A lot of people keep their cards close to their chest, and you’d never guess just how tough their life has been.
However, no matter how quiet they are about their struggles, there are subtle signs that tend to sneak through and offer a hint of what they’ve been through. While that’s no excuse for prying into their past, noticing the little tells that someone’s been through a lot in life can at least help us be more compassionate and empathetic, and that’s always a good thing.
1. They’re ridiculously self-sufficient.
They can fix a clogged toilet, cook dinner for 10, and file their taxes without batting an eyelid. Life didn’t give them much choice but to figure things out on their own. While it’s impressive, their hyper-independence sometimes makes them feel isolated when they actually need support.
2. They apologise way too much.
“Sorry” might as well be their catchphrase, even when it’s not their fault. It’s a tell-tale sign they’ve spent too much time trying to avoid conflict. Reminding them that not everything is their responsibility can gently help them unlearn this habit.
3. They laugh at everything—even the serious stuff.
Their sense of humour is unmatched, especially when it comes to laughing off life’s hardships. It’s their way of coping, but it also shows they’ve faced more than their fair share of challenges. Behind the jokes, though, they might secretly wish someone would ask how they’re really feeling.
4. They’re overly protective of other people, especially vulnerable ones.
They’ll go to great lengths to ensure their loved ones are safe and cared for. It’s a sign they’ve seen what happens when no one steps up. Their protectiveness can be their love language, even if it sometimes seems excessive.
5. They’re quick to spot potential problems.
Their hyper-awareness might seem like overthinking, but it comes from living through unpredictable situations. They’re always prepared for the worst, which is both a skill and a burden. Acknowledging their foresight can validate their instincts while helping them feel less on edge.
6. They’re unreasonably hard on themselves.
Perfectionism or constant self-criticism often points to someone who had to grow up too fast. They’ve likely internalised tough lessons, but reminding them to celebrate their achievements can make a difference. They might not even realise how much they’ve accomplished until someone points it out.
7. They keep their emotions on lockdown.
Opening up isn’t their strong suit, and vulnerability might feel foreign to them. It’s a sign they’ve been let down or judged in the past. Showing consistent kindness and patience can slowly encourage them to lower their guard.
8. They’re shockingly good at reading people.
They’ll pick up on your mood before you even say a word. This skill likely comes from navigating tricky relationships or situations. While it’s impressive, it can also leave them feeling exhausted from constantly monitoring their surroundings.
9. They hate being fussed over.
Compliments or grand gestures make them squirm because they’re not used to being the centre of attention. It’s a sign they’ve had to go without much support. Deep down, they might secretly appreciate the effort, even if they don’t know how to show it.
10. They’re fiercely independent.
“I’ve got it” might as well be their mantra, even when they don’t. It’s a sign they’ve learned to rely on themselves above all else. Sometimes, they just need to hear that letting people help doesn’t make them weak.
11. They’re amazing at finding solutions.
Problem-solving is second nature to them because they’ve had to make do with what they had. Whether it’s fixing a broken gadget or navigating life’s curveballs, they’re pros. They might not realise that this skill is rare and deserves recognition for how impressive it is.
12. They avoid drama like the plague.
If there’s one thing they’ve had enough of, it’s unnecessary chaos. They’ll keep their distance from drama because they’ve already lived through enough of it. Their boundaries are their way of protecting their peace, and respecting them shows you value their need for calm.
13. They light up when someone shows genuine kindness.
A small act of kindness can mean the world to them because it stands out from the struggles they’ve faced. Their gratitude is a reminder of how much those little moments matter. Over time, these gestures can help rebuild their faith in people.
14. They’re incredibly humble.
You won’t catch them bragging about their accomplishments, no matter how impressive they are. It’s likely because they’ve had to work hard for everything they have. Their humility often hides just how much strength and determination they’ve shown over the years.
15. They’re always cheering people on.
They’re your biggest supporter because they know how much a little encouragement can mean. Their positivity often comes from a place of knowing what it’s like to feel unsupported. Sometimes, the encouragement they give everyone around them is exactly what they wish they’d received themselves.
