Being a parent is one of the most rewarding roles you’ll ever play, but it’s definitely not without its challenges.
Raising intelligent, kind, considerate children is hard work, and given that these little people are unique human beings with their own likes, dislikes, and personalities, it’s really tough to know if you’re doing the right thing at any given time. Here are some parenting pills that, while tough to swallow, will help you be a better caregiver for your child.
1. Your child isn’t a mini-version of you.
Source: Unsplash It’s natural to see ourselves in our children, but it’s important to remember that they are their own people. As I already mentioned, they’ll have their own personalities, interests, and goals that may differ completely from yours. Accepting this can be tough, especially when their choices don’t align with your expectations, but it’s vital for allowing them to develop their own identity.
2. You can’t protect them from every hurt.
As parents, we instinctively want to shield our children from pain and disappointment. However, experiencing and learning to cope with life’s ups and downs is important for their emotional development. While it’s hard to watch them struggle, letting them face challenges and experience occasional failures helps build resilience and problem-solving skills.
3. Your children will remember how you made them feel, not what you bought them.
It’s easy to fall into the trap of showering children with material things, especially when time is short, and you went without when you were a kid. However, what truly stays with children are the emotions associated with their upbringing. The love, attention, and emotional support you provide are far more valuable and memorable than any toy or gadget.
4. Consistent discipline is more important than being their friend.
While it’s wonderful to have a close, friendly relationship with your children, it shouldn’t come at the cost of effective parenting. Setting boundaries, enforcing rules, and providing consistent discipline are crucial for a child’s development. It may not always make you popular, but it will help shape them into responsible adults.
5. Your mistakes will impact your children.
No parent is perfect, and the choices we make, both good and bad, will influence our children. This realisation can be daunting, but it’s important to remember that it’s not about being flawless. It’s about acknowledging our mistakes, learning from them, and showing our children how to do the same.
6. You can’t force your children to like each other.
If you have more than one child, it’s natural to want them to be best friends. However, sibling relationships are complex and can’t be forced. While you can encourage kindness and respect between siblings, their individual personalities and experiences will shape their relationship. Some siblings become close friends, others may not, and that’s okay.
7. Your children’s success isn’t a reflection of your worth as a parent.
It’s easy to tie our sense of parental success to our children’s achievements. However, a child’s academic, athletic, or career accomplishments don’t define your worth as a parent. Good parenting is about providing love, support, and guidance, not about producing trophy children.
8. You won’t always like your child’s behaviour.
Loving your child unconditionally doesn’t mean you’ll always like their actions or decisions. There will be times when their behaviour frustrates or disappoints you. It’s important to separate the child from the behaviour, addressing the issues without making them feel unloved or unworthy.
9. Your children aren’t your therapists.
While open communication is important, it’s important to remember that your children aren’t equipped to handle adult problems. Oversharing about financial troubles, relationship issues, or other adult concerns can burden them unnecessarily. It’s important to have appropriate adult support systems for such matters.
10. You can’t be everything to your child.
As much as we’d like to fulfil every role in our child’s life, it’s not possible or healthy. Children benefit from a variety of influences and relationships. It’s okay, and even beneficial, for them to have other role models, mentors, and sources of support in addition to their parents.
11. Your children will lie to you sometimes.
Source: Pexels It’s disheartening when children lie, but it’s a normal part of development. Children may lie to avoid punishment, to please other people, or to test boundaries. While it’s important to address dishonesty, it’s equally important to create an environment where they feel safe telling the truth.
12. Technology will be a constant battle.
Source: Unsplash In today’s digital age, managing screen time and online safety is an ongoing challenge. It’s tempting to either completely restrict or give in entirely, but the reality is that finding a balance requires constant adjustment as your child grows and technology evolves. It’s a marathon, not a sprint.
13. Your parenting style might need to change for each child.
What works perfectly for one child might be ineffective for another. Each child is unique, with different needs, personalities, and responses to various parenting approaches. Being flexible and willing to adapt your parenting style for each child can be challenging but is often necessary.
14. You’ll have to let them go.
From their first day of school to moving out for university or work, watching your children become independent can be heart-wrenching. However, preparing them for independence is one of the most important jobs as a parent. Letting go gracefully, while remaining a supportive presence, is a difficult but necessary part of parenting.
15. Self-care isn’t selfish, it’s necessary.
Source: Unsplash Many parents feel guilty about taking time for themselves, viewing it as selfish. However, taking care of your own physical and mental health is paramount. You can’t pour from an empty cup, and looking after yourself enables you to be a better, more patient parent. It’s not just okay to prioritise self-care; it’s essential.
