If someone genuinely doesn’t know what they want, they shouldn’t be stringing you along while they figure it out. It keeps you hanging while they get all the perks of your company and care. If they stay unsure for too long, it’s not confusion, it’s avoidance. You deserve more than being someone’s emotional placeholder.
13. “Things are great—why change anything?”
If everything feels good, but they still resist taking things to the next level, this is the line they’ll use. It subtly guilt-trips you into thinking that wanting more will somehow ruin what you have. However, if “great” means you give your energy, attention, and love without knowing where you stand, it’s only great for them. Sometimes, keeping things exactly the same benefits one person far more than the other.
14. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
It sounds like care, but it’s often a softening of the blow. They’re preparing you for disappointment while trying to maintain access to the relationship. The irony? Not being clear is what actually hurts. This creates a dynamic where they avoid responsibility while still holding onto you. It frames their withdrawal as kindness—but in reality, it’s more of a quiet step away without fully exiting.
15. “I’m not ready for a relationship, but I don’t want to lose you.”
This one tugs at the heartstrings. They admit they can’t commit, yet they still want you in their life. It’s a way of asking you to stay without giving you what you want.
It puts you in limbo, hoping they’ll change their mind while they enjoy your support, affection, and presence. However, wanting to keep you close without stepping up is one of the clearest signs they’re keeping their options open—and that your heart deserves more certainty than that.
