A good percentage of our communication happens via texting these days, but that can be incredibly frustrating.
Sometimes your messages get ignored, conversations fizzle out since they’re not happening in real-time, or you just don’t get the kind of responses you were hoping for — and none of those things are all that great. However, there are a few things you can do to keep things flowing and make people actually enjoy texting you (or at least pay enough attention to your messages that you’re not waiting hours or days for a text back). Follow these guidelines, and they’re pretty much guaranteed to make things better.
1. Don’t just say “hey” or “what’s up” and expect a good reply.
One-word openers like “hey” or “what’s up?” are the quickest way to get ignored — or at best, a dry response. They don’t give the other person anything to work with, and since they require effort to answer, they’re often met with silence. Instead, make your first message something engaging. A question, a joke, or a specific comment gives them something to respond to and keeps the conversation from feeling like a dead-end before it even starts.
2. Match their texting energy.
If someone is sending short, casual replies, responding with long paragraphs can feel overwhelming. On the flip side, if they’re putting effort into their messages, and you’re just sending dry responses, the conversation will die quickly. Matching someone’s texting energy makes the conversation feel natural. If they’re using emojis, playful banter, or longer responses, follow their lead. If they’re keeping it short, keep it light and don’t overdo it.
3. Don’t overuse “lol” or “haha” as a filler.
“Lol” and “haha” can make messages feel more relaxed, but if you’re adding them to every sentence, they lose their effect. Saying, “Lol, yeah haha, I think so haha,” makes it seem like you’re unsure of what to say or trying too hard to seem fun. Use them when they actually make sense, like after a joke or something funny. Otherwise, let your messages stand on their own so they feel more natural and confident.
4. Keep your messages balanced — don’t text like a robot or an essay writer.
Some people send messages that are way too formal, like they’re writing an email: “Hello, how are you today? I hope you are doing well.” Others go the opposite way and text in dry, one-word replies that make them seem uninterested. The sweet spot is casual but engaging. “Hey, how’s your day going?” or “Just saw something that reminded me of you” keeps the conversation feeling easy and natural without overthinking it.
5. If they take a while to respond, don’t double-text immediately.
It’s tempting to send a follow-up text if someone hasn’t responded, but unless it’s urgent, give them time. People get busy, forget to reply, or just need a moment to think of a response. Double-texting too soon can make you seem impatient or pushy. If it’s been a while (like a day or more), a laid-back follow-up works better than demanding a reply — something like, “Did my last text scare you away? 😂” keeps things playful.
6. Know when to end the conversation.
Dragging out a conversation with unnecessary messages (like sending “lol” just to keep it going) can make things awkward. If the conversation naturally dies down, it’s okay to let it end. Good texting chemistry means knowing when to keep the flow going and when to take a break. Leaving things on a good note instead of forcing small talk makes the next conversation feel more exciting.
7. Use voice notes or memes to switch things up.
Sometimes, text messages alone aren’t enough to keep things interesting. Sending a quick voice note or a meme related to your conversation adds variety and makes things feel more dynamic. Plus, hearing someone’s voice or sharing a funny moment creates a more personal connection. It shows effort without feeling forced, which makes conversations more fun and engaging.
8. Avoid one-sided conversations.
If someone is asking you questions, keeping the chat going, and putting in effort, but you’re just answering without adding anything back, they’ll eventually stop trying. Conversations should feel like a ping-pong match, not a Q&A session. Ask follow-up questions, share something about yourself, or add a new topic. It makes you more enjoyable to talk to and shows that you’re genuinely interested in the conversation.
9. Don’t be overly cryptic or vague.
Some people try to be mysterious by sending texts like “Guess what happened today…” and then disappearing for hours. While a little suspense can be fun, too much of it just makes the conversation frustrating. If you’re going to tease something, at least follow up with a response fairly quickly. Otherwise, the other person might lose interest before they even get to find out what you were talking about.
10. Read the tone of their responses.
Texting doesn’t have body language, so tone can sometimes get lost. If someone is responding with short answers, they might be busy, tired, or just not in the mood to chat—don’t assume they’re mad at you. At the same time, if their responses seem excited and engaged, it’s a good sign to keep the conversation going. Learning to read the vibe of a text makes your messages feel more natural and well-timed.
11. Use emojis in the right way.
Emojis can add personality to a text, but overusing them can make messages feel childish or cluttered. Saying, “Omg 😍😂🔥✨😎” in every response just makes it seem like you’re trying too hard. Using one or two emojis naturally can enhance a message, but throwing them into every sentence can feel excessive. Keep it balanced so your texts don’t feel like they were written by a 2012-era Facebook post.
12. Don’t text just to complain.
Venting occasionally is fine, but if every time you text someone it’s to talk about how tired, stressed, or annoyed you are, it’s going to drain the conversation. Nobody wants to feel like they’re your personal therapist. Conversations should be a mix of fun, meaningful, and engaging. If you need to vent, make sure you’re also bringing something positive or interesting to the table so it doesn’t feel like a one-way emotional dump.
13. Keep flirting playful, not cringey.
If you’re texting someone in a romantic way, flirting should feel light and natural. Over-the-top pick-up lines or trying too hard to be “smooth” often just comes across as awkward. Instead of forcing it, keep things playful — teasing, inside jokes, or funny observations make flirting feel effortless instead of scripted. The best kind of flirting is the kind that feels like a fun conversation, not a rehearsed performance.
14. Don’t take hours to reply just to seem cool.
Some people deliberately wait hours or even days to respond because they think it makes them seem more desirable. In reality, it often just makes them seem uninterested or hard to talk to. You don’t have to reply instantly, but don’t force a delay just for the sake of it. Natural response times make texting feel effortless rather than like a weird power game.
15. End on a good note instead of letting the convo fade awkwardly.
Instead of letting the conversation slowly fade into nothing, ending with something light like, “Alright, I’ll let you go! Talk soon 😊” makes things feel intentional. It keeps the interaction positive rather than leaving it in limbo. Ending the conversation well makes the next chat feel more natural, rather than like you’re picking up from an awkward, unfinished exchange.
