We’re all a bit judgemental sometimes — it’s one of our more unpleasant (and unfair) human traits.
However, most people can catch themselves when they’re being overly harsh in their thinking about the people around them and snap out of it. Sadly, if you can relate to any of the following habits and behaviours, you’re probably more judgemental than most people, and it might just be holding you back in life.
1. You form opinions about people before knowing them.
If you’ve already decided someone’s personality based on their clothes, accent, or social media posts, you might be jumping to conclusions. First impressions are powerful, but they don’t tell the whole story. Try pausing and giving people a chance to show you who they really are before making up your mind.
2. You critique people’s choices even when they don’t affect you.
Whether it’s how someone spends their money or the way they decorate their home, you often have an opinion—and it’s not always positive. Ask yourself: does this really matter, or am I projecting my own preferences? Letting go of judgment here can make your own life feel lighter.
3. You constantly compare yourself to other people (and usually think you’re better).
When you’re sizing up everyone around you, it’s hard not to let judgments creep in. Whether you think you’re doing better or worse than everyone else, these comparisons only feed negativity. Focusing on your own journey instead of measuring it against other people’s lives can help you feel more at peace.
4. You assume the worst in people’s intentions.
When someone says or does something, do you automatically think they have a hidden agenda? Jumping to conclusions about people’s motives can make interactions unnecessarily tense. Try giving people the benefit of the doubt—it’s surprising how often people are just trying their best.
5. You secretly feel smug about your own choices.
Maybe you think your lifestyle is just a little better than everyone else’s—your taste in music, your workout routine, your favourite coffee order. It’s okay to have preferences, but assuming they’re “better” can create a mental barrier between you and other people. Remind yourself that different doesn’t mean wrong.
6. You can’t resist commenting on people’s appearances.
Whether it’s a stranger at the grocery store or a friend’s new haircut, you always seem to have a critique ready. Instead of focusing on flaws, try finding something positive to appreciate—it’s a habit that can make you and those around you feel better.
7. You feel annoyed when people make mistakes.
If someone forgets a deadline or makes an awkward comment in a meeting, you might find yourself mentally rolling your eyes. Remember, everyone slips up from time to time—including you. Practising empathy can help you become more forgiving and understanding.
8. You judge people for liking things you don’t enjoy.
Whether it’s reality TV, pineapple on pizza, or a cheesy pop song, you might feel the urge to scoff at other people’s preferences. But liking something you don’t doesn’t make someone “less.” Let people have their joy—it doesn’t cost you anything.
9. You avoid certain people because they “bother” you.
Everyone has quirks, but if you find yourself avoiding people simply because they’re different from you, it’s worth reflecting on why. Challenging your assumptions about people might lead to surprising connections and new perspectives.
10. You’re quick to give unsolicited advice.
If you often tell people how they “should” handle their lives, even when they didn’t ask, you might be unintentionally judgemental. Offering support is great, but sometimes people just need someone to listen. Practice holding space without jumping in with a solution.
11. You expect people to behave the way you would.
When people don’t approach situations the way you think they should, it’s easy to feel frustrated. But not everyone has the same priorities, experiences, or perspectives as you. Accepting that there’s more than one “right” way can make life a lot less stressful.
12. You feel uncomfortable around people who are different from you.
Whether it’s someone from a different culture, someone with a lifestyle you don’t understand, or someone with drastically different interests, discomfort can sometimes lead to judgment. Instead of retreating, get curious—learning about other people can help bridge the gap and expand your worldview.
13. You often criticise yourself, too.
Judgemental thoughts aren’t always directed outward. If you’re constantly critiquing yourself, it’s easier to project that negativity onto other people. Working on self-compassion can create a ripple effect, making you kinder to both yourself and those around you.
14. You hold grudges over small things.
If someone makes a mistake or says something you don’t like, you might find it hard to let go. But holding on to minor grievances only builds resentment. Learning to forgive—even for small things—frees up emotional space for positivity and connection.
15. You don’t notice how often you judge.
If judgemental thoughts have become second nature, you might not even realise how often they’re happening. Start paying attention to your inner dialogue—catching those thoughts is the first step to shifting them. With practice, you can replace judgment with curiosity and kindness.
How to change
If you’ve recognised yourself in some of these signs, don’t worry—I’m not here to beat up on you. Becoming less judgemental is a skill, and like any skill, it can be learned. Start by pausing when you feel a judgemental thought creeping in and asking yourself why it’s there. Is it rooted in insecurity, fear, or misunderstanding? From there, try to reframe your perspective: look for the good, embrace differences, and remind yourself that nobody—including you—has it all figured out. Over time, these small shifts can add up, making you more compassionate toward both yourself and everyone else.
