When someone’s going through a rough time, they don’t always admit it out loud.
Maybe they’re in denial about the fact that their mental health has declined, or they’re ashamed and don’t want anyone to think less of them. But even if they don’t come right out and admit that they’re struggling, it quickly becomes apparent in the things they say. Here’s how you know someone isn’t doing well mentally and emotionally.
1. “I’m just tired.”
This is about being tired of trying, tired of feeling this way, tired of pretending things are okay. The exhaustion runs deeper than lack of sleep — it’s a bone-deep weariness that rest doesn’t seem to fix. When someone keeps saying they’re tired, especially when they’re getting enough sleep, they might be carrying a weight that’s becoming too heavy to bear.
2. “I’ll be fine, don’t worry about me.”
People struggling often use this phrase to deflect attention, even when they desperately need support. They’ve got used to handling things alone, convinced they don’t want to burden anyone with their problems. They might say this automatically, having learned that showing vulnerability sometimes pushes people away. What they really mean is, “I don’t know how to ask for help.”
3. “I’ve just been really busy.”
When someone starts disappearing from their usual social circles, “busy” can be code for overwhelmed. They might be isolating themselves because interaction feels too demanding. The busyness often masks an inability to face social situations or maintain relationships that usually matter to them. Their calendar might actually be full of nothing but trying to survive each day.
4. “I can’t remember the last time I felt like myself.”
This reflection often comes from people who’ve been struggling for so long they’ve lost touch with their baseline. Their sense of identity has become tangled with their struggles. They look in the mirror and see someone they don’t recognise anymore. The distance between who they are and who they used to be feels impossible to bridge.
5. “I just need some time.”
While everyone needs alone time, this phrase can signal someone’s retreating from life entirely. They might be pulling back from friendships, family, or activities they once enjoyed. Time alone has become less about recharging and more about hiding. The isolation feels safer than facing a world that seems too overwhelming to navigate.
6. “Nothing really matters anyway.”
This dismissive phrase often masks a deep sense of hopelessness. It’s not just about one situation — it’s about everything feeling pointless. The person might be losing their ability to find meaning or joy in things that once sparked interest. Their world has become gray, and they’re struggling to remember why anything should matter.
7. “I’m sorry for being so negative.”
People who apologise constantly for their emotions often carry deep shame about their struggles. They’ve internalised the idea that their feelings are a burden to other people. Each apology reinforces their belief that they’re somehow wrong or broken for feeling the way they do. The real pain lies in believing their authentic feelings are too much for anyone else to handle.
8. “I just can’t deal with people right now.”
When basic social interaction becomes overwhelming, someone’s inner resources might be completely depleted. Simple things like answering texts or making small talk feel impossibly draining. They’re not being antisocial — they’re in survival mode, conserving what little energy they have just to make it through each day.
9. “Everything is fine.”
The shorter and more dismissive the response, the more it might hide. People who are struggling often use this phrase as a shield, hoping nobody will probe deeper. They’ve learned to answer automatically, keeping their responses brief to avoid revealing the chaos beneath the surface. The word “fine” becomes a wall between their reality and the outside world.
10. “I wish I could sleep forever.”
This isn’t about being sleepy — it’s about wanting to escape consciousness. Sleep becomes attractive because it’s the only time they don’t have to actively fight their thoughts. They’re not necessarily talking about death, but rather expressing a deep desire for relief from constant emotional pain. The phrase reveals how exhausting it is to simply exist in their current state.
11. “I don’t want to be a burden.”
People who use this phrase have often learned to see their needs as impositions. They downplay their struggles and resist asking for help, convinced they’re protecting people by suffering alone. Their sense of self-worth has become so damaged that they view their very presence as a weight other people shouldn’t have to carry.
12. “I’m just going through a phase.”
Minimising serious struggles as temporary phases often indicates someone’s trying to convince themselves things will magically improve. They might be afraid to acknowledge the full scope of their pain. By labelling it as ‘just a phase,’ they’re trying to hold on to hope while simultaneously avoiding facing the reality of their situation.
13. “Nobody really gets it.”
This expression of loneliness goes beyond feeling misunderstood. It reveals how isolated someone feels in their struggle, convinced their experience is somehow unique or unreachable. They might have tried to explain their feelings before and felt dismissed or misinterpreted. The phrase captures both their isolation and their despair at finding real connection.
14. “I’m not doing anything important.”
When someone consistently dismisses their daily activities or achievements, they’re often deep in self-deprecation. Basic tasks might be taking all their energy, but they’ve lost perspective on how much they’re actually accomplishing by simply keeping going. Their inner critic has convinced them that survival isn’t an achievement worth noting.
15. “I don’t know why I’m like this.”
This confession often comes from people who’ve spent endless hours trying to understand their struggles. They’ve analysed themselves to exhaustion, looking for reasons or solutions. The phrase reveals both confusion and self-blame, wondering if they’re somehow responsible for their pain. It’s the sound of someone who’s tired of fighting an enemy they can’t see or understand.
