Bullying isn’t reserved for the school yard — it continues well into adulthood for many people.
The tactics might be more underhanded and less obvious than they were when you were a child, but if you notice someone doing these things regularly, you could be the victim of adult bullying. If you are, don’t just sit back and accept it — confront the person, or talk with someone who can help.
1. They consistently criticise you in public.
Source: Pexels Public put-downs are a classic bullying tactic. An adult bully might regularly point out your mistakes or flaws in front of other people to embarrass you and undermine your confidence. It’s not constructive criticism; it’s an attempt to make you feel small. Remember, genuine feedback is usually given privately and with the intent to help, not harm.
2. They spread rumours or gossip about you.
Bullies often use information as a weapon. They might twist facts or create entirely false stories about you in order to damage your reputation and isolate you from other people. If you notice whispers stop when you enter a room or colleagues seem to have misplaced ideas about you, it could be a sign of behind-the-scenes bullying.
3. They exclude you from social activities or meetings.
Deliberate exclusion is a form of social bullying. An adult bully might ‘forget’ to invite you to important meetings or after-work gatherings so that you feel like an outsider. Sadly, this can impact both your personal life and professional progress. Everyone forgets sometimes, but consistent exclusion is a red flag.
4. They take credit for your work or ideas.
Intellectual theft is a common form of workplace bullying. The bully might present your ideas as their own in meetings or claim credit for projects you’ve worked hard on, which not only robs you of recognition but can also hinder your career advancement. It’s important to document your contributions and speak up when this happens.
5. They use intimidating body language.
Bullies often use non-verbal cues to assert dominance. This might include standing too close, blocking your path, or using aggressive gestures. Even if they’re not physically touching you, their behaviour is meant to make you feel threatened and uncomfortable. Trust your instincts if someone’s presence makes you feel uneasy.
6. They constantly interrupt or talk over you.
Repeatedly cutting you off mid-sentence is a way for bullies to assert control and diminish your voice, and it shows a lack of respect for your thoughts and opinions. It’s not just rude; it’s a deliberate attempt to silence you and make your contributions seem less valuable. Your words matter, and you deserve to be heard.
7. They use sarcasm or ‘jokes’ to put you down.
Humour can be a mask for cruelty. A bully might make cutting remarks about you and then claim they were ‘just joking’ if you object, hoping you’ll start to doubt your perceptions and feel oversensitive. Real jokes should make everyone laugh, not single out and hurt one person.
8. They give you impossible tasks or unreasonable deadlines.
Setting you up for failure is a subtle form of bullying. By assigning tasks that can’t be completed in the given timeframe, the bully creates opportunities to criticise your performance. It’s meant to make you doubt your abilities and feel constantly stressed. Fair leaders set challenging but achievable goals.
9. They withhold important information from you.
Knowledge is power, and bullies know this. They might deliberately keep you out of the loop on crucial information, making it harder for you to do your job effectively. As a result, they’re hoping you’ll look incompetent or unprepared. If you often feel like you’re the last to know important details, it could be a sign of bullying.
10. They invade your privacy.
Respect for personal boundaries is crucial. A bully might pry into your private life, share personal information without your consent, or even snoop through your belongings or digital files. This behaviour is meant to make you feel exposed and vulnerable. Everyone has a right to privacy, both in and out of the workplace.
11. They use their position or influence to threaten you.
Bullies often leverage power imbalances. They might hint at negative consequences if you don’t go along with their wishes, or subtly threaten your job security, which creates a climate of fear and uncertainty. Remember, genuine leaders inspire through respect, not fear.
12. They gaslight you.
Gaslighting is a manipulative tactic where the bully makes you question your own perceptions or memories. They might deny saying or doing things you clearly remember, or insist events happened differently than you remember, so that you doubt yourself and your judgement. Trust your experiences and keep records if necessary.
13. They give you the silent treatment.
Freezing someone out is a passive-aggressive form of bullying. The bully might suddenly stop communicating with you, ignore your messages, or refuse to acknowledge your presence to make you feel isolated and anxious. Remember, silent treatment is not a mature way to handle conflicts.
14. They micromanage or excessively monitor your work.
While some oversight is normal, constant scrutiny can be a form of bullying. The bully might check on you excessively, criticise minor details, or question your every move, which undermines your autonomy and suggests a lack of trust in your abilities. Effective leaders guide and support, not control every aspect of your work.
15. They dismiss or trivialise your concerns.
Source: Unsplash When you try to address issues, a bully might brush off your concerns or accuse you of being too sensitive. Their dismissive attitude is meant to silence you and prevent you from standing up for yourself. Your feelings and experiences are valid, and you have the right to be heard and respected. Don’t let anyone convince you otherwise.
