These days, our phones are basically extensions of ourselves, and many of us guard them with our lives.
However, if you’re in a committed relationship, and you start being secretive or hiding what you’re doing on your device from your partner, there’s a serious problem. Everyone deserves privacy, of course, but here’s why transparency about your phone around your partner is so important.
1. You can’t have a healthy relationship without trust.
Every time you snatch your phone away or turn it face down, you’re telling your partner you don’t trust them. This behaviour plants seeds of doubt that can grow into full-blown paranoia. Open communication and transparency are key to maintaining a healthy relationship. By keeping your phone visible, you’re showing your partner that you have nothing to hide.
2. It creates unnecessary suspicion.
Even if you’re not doing anything wrong, hiding your phone makes it look like you are. Your partner’s imagination will run wild, conjuring up all sorts of scenarios about what you might be hiding. This unnecessary suspicion can lead to arguments, accusations, and a breakdown in communication. By being open with your phone, you can quash these misunderstandings before they even start.
3. It’s a form of emotional manipulation.
Hiding your phone can be a way of controlling your partner’s emotions. You’re keeping them on edge, making them wonder what’s going on. This is a form of emotional manipulation, whether you intend it to be or not. It creates an imbalance in the relationship where you hold all the cards and your partner is left guessing. This kind of power play has no place in a healthy, equal partnership.
4. It sets a precedent for secrecy.
Once you start hiding your phone, where does it end? This behaviour sets a precedent that it’s okay to keep secrets from each other. Soon, you might find yourself hiding other things — receipts, emails, or even your whereabouts. A relationship built on secrecy is bound to collapse sooner rather than later.
5. It causes a breakdown in communication.
When you hide your phone, you’re putting up a barrier between you. Your partner might feel hesitant to ask you about your day or who you’ve been talking to because they’re afraid you’ll accuse them of being nosy. This leads to a breakdown in daily communication, which is vital for maintaining a strong connection. Keeping your phone visible shows you’re willing to share your life with your partner.
6. It creates a cycle of mistrust.
Hiding your phone can kick off a vicious cycle of trust issues. Your partner becomes suspicious, so they start hiding things too. Before you know it, you’re both keeping secrets, and neither of you each other. This cycle is hard to break once it starts.
7. It adds extra stress to your relationship.
Relationships are challenging enough without adding extra stress, and hiding your phone creates a constant undercurrent of tension. You’re always on guard, worried about your partner seeing your screen. Your partner is always wondering what you’re hiding. This ongoing stress can wear down even the strongest relationships over time. Why put yourself through it?
8. It shows a lack of respect for your partner.
When you hide your phone, you’re essentially saying that you don’t respect your partner enough to be honest with them. You’re treating them like they can’t handle the truth or that they don’t deserve to know what’s going on in your life. This lack of respect can be deeply hurtful and damaging to your relationship.
9. It can lead to invasion of privacy.
Ironically, hiding your phone can lead to your privacy being invaded even more. If your partner becomes suspicious enough, they might feel justified in snooping through your phone when you’re not around. This breach of trust can be devastating to your relationship. When you’re open, you take away any need they’d have to snoop in the first place.
10. It creates an ‘us vs. them’ mentality.
Hiding your phone can create a division in your relationship. It becomes you and your phone versus your partner. This ‘us vs. them’ mentality is toxic for any relationship. It pits you against each other instead of working together as a team. Keeping your phone out in the open reinforces the idea that you’re in this together, with no secrets or divisions between you.
11. It can be a sign of deeper issues.
If you feel the need to hide your phone, it might be a sign of bigger problems in your relationship or within yourself. Maybe you’re not fully committed, or you’re struggling with trust issues from past experiences. Instead of hiding your phone, use it as a prompt to explore what’s really going on.
12. It prevents growth in your relationship.
Growth in a relationship comes from facing challenges together and being vulnerable with each other. Hiding your phone prevents this growth. It keeps you in a state of secrecy and mistrust, stunting the development of your relationship.
13. It leads to a lot of misunderstandings.
When you hide your phone, innocent situations can be misconstrued. A work email could be seen as a secret lover, or a surprise party plan could be interpreted as an affair. Do you really want to lose your relationship over an issue that’s not real and could have been avoided?
14. It creates a barrier to intimacy.
True intimacy in a relationship comes from being fully open and vulnerable with each other, and being weird about your phone puts a barrier in place. It’s a part of your life that you’re keeping separate from your partner, preventing them from fully knowing and understanding you.
15. It sets a bad example.
If you have children or plan to in the future, hiding your phone sets a poor example. You’re teaching them that it’s okay to keep secrets in a relationship, and that trust isn’t important. This can affect their future relationships and how they view trust and openness.
