It’s great when anyone puts effort into being a decent human being, but sometimes the bar is set so low it’s practically on the ground.
While positive reinforcement is important for everyone, regardless of gender, there are some basic adult behaviours that shouldn’t be treated like exceptional achievements. Men definitely don’t deserve a standing ovation for doing these things — they’re the bare minimum, not grand gestures!
1. Being faithful in a relationship
The number of times someone’s heard, “Wow, you’ve never cheated? That’s amazing!” is surprisingly high. Basic loyalty in a committed relationship isn’t a spectacular achievement — it’s the minimum requirement. Staying faithful in a relationship should be as automatic and unremarkable as breathing. The very notion that fidelity deserves special recognition reveals troubling assumptions about relationship standards.
2. Taking care of their own kids
Source: Unsplash “Oh, he’s babysitting today?” No, he’s parenting. When dads do basic childcare, they often get treated like they’re performing miracles. Changing nappies, handling bedtime, or watching their own children isn’t babysitting — it’s just called being a parent, something mums do every day without fanfare. The double standard reinforces the harmful idea that fathers are secondary caregivers rather than equal parents.
3. Doing their share of housework
Loading the dishwasher or running the vacuum shouldn’t earn special recognition. These are basic life skills everyone needs, not optional bonus features. When cleaning the bathroom gets treated like an act of heroic sacrifice, something’s off with our expectations. The praise for basic household participation often enables a cycle of minimal effort being seen as exceptional.
4. Having female friends without ulterior motives
Being able to maintain platonic friendships with women without trying to date them isn’t an achievement — it’s basic respect. Treating women like actual people rather than potential romantic interests shouldn’t be remarkable, it should be normal. Expecting genuine friendship gets undermined every time we applaud men for not viewing every woman as a dating prospect.
5. Basic hygiene and grooming
Showering regularly, wearing clean clothes, and maintaining basic grooming shouldn’t be praise-worthy. These are standard adult behaviours, not special accomplishments. The bar for personal care shouldn’t be on the floor. Regular hygiene represents the most basic form of self-respect and consideration for others around us.
6. Showing basic emotions
“He’s so brave for crying!” Actually, he’s just being human. When men express normal emotions like sadness or vulnerability, it shouldn’t be treated as a groundbreaking event. Having feelings isn’t a special skill — it’s part of being alive. The overpraise of emotional expression actually perpetuates the very stereotypes it claims to challenge.
7. Respecting women’s boundaries
Understanding and accepting “no” isn’t exceptional behaviour — it’s the bare minimum of human decency. Taking rejection gracefully or not pressuring someone shouldn’t earn extra credit points in basic respect. The fact that this basic consideration gets celebrated reveals how deeply entrenched problematic behaviours have become.
8. Having a job
Supporting yourself financially is adult behaviour 101. Having steady employment isn’t going above and beyond — it’s meeting a basic life requirement. The “he has a job!” praise sets the bar incredibly low for basic adult responsibilities. Such a minimal expectation becomes even more problematic when it’s used to excuse other behavioural shortcomings.
9. Basic cooking skills
Source: Unsplash Being able to prepare simple meals shouldn’t be treated like a rare talent. Making pasta or grilling a burger are survival skills, not special achievements. When basic kitchen competence gets celebrated like winning a cooking show, we need to adjust our standards. The ability to feed oneself is a fundamental adult skill that everyone should master without expecting applause.
10. Listening during conversations
Paying attention when someone speaks isn’t a special talent — it’s basic communication. Being present in conversations and actually hearing what others say shouldn’t be remarkable, it should be standard. Active listening represents the foundation of human interaction, not an optional upgrade to basic social skills.
11. Being polite to service workers
Treating servers, retail workers, and customer service staff with basic respect isn’t exceptional — it’s human decency 101. Being nice to people doing their jobs shouldn’t earn extra character points. It’s a baseline courtesy that reflects the minimum standard for participating in society.
12. Not being violent when angry
Controlling basic emotions and not resorting to violence shouldn’t be praiseworthy — it’s the bare minimum for functioning in society. Managing anger without aggression is basic adult behaviour, not a special achievement. The celebration of non-violence as exceptional behaviour sets a dangerously low bar for emotional regulation.
13. Supporting women’s success
Not feeling threatened by women’s achievements and actually supporting them shouldn’t be exceptional. Being secure enough to celebrate others’ success is basic maturity, not a revolutionary act. The need to praise basic professional consideration highlights ongoing gender biases in workplace dynamics.
14. Having good personal hygiene at work
Coming to work clean, wearing appropriate clothes, and maintaining basic grooming shouldn’t earn special recognition. These are standard workplace expectations, not bonus achievements. Professional presentation represents a basic form of workplace respect that everyone should maintain.
15. Treating past partners with respect
Not trash-talking exes or sharing private details after a breakup isn’t noble — it’s basic decency. Maintaining dignity and respect after a relationship ends should be standard behaviour, not exceptional character development. The tendency to praise this basic courtesy reveals how normalized post-relationship disrespect has become.
