Another day, another terrible dating trend to have to be on the lookout for. Ugh.
‘Breadcrumbing’ is when someone shows you just enough attention to keep you interested, but not enough to actually progress the relationship in any meaningful way. It’s a way of ensuring you’re still on the back burner if they decide they can be bothered, but spoiler alert: they never will be. Here’s how you know this is happening to you — if it is, you’re better off cutting your losses now rather than continuing to waste your time.
1. They’re hot one minute and cold the next.
One day they’re texting you all the time, and the next, they’re completely MIA. This rollercoaster of attention leaves you guessing when, or if, you’ll hear from them again. It’s frustrating because just when you start to lose interest, they pop back into your life, keeping you hooked.
2. They make vague plans that never materialise.
Source: Unsplash They’ll throw out vague ideas like “We should hang out soon” or “Let’s get together sometime,” but when you try to lock something down, they go silent or get evasive. You’re left waiting for plans that never materialise, and you’re starting to wonder if they’re serious about making time for you.
3. They put minimal effort into conversations.
When you do chat, it’s like pulling teeth to get more than a few words out of them. Their responses are short, and they don’t seem all that engaged in keeping the conversation going. It feels like you’re the one doing all the heavy lifting just to keep things moving along.
4. They come back right when you’re about to move on.
Just as you’re about to write them off, they magically reappear with a sweet message or casual invitation. It’s no coincidence—they sense when you’re pulling away and reel you back in just enough to keep you interested. The timing always feels a little too perfect, doesn’t it?
5. They’re active on social media but don’t respond to you.
Source: Unsplash You see them liking posts, sharing stories, and commenting all over social media, but your messages are left on read or ignored. It’s like they’ve got time for the whole world, just not for you. It’s frustrating and leaves you wondering why they’re not giving you the attention you deserve.
6. Their behaviour is all over the place.
One day they’re flirty and giving you all the attention, and the next, they’re distant and uninterested. It’s confusing because you’re never quite sure where you stand. It leaves you constantly guessing about their feelings and where the relationship is headed, if anywhere at all.
7. They dodge any talk about the relationship.
Every time you try to bring up what’s going on between you two, they either change the subject or act like they’re not ready for “labels.” It keeps you in limbo, always wondering where things are going but never getting any real answers.
8. They’re affectionate in private but distant in public.
When you’re alone, they’re sweet, affectionate, and everything you want them to be. But as soon as you’re out in public or around friends, they act like you’re just another buddy. It leaves you feeling confused and wondering if they’re hiding something or just not that into you.
9. They keep you separate from their personal life.
You’ve been seeing them for a while, but you’ve yet to meet their friends or family. They keep you compartmentalised, and it feels like you’re stuck in a corner of their life that doesn’t overlap with the rest. It makes you wonder if they’re serious about you at all.
10. They’re always available when they need something.
Whenever they need something—a favour, attention, or just someone to vent to—they’re suddenly all about you. But when you need something from them? They’re nowhere to be found. It’s a one-sided dynamic that leaves you feeling used.
11. They leave comments on your social media but don’t reach out directly.
They’ll like your posts or drop a comment here and there, but they never take it to the next level and actually reach out to you. It gives the impression that they’re still interested, but in reality, it’s just breadcrumbs. They’re keeping you on the hook without putting in the effort to really connect.
12. They talk about the past, but never make new plans.
Source: Unsplash They love reminiscing about the fun times you’ve had together, but when it comes to planning something new, they’re always too busy or vague. It keeps you emotionally tied to the past while making no progress toward the future, which is exactly what keeps you stuck.
13. They’re all about spontaneous meet-ups, but never commit to planned ones.
If you happen to be nearby, they’re eager to meet up on the spot. But when you try to set something up in advance, they get evasive or don’t commit. You’re left feeling like an afterthought, only called upon when it’s convenient for them.
14. They give just enough compliments to keep you interested.
Every so often, they’ll say something really sweet or make you feel special. But it’s just often enough to keep you interested, without giving you the kind of consistent affirmation that would make you feel secure. You’re left hanging on for the next compliment, wondering when or if it’ll come.
15. They always have excuses for their behaviour.
When you call them out on their flaky behaviour, there’s always an excuse. It’s work, family, personal stress—whatever the reason, there’s always something. While some of these excuses may be legit, the constant stream of them makes it clear they’re not prioritising you.
