Growing up with parents who could give a drill sergeant a run for their money might’ve left you with some interesting “quirks.”
You know, the kind that make you fold your socks with military precision or break out in a cold sweat at the thought of being five minutes late. While structure can be fab, too much of it can make your life a lot harder and way less fun. Here are some bad habits you may have picked up from your extremely strict parents. Thanks, Mum and Dad!
1. You’ve got a love affair with your to-do list that borders on obsession
Your phone’s notes app is crammed with more lists than a supermarket inventory. You’ve got lists for your lists, and heaven forbid you accomplish something that wasn’t on the sacred scroll – you’ll add it just to tick it off. This compulsive need to document and control every aspect of your day isn’t just about being organised. It’s a coping mechanism, a way to feel in control when the world around you seems chaotic. But life’s messy, and sometimes the best moments are the unplanned ones.
2. You’re allergic to spontaneity and last-minute plans.
The mere thought of an impromptu pub night sends you into a tailspin. Your diary is colour-coded weeks in advance, and the idea of deviating from the plan makes you deeply uncomfortable and sets off your anxiety. This rigidity might stem from a childhood where everything was scheduled to the minute. While planning has its perks, it can also rob you of joy and serendipity. Sometimes, the best memories come from those spur-of-the-moment decisions.
3. You’re a chronic over-apologiser, even when you’ve done nothing wrong.
You find yourself saying “sorry” more often than a Canadian on a politeness binge. Bump into a chair? “Sorry!” Someone else makes a mistake? “Sorry!” This habit often comes from growing up in an environment where you felt you had to apologise for your very existence. It’s a way of preemptively breaking the tension, even when there isn’t any. However, constantly apologising can undermine your self-worth and make people take you less seriously.
4. You’ve got a black belt in catastrophising.
The amount of mental gymnastics you do is mind-boggling, and you always manage to land on the worst possible scenario. Forgot to reply to an email? Clearly, you’re getting fired. Friend didn’t text back immediately? They must hate you now. This tendency to jump to dire conclusions often comes from growing up in an environment where mistakes were treated as disasters. It’s exhausting and rarely reflects reality.
5. You’re a perfectionist to the point of paralysis.
Source: Unsplash You’d rather not start a project at all than risk it being anything less than flawless. This isn’t about high standards; it’s about fear of failure and judgement. Maybe you grew up hearing “if you can’t do it perfectly, don’t do it at all”. But this mindset can leave you stuck, missing out on opportunities for growth and learning.
6. You struggle to accept compliments without deflecting or minimising.
When someone praises your work, you immediately point out its flaws. A compliment on your appearance is met with an explanation of how long it took to achieve or a self-deprecating joke. This habit often stems from an upbringing where pride was discouraged and humility was overemphasised. However, constantly brushing off compliments isn’t humility – it’s a form of self-sabotage that can destroy your self-esteem over time.
7. You’ve got a very rigid moral code.
Your sense of right and wrong is so inflexible, it could snap in a strong breeze. You struggle to see grey areas, often judging situations (and people) as entirely good or bad. This black-and-white thinking might come from growing up with strict, authoritarian parents who had very clear ideas about morality. While having principles is important, this rigidity can make it hard to empathise with people or adapt to complex, nuanced situations.
8. You’re hyper-vigilant about time, treating lateness like a cardinal sin.
You’d rather arrive an hour early than risk being a minute late. The idea of keeping someone waiting fills you with dread, and you judge people harshly for their tardiness. This obsession with punctuality often comes from parents who equated being on time with respect and moral virtue. While being punctual is generally positive, this level of anxiety about time can be stressful for you and those around you. Sometimes, life happens, and a few minutes here or there won’t cause the world to end.
9. You’ve got a complicated relationship with rest and relaxation.
The concept of ‘doing nothing’ makes you twitch. You feel guilty for binge-watching a series or spending a day in your pyjamas. This discomfort with relaxation often stems from a childhood where idle hands were seen as the devil’s playthings. Your parents might have equated constant productivity with worth. But here’s the thing: rest isn’t just nice, it’s necessary. Burning the candle at both ends doesn’t make you a better person; it just makes you a burnt-out one.
10. You’ve got an unhealthy obsession with cleanliness and order.
Your home looks like it could be featured in a minimalist design magazine, and the sight of a dirty dish in the sink sends you into a tizzy. This isn’t just about liking things tidy; it’s a compulsive need for control that can interfere with your enjoyment of life. Maybe you grew up in a home where cleanliness was next to godliness, and any mess was treated like a moral failing. But a little chaos can be freeing, and sometimes, the mess is where the magic happens.
11. You struggle to express or handle strong emotions.
When feelings bubble up, you swallow them down like a bitter pill. Crying feels weak, anger feels dangerous, and joy feels like tempting fate. This emotional constipation often comes from growing up in a household where feelings were seen as messy or inconvenient. But emotions are part of the human experience, and bottling them up can lead to all sorts of problems down the line. It’s okay to feel things deeply – in fact, it’s healthy.
12. You’ve got a rebellious streak that sometimes works against you.
Paradoxically, your upbringing might have left you with a knee-jerk reaction against any form of authority or rules. You might find yourself breaking rules just for the sake of it, even when following them would actually benefit you. This isn’t about being a free spirit; it’s about pushing back against the rigid control you experienced as a child. But true freedom isn’t about blindly rejecting all structure – it’s about choosing what works for you.
13. You struggle with decision-making, always second-guessing yourself.
Choosing between pasta or pizza for dinner feels like a life-altering decision. You agonise over every choice, big or small, always worried you’ll make the ‘wrong’ one. This paralysis often comes from growing up in an environment where mistakes were heavily criticised, and the ‘right’ choice was always dictated to you. But life isn’t a test with only one correct answer. Sometimes, you’ve got to trust your gut and take a leap.
14. You have an unhealthy relationship with food and mealtimes.
Maybe you can’t leave food on your plate, or you feel guilty for indulging in ‘junk’ food. Mealtimes might feel more like a military operation than a chance to enjoy good grub. This often stems from rigid rules around eating in childhood – clean your plate, no snacking, dessert only if you’re ‘good’. But food isn’t just fuel; it’s one of life’s great pleasures. It’s okay to eat for enjoyment, not just necessity.
15. You struggle to ask for help or admit when you’re struggling.
Source: Unsplash The idea of reaching out when you’re drowning feels more terrifying than the drowning itself. You’ve internalised the idea that needing help is a sign of weakness or failure. This often comes from a childhood where self-reliance was prized above all else, and vulnerability was seen as a flaw. But here’s the truth: asking for help isn’t weak, it’s human. We’re not meant to go through life alone, and there’s strength in admitting when you need a hand.
