When you have feelings for someone, the hope is that they’ll reciprocate. Sadly, that doesn’t always happen.
They may not want to come right out and tell you that they’re not feeling it (or you), but if you pay attention to the signs, it becomes pretty obvious. Here’s how you know the person you like doesn’t find you attractive but doesn’t want to upset you by saying so.
1. They always bring a friend along when you hang out.
When someone is truly interested, they’ll want to spend time with you one-on-one to build a closer connection. If they’re constantly inviting a friend to tag along whenever you make plans, it’s a sign they’re trying to keep things casual. They’re likely trying to create distance, so things don’t feel too intimate, showing that they’re not looking for anything romantic.
2. They use the word “friend” a lot when talking to you.
If they can’t go five minutes without calling you “friend” or talking about how great of a friend you are, they’re probably trying to subtly make sure you don’t get any romantic ideas. It’s their way of reinforcing that the relationship is purely platonic. They might not want to hurt your feelings, so they drop “friend” into conversation as a constant reminder of how they see you.
3. They avoid physical contact.
Physical touch can say a lot about how someone feels. If they’re dodging hugs, keeping things to quick handshakes, or just seem uncomfortable with any kind of touch, it’s a sign they don’t want to send the wrong message. They’re likely keeping the physical distance to prevent any romantic feelings from developing on your end.
4. They set you up with other people.
When someone is trying to set you up with other people, they’re not-so-subtly saying, “I’m not interested, but maybe someone else will be.” It’s a way of showing they care about you and want you to be happy, just not with them. They’re trying to steer you in another direction, hoping you’ll focus on someone else instead.
5. They never compliment your appearance.
If you notice they never say anything about how you look, even when you’ve clearly made an effort, they might be avoiding giving you the wrong impression. Compliments about your sense of humour or talents are safe territory, but they steer clear of commenting on your appearance because they don’t want to lead you on or make things awkward.
6. They talk about their “type” and it’s nothing like you.
When they start talking about the kind of person they’re into, and it’s clear you’re not even close to fitting the description, it’s a subtle way of saying you’re not their type. They might not want to be blunt, so they describe a dream partner that’s the total opposite of you. It’s their way of putting distance between you without having to outright reject you.
7. They’re always “busy” when you suggest one-on-one plans.
Sure, people can be busy, but if they’re constantly too swamped to hang out one-on-one but seem to have no problem attending group events, it’s a sign they’re not interested in getting closer to you. They might be trying to keep things light and avoid any situation that feels too much like a date.
8. They steer conversations away from romantic topics.
If you try to bring up dating, relationships, or anything in the romantic realm, and they quickly change the subject, they’re likely trying to keep things from getting too personal. They don’t want to give you any ideas or open up a conversation that might lead to awkwardness. Avoiding romantic topics is their way of keeping things in the friend zone.
9. They emphasise how much they value your friendship.
If they’re always talking about how important your friendship is, it’s likely they’re trying to make sure you understand that’s all they want from you. It’s a sweet way of reinforcing the boundaries they’ve set, but it’s also a sign they’re not interested in anything more than friendship. They might really appreciate you, but just not in a romantic way.
10. They never ask about your love life.
Source: Unsplash When someone cares about you, they usually take an interest in your romantic life. If they avoid asking about who you’re seeing or how your love life is going, it might be because they don’t want to open the door to any romantic possibilities with you. By not asking, they’re keeping that part of your life at a distance, making sure things don’t get personal in that way.
11. They give you dating advice… a lot.
Source: Unsplash If they’re constantly giving you tips on how to improve your dating game or attract other people, they’re probably trying to nudge you in a different direction. They care enough to want you to find someone, just not them. It’s a subtle way of encouraging you to look elsewhere for love without directly saying they’re not interested.
12. They mention their ex or crushes often.
When someone keeps bringing up their ex or talking about a current crush, they’re likely trying to let you know their heart is occupied. It’s a not-so-subtle way of showing that they’re emotionally unavailable. They don’t want to lead you on, so they make sure you know their attention is focused on someone else.
13. They avoid eye contact or long conversations.
Source: Unsplash If they can’t hold your gaze or keep conversations short and surface-level, it’s a sign they’re trying to avoid any deep connection. They might feel uncomfortable because they don’t want to mislead you into thinking there’s something more there. Keeping things brief helps them maintain emotional distance.
14. They’re overly polite and formal with you.
If their interactions with you feel a little stiff or overly polite, it might be because they’re trying to keep you at arm’s length. Being overly formal can be their way of maintaining boundaries and ensuring there’s no misunderstanding about their intentions. It’s their way of keeping things neutral and non-romantic.
15. They don’t remember details about you.
Source: Unsplash If they constantly forget things you’ve told them—like your birthday, favourite band, or plans you’ve mentioned—it might be because they’re not fully invested in getting closer to you. It’s not that they don’t like you, but they’re not paying attention to the details because they don’t see the relationship developing into anything more.
