Many people pride themselves on being laid-back, but sometimes what appears as a relaxed attitude is actually a coping mechanism known as compartmentalisation.
This psychological strategy involves mentally separating conflicting thoughts or emotions to avoid dealing with them. While it can be temporarily useful, excessive compartmentalisation can lead to emotional disconnection and unresolved issues. Here are 15 signs that you might be compartmentalising rather than truly being laid-back.
1. You rarely feel strong emotions about anything.
If you find yourself feeling neutral about most situations, even those that should evoke a reaction, you might be compartmentalising. True laid-back individuals still experience a range of emotions; they just process them more easily. Compartmentalisation can lead to emotional numbness as a defence mechanism.
2. You’re always “fine” when asked how you’re doing.
Source: Unsplash Constantly responding that you’re “fine” or “okay,” regardless of what’s happening in your life, can be a sign of compartmentalisation. Genuinely laid-back people are usually more honest about their state of mind, even if they’re handling stress well. If you’re automatically dismissing your true feelings, you might be boxing them away rather than processing them.
3. You have difficulty recalling details of stressful events.
Compartmentalisation can sometimes lead to a type of selective memory. If you struggle to remember specifics about challenging or emotional situations, it might be because you’ve mentally filed them away rather than fully processing the experience. Truly laid-back individuals can usually recall these events without significant distress.
4. You’re great in a crisis but struggle with day-to-day emotions.
Source: Unsplash Being calm under pressure is admirable, but if you find it easier to handle major crises than to deal with everyday emotional situations, you might be compartmentalising. This discrepancy often occurs because crisis mode allows you to focus solely on the task at hand, while daily life requires more continuous emotional engagement.
5. You have a hard time connecting your feelings to events.
Source: Unsplash If you often feel upset or anxious but can’t pinpoint why, it could be a sign of compartmentalisation. Laid-back people generally have a good understanding of what triggers their emotions. Compartmentalisation can disrupt this connection, leaving you with unexplained feelings that seem to come out of nowhere.
6. You’re always busy and avoid downtime.
Source: Unsplash Constantly filling your schedule and avoiding quiet moments alone can be a way of compartmentalising. By keeping yourself perpetually occupied, you might be avoiding thoughts or feelings you’re not ready to face. Truly laid-back individuals are usually comfortable with periods of inactivity and self-reflection.
7. You have vastly different personas in different areas of your life.
While it’s normal to adjust your behaviour somewhat for different situations, having dramatically different personas for work, home, and social settings can indicate compartmentalisation. Laid-back people tend to have a more consistent sense of self across various aspects of their lives.
8. You often feel disconnected from your past.
Source: Unsplash If your past experiences, especially difficult ones, feel like they happened to someone else, you might be compartmentalising. This disconnection can make it seem like you’re over past traumas when in reality, you’ve just boxed them away. Genuinely laid-back people can typically reflect on their past without feeling overly detached.
9. You have trouble making decisions that involve emotions.
Compartmentalisation can make it challenging to integrate emotions into decision-making processes. If you find yourself paralysed when facing choices that involve feelings, rather than logically weighing emotional factors, it might indicate you’re compartmentalising rather than being laid-back.
10. You’re often surprised by other people’s reactions to your behaviour.
Source: Unsplash If you frequently find yourself caught off guard by how people respond to your actions or words, it could be a sign of compartmentalisation. This disconnect can occur because you’re not fully integrating your actions with their potential emotional impact. Laid-back individuals typically maintain better awareness of how their behaviour affects other people.
11. You have a hard time expressing your needs in relationships.
Difficulty articulating your emotional needs in relationships can stem from compartmentalisation. You might struggle to connect with or communicate these needs because they’re mentally filed away. Truly laid-back people, while not demanding, are usually able to express their needs when necessary.
12. You often feel like you’re on autopilot.
Source: Unsplash If you frequently feel like you’re going through the motions of life without really engaging, it could be a sign of compartmentalisation. This sense of detachment is different from the easy-going nature of a laid-back person. It’s more akin to emotional disengagement as a coping mechanism.
13. You have unexplained physical symptoms.
Compartmentalisation can sometimes lead to psychosomatic symptoms. If you experience frequent headaches, stomach issues, or other physical complaints without clear medical causes, it might be your body’s way of expressing the emotions you’ve mentally boxed away. Laid-back people typically have a better mind-body connection.
14. You struggle with intimacy.
Compartmentalisation can make deep emotional intimacy challenging. If you find it difficult to let other people in or to be vulnerable, even in close relationships, it might be because you’re habitually sectioning off your emotions. Laid-back individuals, while not overly dramatic, are usually capable of emotional openness when it counts.
15. You have trouble integrating feedback about yourself.
If you struggle to incorporate feedback about your behaviour or personality into your self-image, it could be a sign of compartmentalisation. This difficulty arises because the feedback doesn’t fit neatly into the mental boxes you’ve created. Truly laid-back people are often more receptive to feedback and can integrate it more easily into their self-perception.
