When someone keeps you dangling, acting flirty one minute, distant the next, it can really mess with your head.
You’re not sure if you’re imagining things or if they’re actually playing games, but deep down, you can feel it: the vibe’s off. If you’re done with the confusion but don’t want to come across angry or needy, these texts help you call it out without losing your cool. They’re simple, honest, and make it clear you’re not here for mixed signals.
1. “Just trying to figure out if you’re actually interested, or just bored.”
This one cuts straight to the heart of it without getting aggressive. It shows you’ve clocked their hot-and-cold energy, and you’re not afraid to name it. If they’re leading you on, they’ll either squirm or vanish. Either way, you’ve got your answer. And if they are genuinely interested but haven’t realised how their behaviour comes across, this gives them a wake-up call. You’re putting the ball in their court, and letting them know you’re not here to play guessing games.
2. “You don’t have to reply if you’re not feeling it. I’d just rather know.”
Sometimes the clearest message is the calmest one. This text doesn’t guilt them or beg for closure. It just says, in plain terms, that honesty would be appreciated. If they ghost you after this, you already know the kind of person they are. It also keeps your dignity intact. You’re not chasing. You’re giving them a chance to step up without making it weird. And if they don’t? That’s still an answer worth having.
3. “I don’t really do ‘half-interested.’ Totally cool if you’re not into this, just don’t want to waste anyone’s time.”
This strikes that balance between chill and firm. It tells them you’re self-respecting and not here to be strung along. Plus, it gives them a graceful exit if they’ve just been messing about with no real intent. If they’re serious but distracted, this is their nudge to either get it together or walk away. You’re not chasing, just being clear about what kind of energy you’re available for.
4. “Sometimes your messages are great. Sometimes it’s like I don’t exist. What’s going on?”
Here, you’re calling out the inconsistency directly. It’s not rude or emotional; it’s just honest. If they care, they’ll explain. If they don’t, they’ll ignore it. Either way, you’re not stuck in the dark anymore. This one is especially helpful if you’re not sure whether they’re aware of how confusing they’re being. It opens the door to a real conversation, or gives them a chance to admit they’re not that into it.
5. “Are we doing something here, or just casually texting forever?”
If someone’s been chatting for weeks with no real movement—no plans, no progression—this is a light but pointed way to bring it up. You’re not pushing, but you’re also not pretending you’re fine with this dragging out forever. It gives them a clear opportunity to either suggest something or admit they’re not serious. If they can’t answer this one, they probably never had anything real in mind.
6. “No pressure, but I’m looking for something that feels mutual. Just checking where you’re at.”
This one works well if you’re still open to seeing where it goes but need some honesty. It shows maturity without backing down from your standards. You’re not demanding because they can take it or leave it, but you’re being real. It also makes it easier for someone to be honest with you, which saves everyone time. If they’re not matching your energy, now they know it’s not going unnoticed.
7. “Totally fine if you’re not into this. Just not looking to get strung along.”
Source: Unsplash Here, you’re giving them the out, and showing you’re not bitter, just done with the grey area. It’s direct, but still keeps your tone light and grounded. You’re not begging for attention, you’re just moving with clarity. This message tends to shake people who are leading you on. They might scramble to say the “right” thing, but don’t let that sway you unless their actions change too.
8. “You’ve been a bit all over the place. Are you unsure, or just not that interested?”
Source: Unsplash Sometimes the most useful thing you can do is ask the question they won’t answer unless you put it in writing. This one is blunt without being mean. It puts them on the spot just enough to make them show their hand. It also sends the message that you’re not afraid to talk directly. If they can’t handle a little honesty now, chances are they’re not emotionally available for anything deeper anyway.
9. “I’m not chasing anyone. Just looking for something that makes sense.”
Source: Unsplash This text reminds them calmly but firmly that you’re not here to beg for scraps. You’re after something mutual and clear, not confusing and one-sided. If they’re treating you like a backup option, this lets them know you’ve clocked it. And if they’re decent but flaky, it might help them snap out of whatever lazy pattern they’ve fallen into. But more importantly, it keeps you grounded in your own standards.
10. “Not trying to pressure you into anything, I just don’t want to keep investing in something that’s not real.”
Source: Unsplash This hits that perfect middle ground. You’re not rushing them, but you are making it clear that your time and energy are valuable. If they’re dragging you along out of convenience, this might be the moment they let go, or step up. Either way, it’s a self-respecting move. And if you have to send it, chances are they already weren’t giving you what you need in the first place.
11. “Hey, I’m not sure what you’re looking for here. Just feels a bit one-sided lately.”
Source: Unsplash It’s simple, clear, and calls out the imbalance without making a big emotional scene. If they’re leading you on, they’ll probably dodge or deny. But if they care, even a little, they’ll take the chance to clarify things. People who are stringing you along usually rely on your silence. Speaking up breaks the pattern. This message doesn’t demand anything, but it definitely puts the situation in motion.
12. “No worries if this isn’t what you want. I’d just rather know than guess.”
Source: Unsplash One of the calmest ways to draw a line. There’s no accusation, no drama. Just a clear request for honesty. Most people respect that—if they’re worth your time, anyway. It also leaves you feeling like you handled it with grace. You didn’t explode or over-explain. You just said what needed to be said, and let them decide if they’re in or out.
13. “You’re cool, but this whole situation is starting to feel a bit pointless.”
Source: Unsplash Sometimes a bit of casual honesty works best. You’re not insulting them, but you’re making it clear that the limbo stage isn’t working for you anymore. This one can trigger a quick reaction: either real effort, or silence. And honestly, either outcome works in your favour. You’re not here for vibes alone. You want something that makes sense, and this message puts that out there without making it heavy.
14. “I’m looking for something real, not a situationship built on texting and nothing else.”
Source: Unsplash Harsh? Maybe. Necessary? Often. If they’ve been dragging things out with no intention of anything real, this gets to the point fast. You’re not insulting them; you’re just being honest about what you want. And if they try to act confused or offended by this kind of message? They weren’t actually unclear. They were hoping you’d stay unsure. This puts an end to that.
15. “I think we’re in different places, and that’s okay. Just wanted to say it instead of pretending it’s all fine.”
Source: Unsplash This one’s for when you’ve already decided you’re done. It’s graceful, honest, and leaves things without resentment. You don’t need to wait for a big blow-up to walk away from something that’s not working. This way, you get to leave with your self-respect fully intact. No last-ditch attempts, no guilt, no confusion—just clarity, finally spoken out loud.
