In the early days of a relationship, everything feels exciting, fresh, and full of possibility.
The problem is that sometimes, in the haze of attraction and optimism, it’s easy to overlook warning signs that could spell trouble down the road. Small issues in the beginning often turn into major problems later, and the earlier you recognise them, the easier they are to address — or walk away from. If something feels a bit off, trust your gut. If you notice these bad omens manifesting in the early days of your relationship, don’t ignore them. Otherwise, you’ll probably live to regret it.
1. They refuse to take responsibility for their behaviour.
If someone refuses to take responsibility for their mistakes, that’s a sign of bigger problems ahead. Maybe they blame their ex for everything that went wrong in past relationships, refuse to apologise when they hurt your feelings, or constantly have an excuse for bad behaviour. Either way, it’s not a good sign.
Accountability is a key part of emotional maturity. If they struggle to admit when they’re wrong or always pass the blame onto someone else, it’s likely that conflicts in the relationship will be one-sided, with you carrying the emotional load while they dodge responsibility.
2. They make little effort to understand your feelings.
At the start of a relationship, emotional connection is just as important as physical attraction. If you express your feelings, and they brush them off, dismiss them as overreactions, or seem uninterested in understanding your perspective, that’s a bad sign.
Healthy relationships require empathy and a willingness to listen. If they show no interest in your emotions early on, don’t expect that to change later. A lack of emotional awareness often leads to deeper problems in communication, intimacy, and long-term compatibility.
3. Their words and actions don’t match up.
Inconsistent behaviour is a major red flag, especially early on. If they say all the right things, but their actions tell a different story, pay attention to what they actually do rather than what they promise.
Maybe they claim they’re serious about you but still keep their options open, or they say they value honesty but avoid direct conversations. Whatever the case, a disconnect between words and actions is a sign of dishonesty or emotional immaturity, both of which can cause major issues down the road.
4. They have a pattern of unstable relationships.
Pay attention to the way they talk about their past relationships. If they have a history of short-lived romances, dramatic breakups, or unresolved issues, it’s worth considering whether they struggle with commitment or accountability.
While everyone has a past, repeated relationship instability often points to deeper issues. If all their exes were supposedly “crazy” or they never take any responsibility for how things ended, don’t assume things will magically be different with you.
5. They don’t respect your boundaries.
Whether it’s physical, emotional, or personal space, boundaries are essential in any healthy relationship. If they push, guilt-trip, or ignore your limits early on, that’s a huge red flag. Respecting boundaries isn’t something that gets better with time — it’s a fundamental part of a person’s character. If they struggle with respecting your space or choices in the beginning, that pattern will likely continue as the relationship progresses.
6. They rush the relationship too quickly.
If someone is pushing for serious commitment before you’ve had time to really get to know them, be cautious. Love bombing — showering you with intense affection, big promises, and over-the-top gestures — can feel flattering, but it’s often a way to create emotional dependency.
A healthy relationship grows naturally, with both people having the space to develop trust and connection. If things feel like they’re moving at an overwhelming speed, take a step back and question whether it’s real intimacy or just manufactured intensity.
7. They refuse to have tough but necessary conversations.
Conflict is a natural part of any relationship, and how someone handles it early on says a lot about their emotional maturity. If they shut down, get defensive, or change the subject when anything uncomfortable comes up, that’s a problem. Healthy relationships require open and honest communication. If they can’t handle difficult discussions early on, it’s likely that deeper issues like conflict avoidance or emotional immaturity will create bigger problems later.
8. They make jokes at your expense.
A little teasing can be fun, but if their jokes regularly make you feel uncomfortable, it’s not something to ignore. If they dismiss your feelings by saying, “I was just joking,” or “You’re too sensitive,” that’s a way of deflecting responsibility for hurtful behaviour.
People who care about you won’t constantly put you down under the guise of humour. If they make you feel small or embarrassed in front of other people, that’s a sign of deeper issues with respect and emotional maturity.
9. They’re overly secretive about small things.
Everyone has a right to privacy, but if they’re oddly secretive about small, harmless details like who they’re texting, where they were last night, or basic personal information, it can be a sign that they’re hiding something. Early dishonesty, even about small things, often leads to bigger trust issues later. A partner who respects you won’t make you feel like you’re being kept in the dark over simple matters.
10. They struggle with emotional regulation.
Emotional outbursts, extreme mood swings, or an inability to handle frustration calmly can all be early warning signs of deeper issues. If they lash out when things don’t go their way or struggle to process emotions in a healthy way, that’s a serious concern.
Relationships require emotional stability, and if they struggle with managing their reactions now, it’s unlikely to improve as your relationship goes on. Pay attention to how they handle stress, disappointment, or disagreements — it’s often an indicator of how future disagreements will play out.
11. They “celebrate” your success through gritted teeth.
Someone who truly cares about you will be happy about your achievements, not secretly resentful or dismissive. If they downplay your accomplishments, act uninterested, or seem annoyed when things go well for you, that’s a sign of insecurity or competitiveness.
A supportive partner should encourage and cheer you on, not make you feel guilty for doing well. If they can’t celebrate your wins early on, they won’t magically become more supportive as the relationship progresses.
12. They don’t put in equal effort.
Relationships should feel balanced, especially in the beginning. If you’re the only one planning dates, initiating conversations, or making compromises, that’s a red flag. Early imbalances in effort usually don’t correct themselves over time. If they’re passive about investing in the relationship now, chances are they’ll expect you to carry the emotional and logistical weight of the relationship later.
13. They’re rude to service workers or strangers.
How someone treats people they don’t “need” anything from says a lot about their character. If they’re rude, dismissive, or condescending to waiters, cashiers, or strangers, that’s a sign of entitlement or a lack of empathy. It’s easy to be charming to someone you’re dating, but real kindness is reflected in everyday interactions. If they lack basic respect for other people, don’t expect them to treat you with kindness long-term.
14. You feel like you’re walking on eggshells around them.
If you find yourself constantly second-guessing your words or actions to avoid upsetting them, that’s a serious warning sign. Relationships should feel safe, not like a constant test of what will set the other person off. Feeling anxious about how they’ll react to small things is often a sign of deeper control or emotional instability. If you don’t feel like you can fully be yourself around them, it’s worth questioning why.
15. Your gut is telling you something isn’t right.
Sometimes, the biggest red flag isn’t something obvious—it’s just a lingering feeling that something is off. If you feel uneasy, unsettled, or like something isn’t quite adding up, trust that instinct. Ignoring early warning signs often leads to regret later. If your gut is telling you to pay attention, don’t dismiss it — there’s usually a reason you feel that way.
