Manners, while in extremely short supply these days, are incredibly important.
They’re a simple way to show respect and consideration for the people around you, and yet, far too many people seem to have forgotten how to use them (if they ever knew at all). Here are some basic manners that often feel like things of the past, even though they’re needed more than ever in the 21st century.
1. Saying “please” and “thank you”
These simple phrases go a long way in showing appreciation and respect. Whether you’re asking for a favour or receiving help, using “please” and “thank you” acknowledges the other person’s effort. It’s not just about being polite; it’s about recognising the value of other people’s actions. Even in casual settings or with people you know well, these words help maintain a positive atmosphere and show that you don’t take kindness for granted.
2. Holding the door open for people
This small gesture can make a big difference in someone’s day. It’s not about chivalry or gender roles; it’s simply about being considerate to those around you. If you’re entering a building and someone is right behind you, taking a moment to hold the door can be a welcome act of kindness. It’s especially helpful for people carrying heavy items or those who might have mobility issues. This simple act shows awareness of the people around you and contributes to a more courteous society.
3. Putting away phones during in-person conversations
In our connected world, it’s easy to be glued to our screens. However, constantly checking your phone during face-to-face conversations is disrespectful. It signals that whatever is on your phone is more important than the person you’re with. Giving someone your full attention shows that you value their time and what they have to say. If you’re expecting an important call or message, it’s polite to mention this at the start of the conversation.
4. Respecting people’s personal space
Everyone has different comfort levels when it comes to personal space. Being mindful of this is an important social skill. In queues, public transport, or crowded areas, try to give people as much space as possible. If you need to reach past someone, a quick “excuse me” goes a long way. Respecting personal space also means being aware of your volume in public places. Loud conversations or music can be intrusive to other people trying to enjoy their own space.
5. Being on time
Arriving on time shows respect for other people’s schedules. When you’re late, you’re essentially saying that your time is more valuable than theirs. Of course, unexpected delays happen, but making a habit of punctuality is a courtesy that’s often appreciated. If you’re running late, it’s polite to let the other person know as soon as possible. Being consistently punctual helps build trust and shows that you’re reliable and considerate of others.
6. Responding to invitations in decent time
Whether it’s a formal event or a casual get-together, responding to invitations in a timely manner is courteous. It helps the host plan effectively and shows that you appreciate being included. Even if you can’t attend, a quick response is better than no response at all. With digital invitations becoming more common, it’s easy to overlook or forget to reply. Making an effort to respond promptly, whether it’s a yes or a no, is a simple way to show respect for the host’s efforts.
7. Listening without interrupting
In conversations, it’s important to give people a chance to express their thoughts fully before jumping in. Interrupting can make the speaker feel unheard or undervalued. Good listening involves more than just waiting for your turn to speak; it’s about truly focusing on what the other person is saying. If you need to interject, wait for a natural pause or politely say “Excuse me” before speaking. Practising active listening not only shows respect but also leads to more meaningful and productive conversations.
8. Using appropriate language in public spaces
Being mindful of your language in public areas is a courtesy to those around you. This includes avoiding excessive swearing or using offensive terms, especially in places where children might be present. It’s not about censorship, but about creating a comfortable environment for everyone. Remember that in public spaces, you’re sharing the area with people from various backgrounds and sensitivities. Adjusting your language to suit the setting shows social awareness and respect for other people.
9. Covering your mouth when coughing or sneezing
This simple hygiene practice is more important than ever. Covering your mouth and nose when coughing or sneezing helps prevent the spread of germs. Ideally, use a tissue or the crook of your elbow rather than your hand. If you do use your hand, wash it as soon as possible afterwards. This habit isn’t just about manners; it’s about public health. Being mindful of this shows that you care about the well-being of those around you.
10. Respecting queue etiquette
Queuing patiently is a basic social contract that keeps things fair and orderly. Cutting in or trying to squeeze in front of people is disrespectful to those who have been waiting. If you genuinely need to move ahead in a queue due to an emergency, politely explain your situation and ask for permission from people in the queue. Remember, everyone’s time is valuable, and respecting the queue shows consideration for other people’s schedules and patience.
11. Keeping shared spaces clean
Whether it’s a workplace kitchen, public restroom, or shared living area, leaving spaces clean for the next person is a basic courtesy. This includes cleaning up after yourself, disposing of rubbish properly, and being mindful of shared resources. In public spaces, it means not littering and respecting facilities. At work, it could be wiping down the microwave after use or washing your dishes. These small actions make a big difference in creating pleasant shared environments and show respect for both the space and the people who use it.
12. Giving up seats for those who need them more
On public transport or in waiting areas, offering your seat to someone who needs it more is a simple act of kindness. This includes elderly people, pregnant women, those with mobility issues, or anyone who appears to be struggling. It’s not always obvious who might need a seat, so being observant and ready to offer can make a significant difference to someone’s day. This gesture shows empathy and consideration for other people’s comfort and health.
13. Being mindful of noise levels in shared spaces
Whether it’s talking loudly on the phone in public, playing music without headphones, or having noisy conversations in quiet areas, being aware of your noise level is important. In shared spaces like flats, offices, or public transport, excessive noise can be disruptive and stressful for people. Being considerate about the volume of your activities shows respect for those around you and helps maintain a peaceful environment for everyone.
14. Writing thank-you notes
Source: Unsplash In the age of instant messaging, the practice of writing thank-you notes has declined. However, taking the time to write a personal note of thanks, whether for a gift, a kind gesture, or after being hosted, is still a meaningful courtesy. It shows genuine appreciation and thoughtfulness. Even a short, handwritten note can have a big impact and is often cherished by the recipient. This practice helps strengthen relationships and shows that you value the effort other people make for you.
15. Respecting other people’s opinions during disagreements
In an era of polarised views, the ability to disagree respectfully seems to be fading. It’s important to remember that having a different opinion doesn’t make someone a bad person. Listening to other people’s POV without interrupting, avoiding personal attacks, and being open to changing your mind are all part of respectful disagreement. This doesn’t mean you have to agree with everyone, but handling differences of opinion with grace and maturity is a valuable social skill. It encourages better communication and understanding, even in the face of conflicting views.
