We all know that person who dismisses our feelings like a fly buzzing around their head. Whether they’re minimising your concerns, changing the subject, or offering unhelpful platitudes, it can be incredibly frustrating and hurtful. Next time you’re faced with a dismissive comment, arm yourself with these comebacks that assert your feelings and encourage understanding.
1. “I’m not overreacting, I’m just reacting.”
This comeback reminds the person that your feelings are valid, regardless of whether they think you’re being “too sensitive.” It’s important to recognise that everyone has different emotional responses, and what might be a minor issue for one person could be a major concern for another.
2. “My feelings are valid, even if you don’t understand them.”
This is a direct and assertive way to let the person know that you won’t tolerate having your feelings dismissed. It’s important to stand up for yourself and express your needs, even if it makes the other person uncomfortable.
3. “I would appreciate it if you could listen to me without judgment.”
This comeback invites the person to be more empathetic and understanding. By clearly expressing your desire for a supportive listening ear, you’re setting boundaries and communicating your expectations for the conversation. It’s a respectful way to steer the interaction in a more positive direction.
4. “Just because you wouldn’t feel that way, doesn’t mean I don’t.”
Source: Pexels This comeback reminds the person that everyone experiences emotions differently. Just because something wouldn’t bother them, doesn’t invalidate your feelings. It’s a gentle way to encourage them to broaden their perspective and consider things from your point of view.
5. “I understand that you’re trying to be helpful, but what I really need is for you to listen and acknowledge my feelings.”
This comeback acknowledges the person’s intentions while also redirecting the conversation to your needs. It’s a diplomatic way to express that while you appreciate their efforts, what you truly require is validation and support.
6. “When you say things like that, it makes me feel invalidated and unheard.”
Source: Unsplash This comeback communicates the impact of their dismissive words on your emotional well-being. It’s a vulnerable statement that invites them to reflect on their behaviour and, hopefully, inspire a change in their approach.
7. “I’m allowed to feel this way.”
Source: Unsplash This is a simple but powerful comeback that reminds the person that you have a right to your emotions. It’s a way to reclaim your power and refuse to let anyone invalidate your feelings. Remember, your emotions are valid, regardless of whether someone else understands them or not.
8. “Please don’t tell me how I should feel.”
Source: Unsplash This comeback sets a clear boundary against being told how you should or shouldn’t feel. It asserts your autonomy and reminds the other person that your emotions are your own. It’s okay to tell someone when their comments are unhelpful or hurtful.
9. “I’m not looking for advice right now, I just need you to listen.”
Source: Unsplash Sometimes, people jump straight into solution mode when what you really need is a listening ear. This comeback establishes that you’re not seeking advice or solutions at this moment, but rather validation and empathy for your feelings.
10. “Your response is minimising my feelings, and I don’t appreciate it.”
Source: Unsplash This is a direct and assertive way to call out the dismissive behaviour. By explicitly stating that their words are minimising your feelings, you’re holding them accountable for their actions and making it clear that this kind of response isn’t acceptable.
11. “It seems like you’re having trouble empathising with what I’m going through.”
Source: Unsplash This comeback gently points out their lack of empathy without being accusatory. By phrasing it as an observation rather than a judgment, you open the door for a discussion about how they can be more supportive in the future.
12. “I would never say that to you if you were sharing your feelings with me.”
Source: Unsplash This comeback highlights the lack of reciprocity in the interaction. By drawing attention to how they would feel if the roles were reversed, you might encourage them to be more considerate and empathetic towards your emotions.
13. “I understand this might not be a big deal to you, but it is to me.”
Source: Unsplash This comeback acknowledges their perspective while firmly asserting the importance of your own feelings. It’s a reminder that even if they don’t understand why something is upsetting you, it doesn’t diminish the validity of your emotions.
14. “It hurts when you dismiss my feelings like that.”
This comeback expresses vulnerability and communicates the emotional impact of their words. By sharing how their behaviour affects you, you might encourage them to be more mindful of their words and actions in the future.
15. “I need some space right now.”
Sometimes, the best comeback is to simply remove yourself from the situation. If the person continues to be dismissive despite your efforts to communicate your feelings, it’s perfectly okay to walk away and take some time for yourself. You don’t owe anyone an explanation, and your mental health should always be a priority.
