Narcissists usually love themselves too much to ever love (or even believe in) God, but religious narcissists do exist.
They’re particularly hard to spot and extremely dangerous, largely because they cloak their self-serving behaviour in faith, making their behaviour harder to recognise and even more harmful. Plus, they tend to manipulate beliefs to justify their toxic patterns. Here’s why they’re a serious concern.
1. They twist faith to control people.
It’s not about spiritual guidance; it’s about dominance. A religious narcissist will bend sacred teachings to suit their own agenda, making people feel unworthy or sinful for questioning them. This manipulation can leave people doubting their own instincts, creating a toxic cycle of guilt and dependency. The result? A group of followers who feel trapped and unable to trust their own judgement.
2. They act holier-than-thou to avoid blame.
Everything they do is cloaked in righteousness, making it nearly impossible to challenge them without feeling like you’re attacking their faith. If they’re called out, they quickly deflect by accusing other people of misunderstanding their “good intentions.” This pious act keeps their behaviour unchecked while silencing those brave enough to speak up.
3. They use spiritual authority as a power move.
Whether they’re the head of a church group or just someone with an air of religious expertise, they weaponise their position to discourage dissent. People are often hesitant to challenge someone who appears so devoted, which gives them free rein to manipulate. The trust they exploit makes their actions even more damaging.
4. They guilt-trip anyone who questions them.
If someone calls them out, they’ll respond with loaded statements like, “I thought you were a person of faith,” or “How could you doubt me when I’m doing God’s work?” These tactics make people second-guess their concerns, turning valid criticism into a moral quandary. Over time, this undermines confidence and leaves people feeling powerless.
5. They thrive on applause, not authenticity.
Their acts of charity or public declarations of faith are more about attention than genuine kindness. They’ll boast endlessly about their good deeds, ensuring everyone knows just how pious they are. The need for admiration turns spirituality into a performance, leaving their “audience” feeling used and disillusioned.
6. They dismiss other people’s spiritual experiences.
Source: Unsplash If someone’s experience doesn’t align with their narrative, they belittle it, acting as though their perspective is the only valid one. Doing so stifles diversity within faith communities and makes people feel excluded or inadequate. Their dismissal of different paths to faith limits growth and creates a suffocating atmosphere.
7. They cherry-pick scripture to dodge blame.
Source: Unsplash When criticised, they’ll whip out a conveniently chosen verse to justify their actions, even if it’s wildly out of context. By wrapping their behaviour in scripture, they create confusion and make it harder for anyone to hold them accountable. This misuse of sacred texts destroys trust in genuine spiritual teachings.
8. They demand loyalty as proof of faith.
Questioning them is equivalent to questioning your devotion—or so they claim. They frame loyalty to themselves as a sign of spiritual commitment, making people fear being ostracised if they speak out. This creates an unhealthy power dynamic, where leaving their influence feels like betraying your beliefs.
9. They’re quick to judge and condemn, but always excuse themselves.
A religious narcissist loves to point out other people’s flaws, but their own missteps are either ignored or justified as “part of a bigger plan.” Their judgemental attitude creates insecurity, keeping everyone around them constantly second-guessing themselves. Meanwhile, they remain conveniently above reproach.
10. They prey on vulnerable people.
Those needing guidance or struggling with tough times in life are prime targets for a religious narcissist. They’ll position themselves as the answer to every problem, only to exploit that trust for personal gain. Whether it’s emotional, financial, or spiritual, they take far more than they ever give back.
11. Their image matters more than their faith.
They’re less concerned with practising genuine spirituality and more focused on being seen as a pillar of the community. Their carefully curated image often hides hypocrisy, as they fail to live by the principles they preach. This disconnection leaves followers feeling betrayed when the facade inevitably cracks.
12. They fake empathy to manipulate.
While they might preach about compassion, their actions rarely back it up. Any empathy they display is often calculated to gain trust or reinforce their authority. Once the performance is over, their lack of genuine care becomes glaringly obvious, leaving those around them feeling used.
13. They create divisions to maintain power.
Whether it’s turning community members against each other or creating an “us vs. them” dynamic, they thrive on conflict. By positioning themselves as the solution to the chaos they’ve sown, they consolidate their influence. This divisiveness weakens community bonds and leaves people feeling isolated.
14. They resist accountability.
When their actions are questioned, they’re quick to shift blame or insist that their intentions were misunderstood. Invoking spiritual authority, they dismiss criticism as a personal attack on their faith. This lack of accountability keeps their harmful behaviour unchecked and unresolved.
15. They normalise spiritual abuse.
Over time, their manipulation becomes so ingrained that people start to see it as normal. They destroy trust in spiritual practices by using them as tools for control, leaving lasting damage to those under their influence. This abuse doesn’t just harm individuals—it can fracture entire communities.
