Confidence is a great quality, but sometimes it can be a little intimidating, even if you don’t mean it to be.
Self-assurance is attractive, but if you’re not careful, it can be off-putting. Here are some signs that your confidence might be a little too strong for some people, and how to adjust your approach if you want to make them feel more comfortable.
1. People often avoid making eye contact with you.
Eye contact is a powerful form of non-verbal communication, BetterUp notes. When someone avoids looking you in the eye, it could mean they’re feeling intimidated. They might see your confidence as a threat, or they might feel like they can’t measure up to you. It’s not your fault, but it’s something to be aware of. Try softening your gaze a bit or breaking eye contact occasionally to give them a break.
2. They often defer to your opinions and decisions.
While it’s flattering to have your opinions valued, if people always agree with you or let you make all the decisions, it could be a sign they’re intimidated by your confidence. They might feel like their own ideas aren’t as good as yours or that they’ll be judged if they disagree. Make an effort to actively solicit their input and create a safe space for them to share their thoughts without fear of judgment.
3. They apologise excessively, even when they haven’t done anything wrong.
Do people often say “sorry” around you, even when it’s not warranted? This could be a sign they’re feeling intimidated and trying to appease you. They might worry about upsetting you or causing conflict, so they overcompensate by apologising for things that aren’t their fault. Reassure them that you value their opinions and that it’s okay to disagree with you sometimes.
4. They rarely challenge your ideas or offer alternative perspectives.
Healthy debate and discussion are a natural part of any relationship. If people are hesitant to challenge your ideas or offer alternative perspectives, it could be because they’re afraid of your reaction. They might worry that you’ll dismiss their ideas or make them feel stupid. Encourage open dialogue and create a safe space for people to share their thoughts, even if they differ from your own. Show them that you value diverse opinions and are open to learning from other people.
5. They often compliment you on your appearance or achievements.
While genuine compliments are always nice, if people are constantly showering you with praise, it could be a sign they’re trying to ingratiate themselves with you. They might feel like they need to flatter you to earn your approval or avoid your wrath. Try to deflect some of the compliments and focus on their own positive qualities. Let them know that you value them for who they are, not just for what they can do for you.
6. They seem hesitant to approach you or initiate conversations.
If people seem shy or hesitant around you, it could be because they’re intimidated by your confidence. They might feel like they don’t have anything interesting to say or that you wouldn’t be interested in talking to them. Make an effort to be more approachable and friendly. Initiate conversations, ask questions, and show genuine interest in what they have to say. This will help them feel more comfortable around you and open up more.
7. They’re quick to agree with you, even when they don’t really agree.
If people are always nodding along with your opinions, even when they have reservations or disagreements, it could be a sign they’re intimidated by your assertiveness. They might feel like they can’t voice their true thoughts or that their opinions don’t matter. Encourage them to speak their minds and assure them that you value their honesty, even if it means disagreeing with you.
8. They avoid making eye contact during conversations.
Avoiding eye contact can be a sign of discomfort or insecurity. If someone is intimidated by your confidence, they might avoid making eye contact with you during conversations. They might look down, fidget, or focus their attention elsewhere. While this can be a subtle cue, it’s worth paying attention to. If you notice this behaviour, try to put them at ease by softening your gaze, smiling, and using open body language.
9. They are always trying to prove themselves.
It’s like they have something to prove all the time. They might overwork, take on too many responsibilities, or constantly seek new challenges to show how capable they are. They might even downplay their struggles and exaggerate their successes to maintain the image of perfection. This constant need for validation can be exhausting for them and can make it difficult for people to connect with them on a deeper level.
10. They are dismissive of people’s opinions and experiences.
They might interrupt, talk over, or simply ignore people who they deem less intelligent, knowledgeable, or successful. They might also dismiss other people’s feelings or experiences as irrelevant or unimportant. This dismissive attitude can be hurtful and isolating, and it creates an environment where people feel like their voices don’t matter.
11. They have difficulty accepting compliments.
While most people appreciate a genuine compliment, someone who is overly confident might have trouble accepting them. They might deflect praise, downplay their accomplishments, or even feel uncomfortable when someone says something nice about them. This can stem from a fear of vulnerability or a belief that they have to maintain an image of perfection. It can also be a sign of deep-seated insecurity, as they might not truly believe the positive things people say about them.
12. They have a hard time admitting when they need help.
Asking for help can be considered a sign of weakness by someone who is overly confident. They might believe that they have to handle everything on their own, or that asking for help is a sign of failure. This can lead to burnout, isolation, and missed opportunities for growth and connection. It’s important to remember that everyone needs help sometimes, and asking for it is a sign of strength, not weakness.
13. They often have a “my way or the highway” mentality.
They might be rigid in their thinking, unwilling to compromise, or insistent on doing things their way, even when it’s not the best approach. They might dismiss alternative viewpoints or suggestions, and they might become defensive or angry when their ideas are challenged. This kind of inflexibility can make it difficult to collaborate or work effectively with other people, and it can create unnecessary conflict and tension.
14. They often have difficulty building and maintaining relationships.
While their confidence might initially attract people, their lack of vulnerability, empathy, and willingness to compromise can make it difficult to form lasting connections. They might struggle to connect with people on a deeper level, as they’re too focused on their own needs and desires. This can lead to a cycle of superficial relationships, where they’re always seeking new people to impress but never truly forming deep bonds.
15. They often mistake confidence for arrogance.
Source: Unsplash There’s a fine line between confidence and arrogance, and some people have a hard time distinguishing between the two. True confidence is about believing in yourself and your abilities, while still being humble and respectful. Arrogance, on the other hand, is about feeling superior to everyone and looking down on them. While confidence can be a positive trait, arrogance can be a turn-off and can make it difficult to build genuine connections with people.
