Your partner is meant to be your biggest cheerleader, but if you’re accomplishing big things while they’re lagging behind, they might start to get jealous of you.
Their jealousy may not be immediately apparent, and they’d probably never come out and admit how they’re feeling and why, but their behaviour will tell on them every single time. Here are some things a jealous partner might do. If you notice them happening in your relationship, call them out!
1. They act like your accomplishments are no big deal.
You’ve just landed that promotion you’ve been working towards for ages. Instead of celebrating with you, your partner shrugs it off with an “It’s not that big of a deal” or “Anyone could’ve done that.” This dismissive attitude might be their way of coping with feeling inferior. Try involving them in your success — ask for their advice on how to tackle your new responsibilities.
2. They compete with you over trivial things.
Suddenly, everything’s a competition. Who can chop vegetables faster? Who knows more obscure facts about 90s TV shows? If your partner’s turning everyday life into a constant contest, they might be trying to prove they’re just as good as you. Suggest cooperative activities where you work together instead of against each other.
3. They make backhanded compliments.
“You look great in that dress. It really hides your problem areas.” Ouch. If your partner’s compliments always come with a sting in the tail, they might be trying to knock you down a peg. Call them out on it gently. “I know you mean well, but that comment hurt. Could you rephrase it more positively?”
4. They’re overly critical of your friends and family.
Your best mate’s “too loud”, your sister’s “showing off” with her new car. If your partner’s constantly finding fault with your loved ones, they might be trying to isolate you or make you doubt your relationships. Encourage them to spend more time with your friends and family to see their positive qualities.
5. They check your phone or social media a lot.
You catch them scrolling through your messages or obsessively checking who’s liked your Instagram posts. This invasion of privacy often stems from insecurity and jealousy. Have an open conversation about trust and boundaries in your relationship.
6. They make jokes about you being “out of their league”.
It might seem like a compliment at first, but if they’re constantly joking about you being too good for them, it could be masking real insecurity. Reassure them about why you value them and your relationship.
7. They get moody when you spend time with others.
Girls’ night out? Work drinks? Suddenly, your partner’s in a foul mood. They might fear you’ll realise you’re better off without them. Include them in your plans when appropriate, but also stress the importance of maintaining individual friendships.
8. They try to one-up your stories.
You’re telling a funny anecdote from work, and they interrupt with their own “better” story. This competitive storytelling might be their way of proving they’re just as interesting as you. Try actively asking for their stories and opinions to make them feel valued.
9. They’re overly possessive in public.
Arm always around your waist, constant PDAs — it might seem sweet, but if it’s excessive, they could be marking their territory. Have a chat about why they feel the need to be so physically possessive.
10. They fish for compliments constantly.
“Do you think I’m smarter than your ex?” “Am I the best you’ve ever had?” If they’re always looking for reassurance, they might be feeling insecure in comparison to you. Build up their confidence with genuine, unprompted compliments.
11. They belittle your hobbies or interests.
Your passion for vintage teapots is “weird”, your love of true crime podcasts is “morbid”. If they’re always putting down your interests, they might be jealous of the time and passion you invest in them. Invite them to participate in your hobbies to help them understand your enthusiasm.
12. They’re uncomfortable with your success at work.
You’re excited about a new project, but they seem irritated when you talk about it. If your career is taking off while theirs is stagnant, it could breed resentment. Offer to help them with their own career goals, or brainstorm ways they could find more fulfilment at work.
13. They make comments about your exes all the time.
“I bet your ex wouldn’t have done this for you.” If they’re constantly bringing up your past relationships, they might be feeling insecure about measuring up. Reassure them that you’re with them for a reason, and the past is in the past.
14. They try to change your appearance.
Subtle suggestions about your clothes, hair, or weight might seem like helpful advice, but could be attempts to make you less attractive to others. Have a frank discussion about why they feel the need to change you.
15. They’re reluctant to introduce you to their friends or family.
If they’re dragging their feet about integrating you into their social circle, they might be worried you’ll outshine them. Express your desire to be part of their life and meet the people important to them. Offer to host a small gathering to make the introduction more comfortable for everyone.
